Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Conversation >

Sorted for Oestrogen and Whizz? What are your contraceptive choices?

Page: (1)2

ONLY NICE THINGS

17:07 / 01.11.02

Torqsidriver, in another thread, said:

And remember that while some women still have concerns about the effects of the Pill, the overwhelming majority of women still take it.

I was wondering - is this true? With very few exceptions, the women I have known who have taken the Pill have done so precisely because of its effects - to regulate particularly unpleasant periods, normally.

The idea of the pill as a method of contraception seems slightly dated, like the diaphragm. There's a sort of Rita Tushingham feel about the whole procedure - young girls up in Swinging London, jumpers for goalposts.

Then again, most of the women of my acquaintance are probably body-conscious in different ways to many, so perhaps mine is not a particularly useful quorum.

So, do you use the Pill? If so, why? Do you use it with or instead of other forms of contraception. And, in case the boys are feeling left out, what kind of contraception do you prefer, and why?

22:27 / 01.11.02

I use a pill/condom combo, in an effort to prevent Mazarinean spawn from taking over the earth or requiring tuition. I use the pill, sorry, The Pill, because 1. I'm a flake who can't keep track of her own cycle unless it turns up on a Wednesday, and 2. Had very painful periods. On one hand, you have the increased risk of breast cancer, on the other, you have the decreased risk in ovarian cancer. I don't smoke and have the blood pressure of a sloth on valium, so hypertension isn't a concern. I considered Norplant, but I was told that the side effects were worse, and the thought of having something implanted under my skin gives me the creeps. There's this birth control patch they have out now, you slap one on once a week and forget about it, I'm kinda curious about it but I'll probably stick with what I've got.

More than you ever wanted to know, I'm sure.

07:19 / 02.11.02

Since I don't sleep with men, I don't need to use contraception of any kind (and yeah, I am a bit smug about it - never having another pregnancy scare is pretty wonderful) but in days gone by I did use the Pill. Because my male partner refused to use a condom. The Pill was horrible - gave me regular leg cramps, put loads of weight on.... a doctor tried to pressure me into using it again recently for my period pain, but there's no way I'd go back to it.

pointless and uncalled for

10:29 / 02.11.02

I'm in two minds about contraception (that's two rather small minds as it's not really an issue for me). I'm aware of the many considerations and on one hand prefer The Pill as it is more reliable and less invasive, on he other hand the condom is less phyisically affecting to the woman which is a very important consideration and thus on that scale the better option. I do however find the invasiveness of it a little distracting.

It's not like it lessens the sensation and with a good fit can be quite good, but you know it's there and if you really want to go for the natural sensation experience then it just isn't going to work. Kind of like eating a sandwich while it's still in the wrapper.

Beyond these two options I'm not convinced about other forms of contraception and the statistics aren't great advertisements.

If my humble opinion is to be taken to any degree then the form of contraception should be a diplomatic and caring agreement between partners.

That's my pathetic male opinion with it's associated level of detachment.

13:20 / 02.11.02

Yeah, lesbianism is a goodly contraceptive. When I did sleep with men, I was on the pill, just because my long-term partner had a morbid fear of condoms. First one I tried (Dianette - sp?) made me feel even more like I was losing my mind than I'm accustomed to, nearly lost me my relationship (should've given it a bit longer, it would've saved me an awful lot of pain). Second one (Cilest) was fine, no obvious side effects.

ONLY NICE THINGS

13:38 / 02.11.02

I'm sorry, but what the *fuck* is this fear of condoms shit? I always assumed that only the very shittest of the shit pulled that sort of stunt; is it in fact a comon occurence?

Boys - tell all. Are you too sexually incompetent to handle a sheath? Or just oppressed by the fact that you don't have to roll them down all the way to the rim?

14:03 / 02.11.02

Hm. Condoms. I remember sporadic teenage (and twentysomething) 'experiments' with donning a condom (at least one inspired by DC's Gaiman/McKean 'Death with Banana' pamphlet), well before I ever actually did anything necessitating the use of one. I could never quite accustom myself to the unpleasant feeling of vacuum-packed tightness, the sensation that my (admittedly abnormally tight) foreskin was stretched so taut, beneath the latex, that it was about to split.

Tried more lubricant, which eased the discomfort slightly but made the whole procedure even more farcical - like trying to clingfilm a soaped eel. Never did get the hang of it and still find 'em nasty, unwieldy things (to this date, I don't think I've ever actually managed to ejaculate in one), so I can sympathise slightly with the whole "fear of condoms" angle.

Difference is, I'm lucky enough that the kinds of sex I enjoy rarely require the use of a condom. I guess if this weren't the case, I'd have had to overcome my dislike...

The Apple-Picker

14:35 / 02.11.02

I use The Pill, though not really so much for the contraceptive benefits because I've only ever had one sex partner. I got back on the pill because of that relationship (he didn't use condoms), but I stay on it just in case. Also, I've not ever gained weight because of the pill, and my doctor told me that you don't gain weight from taking the pill.

Tryphena Absent

15:09 / 02.11.02

I was on the pill for a while, for contraceptive reasons, though now I'm off it I'm reminded that period pains are actually painful. I put on weight, my ovaries ached all the time and it was generally unpleasant for 3 out of the 6 months that I fed the things in to my body.

I have quite a lot of friends who take the pill to regulate their periods and quite a few who don't and like to flaunt the fact that they're on it by taking it to the pub with them and flashing it at the other girls. I find this peculiar and can't really understand why they feel the need to tell everyone in the whole entire world that they stick a little white thing in their mouth and swallow once a day. Maybe they're trying to make the single and pill-less girls feel bad because they're getting some and we're not, it just reminds me that I'm more secure then they are. People who flash their pills really shouldn't be allowed to take them if you know what I mean.

Having said all of that I admit that I don't think condoms are particularly nice things for women either and it was a joy not to use them for a while. The pill causes pain and condoms cause irritation.

16:10 / 02.11.02

Tried a variety of sizes, Bizunth. I suspect my foreskin is the wrong size for my cock...

The Apple-Picker

22:03 / 02.11.02

Janina, you hang out with very odd people. I've never heard of this BCP-flashing thing you're talking about.

03:18 / 03.11.02

The oddest thing about "the Pill" in America, these days, is that thanks to the miracle of legal prescription drug television adverts, we now have the leading variant (Orthotrycycline) touting the side-effect of its blemish-clearing power as much as its primary use. Another up-and-comer, the name of which has slipped my mind, claims that women who take it will lose weight (just a pound or two, and I'm not sure that there's clinical evidence that it's true), in contrast to the fabled bloating power of the "standard" variant."

01:27 / 04.11.02

I've been on the Pill for years now and have never had ANY side effects at all. The benefits, for me, have made my life so much easier. I used to suffer from PMS fairly regularly, and I can't say I miss it. I like that you can use it for a three month stretch without stopping so as to halt your period entirely. It's so much more convenient that way.
I always thought that the whole thing about gaining weight with the Pill was a myth. Were these older brands of the Pill or are we talking about the Pill both old and new?

The Return Of Rothkoid

01:56 / 04.11.02

DTET: I know the Pill you're talking about - I can't recall its name either, and I can't lay my hands on the mag that has a bit in it about the product... but IIRC, it causes a loss of about half a kilo - observed clinically - though doctors we asked pointed out that that's no more or less than a normal fluctuation in weight...

08:59 / 04.11.02

In the rather unlikely event of my ever being called upon to name twin girls, I'm going to call them Dianette and Cilest...

13:55 / 04.11.02

Condoms: I think guys should always use 'em, at least when starting out with someone/one-night stands, whatever. Damn bad manners not too. As for fear of 'em - eh? Discomfort and annoyance - yes. Fear of 'em splitting - yep (and this isn't a size boast, it's quite common regardless) - but fear? Was he afraid of his socks as well?

Goodness Gracious Meme

14:08 / 04.11.02

Halellujah for Mr.I, lone voice of sanity.

To be honest, find the condoms being 'uncomfortable' from the female perspective slightly bizarre. Don't think I've ever noticed this.

If we're talking penetrative sex with men, condoms, basically. Have used, and am happy to use femidoms, and do offer, but it's very rare that it's taken up. odd.

Never taken the pill, as although periods are painful, i have various other ways of dealing with this (think there was a long=ago barbe-thread) and am fortunate that on the scale of things, they're really not that bad. And am too concerned/paranoid about taking hormones long-term, especially now i'm on powerful anti-deps. It's personal, but figure one set of really strong chemical mood alterers is a enough for this bengali.

I don't say 'never', but really can't see myself changing my mind on this one. and I do know that if I never take the pill, that
*will* make me pretty rare amongst women I know...

Goodness Gracious Meme

14:09 / 04.11.02

which makes me wonder, when, if at all, in a relationship, do people stop using condoms/barriers/contraception. (which is a slightly different issue, I guess, as we're not just talking use for contraceptive purposes)

19:18 / 04.11.02

Depends how important penetration is to their sex lives, I guess.

The Apple-Picker

19:50 / 04.11.02

And am too concerned/paranoid about taking hormones long-term.

I was initially prescribed birth control pills when I was twelve because of vomiting, nausea, and nasty cramps during my periods. I typically missed at least one day of school a month.

Then a few years ago I went off every drug I was on without consulting my doc, including BCP. Many might not consider that the wisest of choices (not consulting the doc), but I was pleased with it.

I've realized that as far as my body is concerned, the pain is best mitigated by rigorous and regular exercise. The pill was never enough to take care of the pain on its own.

Whisky Priestess

13:25 / 05.11.02

Hmm ... a series of issues here. Have to say that I always was a condom girl up until a pregnancy scare about 2 years ago when I went on the Pill very briefly. Why condoms? Have to say with my boy-scout hat on that it was safety first, although I really hated the fiddle of having to find/put them on and the fact that many a fragile erection, faced with a condom, curls up and dies. However I would say that as a one-size-fits all (not literally, of course) generic vanilla contraceptive that is pretty much universally accepted, they're not bad.

However, the whole "I don't trust you not to have a social disease" subliminal message that condoms give out has always been problematic to me (unless it was for a one night stand where I actually didn't trust my partner not to have a social disease). Never had a sensitivity issue either, and I can't understand women who claim to, seeing as there are no nerve endings inside the vagina, and if your lover is banging away at your clitoris wearing a condom something's gone funny anyway.

At what point in a relationship does one move from barrier to chemical contraception, thus to increase intimacy, ease spontaneity etc? In my case, never - just didn't really reach the right level of trust (or didn't last long enough) most of the time - plus a number of my relationships have been non-exclusive so it was never a good idea to assume my lover was lurgy-free.

Having said that, I'm now back on the Pill (which I resisted for ages because I'm a smoker with a family history of breast cancer) and I've had absolutely no side-effects, no weight gain that I've noticed, plus there are lots of different types and it's not the one associated with higher cancer risk (although you never know, of course.) I have to say that apart from remembering to take the buggers it's a whole lot better and easier than condoms if you're in an exclusive relationship, and as for Femidoms, the cap, and the various other methods I haven't tried them, but I doubt they can be as convenient. Go Pill!

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:05 / 05.11.02

Ummm....did I miss a meeting? The one where the phrase "exclusive relationship" magically purged the entire body of STDs, leaving a clean slate?

14:17 / 05.11.02

You have to hold hands and chant it three times, Haus. It works better if you're wearing ruby slippers as well.

Seriously though, I think it's taken for granted that young, responsible adults like the members of this forum will insist on their partners getting tested for STDs once (if not before) the "exclusive relationship" phase occurs, so that at the very least you know what you're getting (or trying to avoid getting), after which the decision to adopt a non-condom method of contraception is easier to make. Presumably, someone you wish to enter into an "exclusive relationship" with is someone who respects you enough to get these tests, and someone you trust enough to tell you the truth about their past, ongoing, or potential high-risk activites. Else you're probably an idiot for getting into an exclusive relationship with this person (or persons, you new-fangled wild kiddies).

------

Does anyone know what problems there are, scientifically, with the development of a "male" pill? Is there research going on, or are men's reproductive systems too sacrosanct to fiddle with?

14:20 / 05.11.02

Incidentally, I guess I'm more ignorant of female anatomy than I thought, as the words no nerve endings inside the vagina made my eyes pop out of my head. Guess my partners have been faking all those g-spot orgasms.

And I don't think you have to have nerve endings to be made uncomfortable by a Trojan if you ahve a latex allergy. Thank god for Durex.

14:49 / 05.11.02

Semi-aside : do they still make/sell ‘Femidoms’ ? There was a big blaze of hoo-ha around their launch, but now I dunno if they even make them. Anyone ?

DBC

pointless and uncalled for

14:56 / 05.11.02

Yeah. They seem more prevalent in North America than the land of the limeys. Never used on but they look really cling filmey and if possible less sexy than the condom.

15:41 / 05.11.02

I think it's taken for granted that young, responsible adults like the members of this forum will insist on their partners getting tested for STDs once (if not before) the "exclusive relationship" phase occurs

Yep. I've been in a couple of relationships where after a couple of months we had tests before ditching the condoms in favour of the pill. Obviously it's one less thing to worry about if you don't use condoms but I've never found them to be much of a bother, and the mind-bending magnitude of my terror at the thought of ever having children is enough to remove any shred of negativity towards my little rubber pals.

And hey, if they reduce the sensation somewhat, that just means you can last longer ...

(not that that's ever been a problem of course. **cough**)

Tryphena Absent

15:45 / 05.11.02

Microgynon 30 made me gain weight. I went up over a dress size, it was nasty and it didn't make my chest bigger so I just looked like a big fat ironing board.

16:21 / 05.11.02

I keep a small box of condoms around for those rare occasions I get lucky. Rude not to, really.

But what really works for me is industrial quantities of beer. Even if a woman's in love/desperate enough to get into bed with a leering, slurring, gurning drunk, the swim team aren't even going to able to get off the starting blocks ... :-)

The Apple-Picker

16:51 / 05.11.02

Seriously though, I think it's taken for granted that young, responsible adults like the members of this forum will insist on their partners getting tested for STDs once (if not before) the "exclusive relationship" phase occurs.

But testing doesn't catch everything, not the regular testing you get at clinics and stuff. Some things are typically only diagnosed on a visual. If someone doesn't manifest symptoms, or his symptoms are subclinical, he can just as easily pass on whatever he's got.

16:59 / 05.11.02

So what would you do, Apple-Picker?

(BTW, are you in the Hudson Valley?)

Goodness Gracious Meme

17:03 / 05.11.02

"Depends how important penetration is to their sex lives, I guess"

V. Good point... guess I'm making (inaccurate?) presumptions about penetration being the norm/focus for vanilla hetero couples...

am I right or wrong, people?

Also, your point above about many people's pref.s not requiring or being very interested in penetration is a useful one. If condoms are that unbearable, do other stuff instead... if you are into penetration, use barriers (at least. I've had the odd preg. scare, due to not being on the pill, so I haven't that double protection. but as i've said, it's a case of risk assessment/balance for me...)

and er, whisky, no offence but, this:

"Femidoms, the cap, and the various other methods I haven't tried them, but I doubt they can be as convenient."

Comes across as a bit dim; if you haven't tried them, how do you know how convenient they are...

And surely, faced with issues of contraception and STD prevention, the condoms='I don't trust you not to have a STD' implication isn't that important? STDs have *very* variable incubation periods and, for guys engaged in het.pen. sex (how's *that* for an abbreviation.

), there are several for which women are asymptomatic carriers... unless you know you're someone's only partner, doesn't all this stuff come into play? And maybe someone with whom one is in a trusting relationship who is bothered by this precaution-taking needs to sort out their priorities? Isn't the implication of 'i am taking every care of myself and you' a worthwhile thing to have.... If someone I'm doing penentrative stuff isn't v. concerned about this stuff with me, this would worry me as to their previous history etc... think I can cope with the apparent 'lack of trust' thing.

Actually realising that the Pill would be ridiculous in my case, as chances of me remembering to take it are infinitesimal... can barely follow my own cycle...

TMI?

17:22 / 05.11.02

Perhaps also worth acknowledging here (since I waded through a shitload of heavily 'massaged' material for the CBBS 'Condoms & HIV' debacle) that condoms are most protective against a) pregnancy, and b) HIV. Against other STDs, their efficacy is highly variable.

Which is, of course, no reason to avoid 'em if you're practising penetrative sex. Just worth weighing up all the available options...

Whisky Priestess

17:32 / 05.11.02

Sorry kids, I guess I posted before doing my research. Bengali - I haven't tried Femidoms but I do know what an arse condoms are and surely femidoms can, of necessity, not be much better? I know yourdon't need an erection to put them on/in, but there are of course the same problems with not having one to hand when the urge takes you - same problem with caps, plus the joy (hearsay from friends, articles etc. if you want to knowmy sources) of having to dash into the bathroom to insert before the making of the sweet love begins. Any tales to the contrary received wit open ears - I'll try anything once.

Perhaps, Haus, I should also have stated the really, really, really obvious by making it clear that I always make damn sure within exclusive relationships sans barrier methods that neither I nor my partner are carrying the syph. Or that we both are.

W/regard to the nerve endings thing , I swear I'm not a) a freak b) making this up. There aren't any directly on the walls of the vagina - (and a bloody good thing for anyone who has to give birth). There are nerve endings in the flesh surrounding, of course, which is where the physical sensation of penetration is felt. Hard to explain without diagrams but it simply means that if you touch the wall of the vagina it can be felt dimly - as though someone were touching you through a layer of insulation, but not on the actual surface of the skin - it doesn't feel the same as somebody touching your finger, or your cock. Sorry to make it sound so bizarre. I'll see if I can dig up some science to support the above so that nobody jumps down my throat again(and not in a good way)

Of course the best contraception is not to have sex, as we all know, but I'm bored of that one now.

17:34 / 05.11.02

Yup. If someone has a hissy fit about the supposed "lack of trust," they ain't grown-up enough to be doing the thing in the first place.

Page: (1)2