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Sometimes...

Tryphena Absent

14:06 / 26.09.02

I look on a thread here and I find myself asking what are you looking for? Something that somebody's written makes me question why they've posted or why they're telling an intimate detail to the board. Often it's a thing that, if it was mine, I'd keep to myself. Tight to myself, in no way pushing it out to anyone because when there's no defence left it becomes quite scary to be part of any community... whether you can see those people as you talk to them or not. I suppose that those details are interchangeable and that all of us will admit to some things that others would not but still. People. Why do you tell us all about your lives... there must be a reason.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:13 / 26.09.02

Beer.

that

14:19 / 26.09.02

Why I post personal info: probably because I labour under the impression that my misery is the most interesting thing about me. Possibly because the way you learn that you are not a one-off standalone weirdo is by sharing information and finding out that others feel the same way.

The thing about abusive relationships I mentioned in the confessions thread is something that bothers me a lot, and I think I'm never going to quite be able to get right in my head how much of it was my fault, and how much was his, and that matters to me, a lot... the first thing that ever made me feel better about it was one line in an otherwise fairly bad book, 'All She Wanted: the Brandon Teena story ', which made me realise I'm not alone in having that happen... and its sometimes nice, really really comforting and nice to know that you're not alone...

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:24 / 26.09.02

I certainly think that Barbelith provides an interesting combination of (fake)intimacy and (pseudo)anonymity. Much as one can, in Freshers' week, have lengthy and very personal conversations with people which will, by common consent, NEVER be mentioned again.

Admittedly, there are people here who talk about things (in particular, sex, but also drugs, books, comics, travel, music and writing of various kinds) in a way that makes me want never to go near them (the people and things (I still can recall)) again. But that's the risk you take for true Barbintimiacy...

Sax

14:28 / 26.09.02

I think Haus' post should be the mission statement on the front page of Barbelith.

Papess

14:30 / 26.09.02

I second Sax's proposal.

Fucking nailed it

Saint Keggers

15:44 / 26.09.02

Yeah I gotta agree with M.C. for me most of anything vaguely confessional or embaresing that I've said has been under the influence of vast amounts of redwine.
Im here for the stimulating disscussions. And Pirates.

Ganesh

18:52 / 26.09.02

I'm not sure. Partly, I 'give to get'; I talk in a confessional tone in order to encourage others to do the same (I'm a nosey git, both professionally and socially). Partly, I think it's three parts desire for 'arm's length intimacy' to one part desire to impress/entertain/shock. Curiosity, neediness and exhibitionism.

Goodness Gracious Meme

18:56 / 26.09.02

grr. ditto. bastard. now I have no cover.

also, occasionally, because I think it's useful.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

21:01 / 26.09.02

I try to live vicariously through other people's lives so I don't need to do anything in my own. Less pain, less fear of rejection. Everyone's happy, everyone's a winner.

The Return Of Rothkoid

23:18 / 26.09.02

Originally, because of the reasons already mentioned. But more and more, and certainly since I've moved countries, because the people who know and understand me are here, kicking around in oversized fictionsuits.

ceridwen

04:59 / 27.09.02

i've never written much that is very revealing, but i subscribe to the laugh at yerself before others laugh at you theory. somehow complete honesty in all aspects of my life makes me less vulnerable. i am what i am.

why do i post at barbelith? because i've lost/rejected all of my friends recently and i need to reevaluate. this board give me a way to explore myself from the comfort of my own home. i feel free of judgement here because i am anonymous. *shrugs*

ceridwen

05:04 / 27.09.02

i realy felt the need to say the three times. there's conviction for ya. or, you know, my computer is wanky.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:32 / 27.09.02

"Self-disgust is self-obsession, honey"...

That, beer, and what Haus said.

Anyway, howja know we ain't all lying?

We're The Great Old Ones Now

12:24 / 27.09.02

Personal questions? Personal answers? Like what? I lie to you all constantly. My real name is Martina, I'm a professionaly logging consultant, currently posting to Barbelith from a small shanty town in Brazil. My ex-husband Mike lives in Luton and sells inflatable furniture. I've never met Tom and I have a secret girly crush on one poster on this board which I'm never going to own up to.

Actually, that's not true. It's time you knew: I'm a space lizard sent to your community to get as close to David Icke as possible and destroy him before he brings our hegemony down. I always wear sky blue because it's a positive energy colour.

In fact, of course, I'm an American accountant named Susan.

Jack Fear

12:32 / 27.09.02

I have a secret girly crush on one poster on this board which I'm never going to own up to...

Sweetheart, I've always known.

Persephone

12:48 / 27.09.02

Huh, interesting. I don't feel anonymous. If anything, I'm all nomen here. I've never felt like I could let Persephone run about slashing things (not slash-slashing, but you know what I mean), because then that would be Persephone. And then that would be me, because to me a fiction suit's just not a paper suit that you can just crumple up and throw away and get a clean one. I've got rolling around in my head Max Headroom about this...

*lapses into thought*

...nevermind, it won't come together. Certainly anyway Persephone doesn't burst into tears the way P does. But otherwise Barbelith isn't any different than any other interaction for me, I confess the same here as anywhere else. Although Barbelith can be rather ruthlessly made to fit into my schedule, that's probably a big attraction. I guess it is different.

_pin

12:51 / 27.09.02

So I can pretend you care.

telyn

12:56 / 27.09.02

I think ficsuits and people in real life are like two different ends of the same sliding scale. You have more control, but you're still motivitated by the same things. I think the difference is here on lith you can create what you want to be, compared to irl where obstacles constantly get in your way and it's just not possible.

bitchiekittie

13:12 / 27.09.02

because everyone I normally meet (say, on the street, in a club) I growl at and make them run away. people that I am forced to be near (such as coworkers and family), I am very friendly and even warm but always -always - with an arms length planted firmly between us. it is extremely rare for me to find someone Id like to share anything beyond a movie or lunch with, and so beyond light chats about what we picked up at the shop or ate for dinner or argued about with our love interest, I dont express my anger or wants or needs or beliefs or hurt.

I figure, like me or not, you always have the easy opportunity to ignore me. I might find someone to agree with me, or someone might show me another POV. someone might even be a dick about it, but thats ok cause I can ignore them, too.

and I can always leave. wonderful

Tryphena Absent

15:15 / 27.09.02

I suppose I agree with Haus and actually Ceridwen. Sometimes I feel like I've hit the neatest little escape package in the world, probably because out of the 6 friends/acquaintances I have that I actually like 2 also spend a certain amount of time here. It's nice having a place where you don't have to talk to the lame person around the table who is with the people you hang around with.

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