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Confessions thread - it's potlach time...

 
  

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Goodness Gracious Meme
22:35 / 25.09.02
it's been a long time since we had one of these...

Your nasty confessions, board-related or not.

Prompted by lyra's 'who is worse' thread in the Head Shop.

I stand up now and admit that I was once a member of teh Socialist Workers Student Society. Please don't hate me. I thought it had something to do with Socialism, I was young, naive, barely literate...

Actually, hate me, I deserve it.
 
 
Persephone
00:42 / 26.09.02
Pshaw. I was in a sorority.
 
 
Raziel
00:50 / 26.09.02
Socialist Workers Student Society, eh? Well everything that I've done is nice and clean compared to that.
 
 
Cat Chant
07:32 / 26.09.02
When I was a preteen/ young teen, I thought it was clever to think that men were superior to women, since this was one in the eye to received wisdom and made me look like a crazy maverick. (I was at an all-girl's school, so I didn't have to shoehorn this theory into reality much.)
 
 
No star here laces
07:49 / 26.09.02
Ha! When I was 10 I used to walk around clutching a copy of 'the communist manifesto' and lecture my pre-teen friends about the evils of capitalism.

What a horrific child...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:30 / 26.09.02
Never had much time for SWSS...

but maybe that was because I was in

*choke*

The Revolutionary Communist Party.

Please someone kill me.
 
 
jUne, a sunshiny month
08:42 / 26.09.02
so, someone got to kill me, too, CM !
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:45 / 26.09.02
I can see the headlines now- "online community devastated by tragic political-embarrassment-motivated mass suicide"...
 
 
The Natural Way
09:04 / 26.09.02
A real hippy child: was caught atone of my Dad's massive meditation/booze/acid/sex and Vietnam refugee parties playing with the dog shit in the road chanting "Trees! Birds! Flowers!"
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:06 / 26.09.02
runce- that HAS to be the opening line of your memoirs.
 
 
Shortfatdyke
09:06 / 26.09.02
I was in my local youth CND when I was, well, young. Called for non-violent direct action and they didn't like it very much. I joined the Anti-Nazi League when I was about 13, because almost everyone else was openly racist. I got threatened by BNP skinheads outside the school gates, and had my classmates nazi salute at me, for wearing a 'pogo on a nazi' badge. And around the same time I joined the Hunt Sabs but didn't do any sabbing because my mum wouldn't let me.

Actually, I don't think I'm very embarrassed about any of that.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
09:14 / 26.09.02
Stop! This is not 'embarrassing childhood moments'. This is 'confessions of darkness of the heart which are worse than the previous one'.

Like this:

I habitually and almost unthinkingly lead on a friend of mine I will almost certainly never go out with, because she's slim and attractive and it gratifies my ego.

There. Now this is a potlatch.
 
 
that
09:30 / 26.09.02
When I was 12, on holiday in France, I put on a horrible fake 'posh' accent for like a whole two weeks in order to impress the boy (Repton student, father was a land agent, family had an actual NEW CAR as opposed to a second hand one) staying in the apartment next door. The memory still makes me wince.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
09:56 / 26.09.02
I got drunk at my mother's wedding and spit champaigne all over the sidewalk.
 
 
Papess
11:14 / 26.09.02
As a teenager, I actually bought and wore a pair of hot-pink and black striped spandex pants ala, Iron MAiden


*shivers*
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
11:22 / 26.09.02
I used to read the information boards in stately homes aloud. When I was three. Thinking about that still makes my insides scrumple up.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
11:28 / 26.09.02
What are you people, fixated in things which happened before the age of ten? If this is a potlatch thread, then it's about things you need to say about who you are now. It's cathartic, it's scary, it's embarrassing, and it's amazing what comes out.

Otherwise it's just baby pictures.
 
 
William Sack
11:33 / 26.09.02
I gave serious thought to using my grandmother's death and sister's recently collapsed marriage as an excuse to get out of something I was in actual fact simply too lazy to do.

*wince* I guess the confessions work best if left unqualified by any mitigating explanation.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
11:38 / 26.09.02
But in a way that *is* something I need to say about myself now... trying to understand why my tendency towards self-laceration should have quite such lengthy, er, roots (lianas? epiphytes? can't think of the appropriate metaphor here). I don't seem to have levels of self-horror,& I feel just as bad about that as about some of the things I have done since which were far more obviously bad (e.g. shoplifting).
 
 
BioDynamo
11:40 / 26.09.02

I have within the past year realized I am, in my political and social heart of hearts, a leninist.

I am manipulative and scheming.

I don't really think this is embarrassing, rather, it is disgusting and frightening. Revealing this has not cleansed me one bit, in fact, I feel horrible about this.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
11:40 / 26.09.02
This is a bust.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
11:50 / 26.09.02
Oh, come off it, Nick. Most of the posts in the thread are in some way related to political affiliations (and that's how it was started) or socio-political/class-related matters... who is any one of us to say how deep the feeling behind an apprently flippant confession might be? Moreover, I don't notice you making any cathartic, scary, or embarrassing revelations about yourself.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:07 / 26.09.02
I suspect Nick is probably pissed off that we are not talking about grown-up stuff (i.e. sex), so he can then trump us all with confessions of his moral recidivism. I share his frustration, but am not entirely convinced that "I am a LEninist" or "I nearly used the death of a loved one as an excuse to get out of something I just didn't fancy" are really *shit* confessions - they are clearly quite important to the person in question.

What? Oh, shit. Right in the spotlight.

I once sat through the Phantom Menace with someone, and then discussed it at length with them afterwards, for no better reason than that I wanted to screw them.
 
 
Baz Auckland
12:37 / 26.09.02
At times I have been total bastard/slut and worry that that is what I am deep down inside.

Wow. I feel better for having typed it.
 
 
Papess
12:43 / 26.09.02
I am a bastard/slut and I have felt good about it all along.

~MT
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:52 / 26.09.02
I have an Ultra Magnus figure on my bookshelf over there and once, while drunk, photographed him in a slashtastic embrace with Galvatron.

To be fair, I was thirteen.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
12:57 / 26.09.02
He said with pride...
 
 
Tryphena Absent
12:57 / 26.09.02
I have sexual morals.

Oh and I told someone that it was OK to be a member of the labour party the other day. That was shameful.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
13:08 / 26.09.02
Ooookay...

First up, I'm not pissed off (although I do feel somewhat aggrieved now). I was saying this doesn't seem to be one of those times when Barbelith feels the need to purge.

Second, I'm frankly not sad enough to need to 'trump' anyone's moral recidivism, nor do I have much of a sexlife right now to trump it with.

Third, I posted 'this is a bust' when there was nothing on my list of confessions after my own. Since then, it seems to have woken up a bit.

Fourth, the point is that each confession has to be worse than the last. Clearly and appreciably. The grandmother/sister's wedding post should have triggered something rather more revealing than "I'm a Leninist and I don't feel bad about it".

Fifth, as Haus quite rightly realised - though alas, did not specify - these threads have to work a bit like Fight Club - if you post, you have to confess. Not just once, but every time.

So:

I sat through the evening with a paid professional political assassin, hearing his list of kills, admiring his style, drinking his booze and being his greatest fan, because I thought it was cool. Only in the cold light of day did I realise that many of the people he was responsible for executing were men and women whose politics and efforts I should greatly admire.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:19 / 26.09.02
Ahem. Sorry Nick - that wasn't meant as a personal attack, more a sort of acknowledgement that many of the things we feel ashamed about in our adult lives are about sex, and that there is often an odd comingling of pride and shame in our confessions.

Oh, wank. And I have to top "My night with Golgo 13" now. Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks. Possibly "I spent four years at university associating with people whose entire fortunes were based on killing people I admire", but...

OK, got one, sort of.

Once, I effectively allowed myself to be assaulted (getting drunk, walking somebody home late at night, staying in a situation that was giving me the screaming spider-sense), for no better reason that I felt like I had to make some sort of expiatory sacrifice to feel normal again. I could have put the common sense brake on at any time, and I didn't.

Ah, the joy of it.
 
 
Persephone
13:20 / 26.09.02
As a teenager, I actually bought and wore a pair of hot-pink and black striped spandex pants ala, Iron MAiden

LOL! I was a teenager amidst Flashdance, and I wanted, desperately wanted, to wear a sweatshirt with the collar cut off. Only since we were poor, my parents absolutely forbade the vandalism of a perfectly sound article of clothing. So I went around wearing an overlarge purple sweatshirt and pretending Oh What A Feeling...

My ex-best friend of ten years until I stabbed her in the back with a cruel cold knife, as reported in the papers, could tell really funny stories about hilarious ensembles worn during the eighties.
 
 
Papess
13:29 / 26.09.02
Persephone wrote:
My ex-best friend of ten years until I stabbed her in the back with a cruel cold knife, as reported in the papers,...

*look of shock*

Err, was that a confession?

~MT
 
 
Sax
13:34 / 26.09.02
The first girl I lived with, everyone thought we were going to get married. Small-town Northern working-class values and all that.

When I discovered there was a whole world of stuff out there, I wanted out. I tried to talk to her about it, but she dissolved into tears and wouldn't have the discussion, and because I was a nice guy/coward I just let things stroll on.

Until I decided enough was enough. I made several more attempts along the rather weak lines of "I think we should spend some time apart" but there was nothing doing.

So... I hatched a plot to move into a house with my work colleague, some 30 miles away. One lunchtime I drove home, filled my car with as much personal shit as I could, then drove back to work. At 5pm I phoned my partner to say I wasn't coming home.

"Oh, going for a pint with work friends, then?"

"No, I'm not coming home. Ever. I've gone."

Cue quite a large shitstorm. Felt pretty bad for a long long time - even my parents refused to speak to me for about three months.

Ex telephoned my mum and got her to come round while she went bananas, and even got my dad to change the lock on our old house because "she didn't know what I was going to do". That made me feel slightly better, actually, the fact that she'd turned my parents against me.

But I'm a much nicer person now. Honestly.
 
 
Sax
13:35 / 26.09.02
Damn, that doesn't really trump being a mad slasher, does it?

backs off warily from Persephone
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:37 / 26.09.02
(threadrot, brackets, ... , Nick and Haus - you aren't brothers are you? You squabble like you're related.)
 
  

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