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The Barbelith Kids & THE MYSTERY OF THE I-95 SNIPER!

 
 
gridley
20:51 / 22.10.02
It was 5:49 in the evening when the Barbelith Kids got a call from the Maryland State Police, asking for their groovy help on yet another unsolvable mystery.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
20:57 / 22.10.02
Quick as a wink, they all buried their dozens of hunting rifles & buttloads of ammunition in the backyard. It just wouldn't look good. They were done by 6:30.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
07:05 / 23.10.02
After a brief hiatus to get their breath back after all that digging, our intrepid heroes fired up the Barbemobile and headed off into what could be their most perilous adventure yet.
 
 
gridley
12:18 / 23.10.02
"Hey, guys!" said Gridley from the back of the computer-filled van, "I've run everything we know about the sniper into the computer to figure out what Colossal Death Robot the sniper would be, and I'm afraid his totem killer robot is Megatron!"
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
12:34 / 23.10.02
All 1360 Barbekids gasped in astonishment from their comfy chairs in the middle section of the surprisingly spacious van.
 
 
William Sack
12:54 / 23.10.02
Well, less of a van than a short bus.
 
 
XXII:X:II = XXX
14:44 / 23.10.02
"And the name 'Mobilith' sounds cooler," Velvetvandal v.2.0 said. "In fact, someone be a dear and reach into the abstraction in the glove compartment and fix it so this romp has less the air of Scooby-Doo and the Bloodhound Gang and instead let's go for, oh I don't know, Cloak & Dagger."

"The Marvel comic?" asked shortfatdyke.

VVV2.0 patted SFD's head chidingly. "No, the one where plans are encoded on an Atari 2600 cartridge and Dabney Coleman is invisible yet somehow real. Yeah, that's the one."
 
 
rizla mission
15:50 / 23.10.02
meanwhile -

"Is that a van over there?" shrieked a nearby rookie cop.

"Not so fast, Ace, that's actually a short bus" replied his more experienced partner, "and it just wouldn't be good for upstanding police officers to be seen hassling the Special Children."

The Barbekids never knew how close they'd come to being shockingly hassled.

As the cops stared forward sternly, a dark figure carrying rifle tiptoed past behind them in a comedic manner and some xylophone music played.
 
 
Mr Tricks
19:22 / 23.10.02
Pointing at the rifle toteing mystery man a young Mr. Tricks gasped "hey isn't that Jesse's Pa from the next story over!!! exhaling a cloud of colored smoke and metawhimsy.
 
 
gridley
21:12 / 23.10.02
Oblivious, Gridley sought the aid of Barbelith's greatest Transformers experts, "Now, Megatron, as I remember, actually transformed into a gun, thus suggesting that perhaps the killer is locked in a process of becoming, perhaps seeing himself evolving towards or into the concept or even physical reality of a weapon, but could Megatron fire himself when he was a giant gun, or did he require someone to fire him?"
 
 
Mr Tricks
23:17 / 23.10.02
In responds Tricky mused "yeah... he was definatly able to fire his own load... unaided."
 
 
The Tower Always Falls
02:04 / 24.10.02
And the laugh track roared, causing guilt in some of the BarbeKids who were familliar with that Harlan Ellison story.
 
 
Mr Tricks
18:39 / 24.10.02
Shutting off the laugh track and turning up the news of the arrest of a potential suspect Tricky asked "Hey, do you think this worked?"
 
 
Jack Fear
19:02 / 24.10.02
Rye roubt it, Ricky.
 
 
w1rebaby
21:31 / 24.10.02
Fingers everywhere itched at the possibility of being able to pull off a rubber mask on live TV... but who would be revealed?

Had the suspect ever owned a fairground?
 
 
The Tower Always Falls
01:30 / 25.10.02
"Jinkies!" Tower Always Falls said.

Everyone looked at him in confusion. "What?" he said. "I haven't been active on the boards long enough for anyone to ascribe a decent fictional personaility to me yet..."
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
04:30 / 25.10.02
"Okay," said Qalyn. "I'm off to help Chief Moose keeps these psychos under lock and key!"

With that, he hopped out of the short bus, whirled his club over his head, cried out,

"Cap-tain Qaa-aa-aa-ly-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yn!"

...and took off into the skies.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:41 / 25.10.02
"Zoinks!" said Stoatie, letting his front of hip revolutionary chic drop for a second, "and to think, he would have got away with it if it hadn't been for those pesky kids and that fucking Moose!"
 
 
XXII:X:II = XXX
14:18 / 25.10.02
I'm sorry; when did our reality get shunted to the last 20 minutes of National Lampoon's Vacation?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
14:31 / 25.10.02
About three days ago.
 
 
Panda.
16:56 / 25.10.02
The sniper escaped, aided by Tom Coates.
 
 
gridley
19:58 / 25.10.02
Evil, evil Tom Coates.
 
  
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