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it's not emotional control that i have a problem with, it's more...self-obligation. i guess procrastination and laziness are part of that. Mr Illmatic said, "Just laziness or habit that keeps me from trying new stuff." that's what this necklace was supposed to help me with.
Mr Illmatic, your comment that i might need to think about how i approach the notion of will was a good one. i had thought that a loss of empathy might be a natural and unavoidable side-effect of added willpower, but it could be that if i had a different concept of willpower, it wouldn't have to be. (although, would some other negative side-effect have to be introduced, i wonder...?)
Perfect Tommy, i think you might be right too, that i should learn from it and take it off. however, i already did this and i find that i've internalized the negative and not the positive. clearly, more work is necessary, but i think i can figure it out. i suspect i should dust off the ol' tarot.
my magick usually ends up granting me success in a way i don't want (one of my first sigil workings was to land me a job, which turned out to be an awful job). however, they are always learning experiences. is this common?
about unconscious use of foci: my personal belief is that everybody is a magician, and those who admit it are usually more self-aware. whether you are tying your left shoe first or closing your eyes and counting to ten when your temper rises, you are performing magick, so you might as well admit it. with regard to foci, some people have a "lucky hat," or a ring that reminds them of someone who exemplifies some quality, etc. most people don't think of that as magick. |
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