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Funny thing about TV: you can forget about your obsessions very quickly when they're not currently showing. Already Six Feet Under has stopped feeling like an actual part of my life and become just something I watched for a bit, the nightmarish memory of Oz is fading - even Buffy sometimes drops off under my radar, so to speak, for short periods of time. When they come back though, *then* you remember how they had you hooked, oh yes, oh boy. Already I am once more a regular Sunday morning worshipper at the temple of Jen Lindley... but I digress.
So, to the point. Farscape's back on BBC2, and I've remembered why I used to care. When I'd heard it had been cancelled with no warning before the end of season 4, I was disappointed, but hardly upset. Then I saw the first episode of the season, 'Crichton Kicks', in which John is alone and drunk and bearded and mad (again, still, as ever - sort of a 6 out of 10 on the John Crichton scale of madness, where 1 is him at the start of the first series, 10 is when he went totally Scorpied-out, and 4 was about where he was at the end of the last series) on a dying Leviathan, until yet another cutesy feisty pixie-ish alien woman dressed for Torture Garden turns up and has weird but unconsummated immediate sexual chemistry with him (how many more times can that happen? answer: lots, as we shall see). She is being chased by some Klingons, who in a very knowing manner have thick Russian accents and are called Klingons by Crichton. Chiarra and Rigel show up (apologies if I'm spelling names phonetically): Rigel is still so irritating that yet again I'm amazed nobody decides to just cap one in his muppet head; Chiarra is still the utter freakin' bomb, except even crazier and alternately inappropriately aggressive/libidinous than ever (a combination of her visions getting more and more painful in a blatant rip from Angel, and the fact that she's been tortured in unthinkable ways over the break between seasons - don't feel bad, Pip, it's happened to everyone on this show). Crichton shaves, shit blows up, Crichton has delusional waking dreams again and is still not really back down to 3 or below on the mad scale. It was good, but not great.
But then tonight I saw the second episode: 'What Was Lost (Part One: Sacrifice)' - how Claremont is that, already? - and cor, but it rocked. Without getting into too much detail, Crichton and Chiarra run into D'Argo and Jool and the mad scary old woman again, who are being archeologists. Why? Fuck knows, except to give the bad guys something to steal and to reveal that WE ARE ALL ONE. The plot becomes totally incomprehensible and involves a fish guy, some ancient race now gone bye-bye, some oh-so-subtle references to "weapons of mass destruction", and equally unsbutle hints that we - humans and all manner of aliens - ARE ALL ONE. Oh yeah, and a completely unimportant cannon fodder archeologist character has weird but unconsummated immediate sexual chemistry with John, just cuz she's female. Tsk.
Anyway, all the above is irrelevant. What matters is that Greza, the new big bad of the Peacekeepers turns up again, and she is so Servalan it's not even funny - that is, if Servalan secreted mind-controlling aphrodisiac pheromones from er, her breasts. I am not making any of this up. Having turned Scorpius mind into swiss cheese and enslaved Bracka with breast-drugs, she sets her sights on Crichton: siccing the Peacekeeper riot-copalikes on the gang (they hurt Pip! boo!), then drugging John (who has already been drugged and mind-fucked by the mad old woman this episode, and will be several times again today, poor lad), offering him Scorpius as his gimp, drugging him again and eventually raping him on a beach. Again, I am not making any of this up. Then mad old woman drugs John *again*, and he throws himself off a cliff. To be continued.
Fucking brilliant.
Second best line of show - Crichton to Greza as she nibbles on his neck: "That's better than what Scorpius used to do."
Best line of show - Bracka to Scorpius just before sticking something very painful into his brain: "This is for all those times you made me say yes."
Hypothesis: all good sci-fi and fantasy tv shows are essential metaphors for pervertsex. |
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