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Tubular Bells?

pointless and uncalled for

12:01 / 29.10.02

I will readily profess my love of mobile/cell phone. I genuinely think that they are one of the greatest inventions of all time.

However, someones phone has just rung to the digitised sound of Tubular Bells. Oh dear god, it's enough to send me spiraling into a violent rage and frankly they are within an inch of having their head ripped off and cast out of the window.

That is an extreme crime for which I would like to reinstate the death penalty.

Apologies for the rant.

w1rebaby

12:03 / 29.10.02

PHONES SHOULD NOT PLAY TUNES

EVER

I challenge anyone to think of an instance where a musical ringtone is even slightly acceptable. Even alone in a soundproofed room.

The Strobe

12:05 / 29.10.02

Single beep. Or at a pinch, a ring. And vibrate.

Anything else... growl. (Unless, of course, it's the Pacman theme. Or Morrissey).

pointless and uncalled for

12:06 / 29.10.02

The other day I did hear a phone playing an audio track that sounded like it was from the opening credits to a manga film. While I was suitably entertained by it I have yet to determine if it should be allowed. On the plus side it was not the usual beep boop rendition but quite tuneful and harmonious. However it was still coming from a phone as a so called ringing tone.

Ethan Hawke

12:12 / 29.10.02

Phones Should NOT play games

What's more annoying than sitting next to someone on the subway whose looking at his tiny, tiny 1.5x1.5 inch screen and playing Arkanoid or whatever? The sound effects, gah!

Eloi Tsabaoth

12:15 / 29.10.02

"Maestro, your latest symphony was divine!"
"Thank you, acolyte, but it is not intended for the orchestra. I hope one day the most memorable 20 seconds of it will be played over and over again, on some kind of tinny, bleepy instrument. In a public place."

Ethan Hawke

12:18 / 29.10.02

Bizunth, funny, but some John Cage wannabe has probably already created and recorded a mobile phone symphony, and it's coming out on Drag City and The Wire is creaming itself over it.

jUne, a sunshiny month

12:20 / 29.10.02

man o man, 2 weeks ago or sumthin, my friends and i were eating in some sandwiches station, and there were a bunch of total jerks playing with their cell. pretty disturbing, at first it remind me the few times i spent in some cpu-stupid-wargames-meeting (you know, the under arms flavor and all...), and after this, the punks decided to show themselves their ring tones.
and you know what ? we got the awesome luck to hear, while trying to quickly finish our fries, such shit like (guess what) "ketchup song" from the 3 "break-my-balls" ketchupettes, but wait ! the younger of all seems to get a cool older bro : his ringtone was "you're my heart, you're my soul" from modern talking ! at this very moment, i felt like humanity is really nothing but shit, but a friend of mine decided to exploding his soda upon our faces as he got a big, big laugh...
end of the tale. sorry for the convenience.

Linus Dunce

12:29 / 29.10.02

John Cage ... as in 4" 33' (I think that was what it was called)? That would be the *only* acceptable ringtone tune.

On a side note, I used to know a couple of guys who, inspired by "Friends", bought some La-Z-Boy-type chairs. If you programmed the three-level vibra-massage just right they made some quite convincing Drum & Bass.

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:32 / 29.10.02

I'm enormously pissed off that my new phone does not have my lovingly-programmed versions of "Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard this One Before" and "How Soon is Now?"..

Back to the quiffy drawing board...

rakehell

22:52 / 29.10.02

There is this.

The Return Of Rothkoid

23:12 / 29.10.02

Or this. But I expect you know about it.

Mine just rings. And that's all they should do. Bastard things.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

06:54 / 30.10.02

Sorry... mine plays Ride of the Valkyries. Sounds slightly less bombastic than I'm used to, though.

You'll all despise me when I get my shit together to get one of those where you can sample stuff. Ace Of Spades intro, anyone?

Tezcatlipoca

07:02 / 30.10.02

...and of course these tones are promoted under the premise that you're not individual unless you have an irritating ring tone...

doglikesparky

07:19 / 30.10.02

that

09:44 / 30.10.02

Star Wars theme, I like that. And I heard someone with the Indiana Jones theme on their phone too, which was also not bad. Other than that - kill. Kill.

I used to have mine set to this submariney sonar noise...that was pretty cool, and not at all annoying, but it was impossible to hear, so now it's back to just a ring.

Linus Dunce

12:51 / 30.10.02

I'd love that. I could say to people, "Give me a ping on my mobile."

rizla mission

13:06 / 30.10.02

You'll all despise me when I get my shit together to get one of those where you can sample stuff. Ace Of Spades intro, anyone?

Now that's a fine idea. I may even be able to bring myself to approve of sampled ringtones .. quite some scope for invention and coolness, (although no doubt 90% of them will end up being recordings of their owners farting or saying "bollocks", thus opening up whole new vistas of extreme irritation..)

pointless and uncalled for

11:12 / 31.10.02

I ask people with annoying ringtones why they don't just have their phone set to ring normally and they explain to me that it's so they can tell their phone apart from everyone elses. Then I laugh at them.

If I feel compelled to ask this and receive the same answer I look at them with silent inquisition as they wait and then proceed to nervously justify this.

w1rebaby

11:39 / 31.10.02

Oh yes - even less forgiveable is when someone has an amusing ringtone, and then leaves their phone on their desk and goes to lunch. You then have to listen to the whole tune at least twice.

I am always the one that cracks and answers it, but if they've locked it in their drawer then they should expect to return from lunch to find me trying to crowbar the lock.

The Strobe

11:58 / 31.10.02

The old Phillips' "Sonar" ring was one of the best I've ever known. It's not irritating, not too high pitched, and just a subtle warning that (for once in your life) someone wants to talk to you.

My old Nokia's "beep" and "ring ring" were leaders in the fields.

Unfortunately, my new Nokia has this dead flash polyphonic ringer, that means it'll play tunes and midifiles... but also means the "beep" is inaudbile and shit, and the "ring ring" is SO high pitched it causes offence. And as for the alarm sound... it's just fucking irritating. (It is a great phone bar these facts, as it holds myriad numbers, me having run out of space in the old one, and helps me keep my life in shape with the rather handy calendar).

_pin

13:24 / 31.10.02

My ring is constant noise, my msg a simple bleep. But it's on silent forhalf my life, so it just vibrates itself.

I did once get a ceedee of possible ring tones when you can sample them (but only cos it seemed cool, not to use it... ) and wouldn't mind getting a phone that had Gilbert & Geroge going "Twisted and aggressive" now...

I'm a wanker, aren't I?

DaveBCooper

14:58 / 31.10.02

I think a few months ago, someone did a piece played entirely on mobiles, and called it ‘the New Ring Cycle’ (for my money the only clever thing about the whole notion). I’d imagine it probably sounded like my old ZX Spectrum used to when it ‘played’ music.

Remember : the longer and more irritating a ringtone is to nearby folks, the longer it takes for the person to answer it.
Beep or trill ? A couple of seconds.
Theme from ‘Up the Elephant and Round the Castle’ ? Three hours.

DBC bah humbug

Warewullf

17:44 / 31.10.02

Uhhh....my ringtone is Tubular Bells......

And I likes it.

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