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More or less a bastard

21:21 / 24.09.02

Personal experience / confession / pointless agonising over the past time.

Name one situation when you think you should have been more of a bastard/bitch/similar than you were, and one when you should have been less of one. No need to apologise, just say it.

I was thinking about it earlier and I'm not sure I have perfect ones yet, though when I told an ex having a pregnancy scare that she was "a big girl now" and could deal with it on her own might count as the latter.

21:42 / 24.09.02

I should have been more of a bitch when a manager at a former job told all the employees that we should 'remember where we came from' (i.e. out former jobs. I should have been significantly less of one when I accused my mother of using our friend's death as an excuse to force me to shop when we were trying to find something I could wear to the funeral.

21:50 / 24.09.02

More:
Every time I didn't stand up to the bastards/bitches in school way back then. Instead of creating useless snappy comebacks in my mind two hours later.

Less:
Every time I've said something that hurt my mom's feelings. Selfish, mindless rants followed by black remorse. As a teenager I had sort of an excuse (the age, the hormones, what-have-you) but since then? None. Why do the people you love the most, get the most bitching? Anyway it rarely happens anymore but it's still nagging at my conscience.

The Apple-Picker

22:37 / 24.09.02

I should have been more of a bitch, and more of a bitch earlier, to the first person I had sex with. Colluding in my own misery? Going out of style? Uh uh. Not me.

I should have been less of a bitch to my first love: Eileen. Not that she didn't deserve my bitchitude sometimes, but I think I did things the wrong way. She hurt me, so I'd hurt her--that kind of thing. Wrong wrong wrong.

00:54 / 25.09.02

More of a bastard? Probably my entire school career. Instead of just shrugging off all the insults, barbs, and general bullying I should have given as good as I'd gotten.

Less? I really can't think of any period where I should have been less of a bastard. "Hi, I'm Trijhaos, the Human Doormat. Would you like to step all over me?"

10:05 / 25.09.02

My "more" is quite obvious today - I should have been more of a bastard to some of my old housemates so as not to end up paying hundreds or thousands of pounds in bills for them. Particularly the one of whom I repeatedly thought "oh, he has to take care of two kids, he must be short of cash, I'll cover for him until he can manage it" and then, when he skipped out, read his bank statement and found he earned as much as I did and spent it all on clothes, booze and holidays.

I should be less of a bastard when I'm stressed, particularly to my girlfriend who does not deserve it at all.

11:15 / 25.09.02

I should have been an enormous fuck-off chainsaw wielding bitch to the man I thought I'd marry. He was an abusive fuckbake, and I was mostly far too nice to him, during the relationship, and then especially when I got dumped unceremoniously after 2 years. Thing is, I have information that I could still use to fuck him over royally, and I'm not doing it (though I fantasize about it occasionally).

I could often do with being less of a bitch. I should have been less of a bitch every time I said something that hurt someone, when I could've put it a different way or just tried to be more bloody understanding. But I do feel horribly guilty about pretty much everything remotely bitchy I've done, and usually try very hard to make it up to people.

I did one of those online bitchitude tests once, and scored something pathetic like 15% bitch. How depressing.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

11:18 / 25.09.02

I should have been more of a bitch in my apathetic teenage days, especially to the teachers that seemed to think it was okay to give out a substandard qualification because the school had the word 'grammar' in it's title.

I should have been less of a bitch to pretty much everyone since then that I've had a go at based on holding them to much higher standards than I've ever bothered to try and live up to.

11:44 / 25.09.02

I have one incident (out of many) that particularly makes me wish I had been less of a bastard. It makes me wince so much (even now, especially now) when I think about it, for so very very many reasons. Years ago I used to cheat on my then girlfriend, who lived abroad, by periodically fucking - I'm afraid that's the right word - another girl when I was drunk. I used to treat her like shit the morning after sex, rationalising to myself that my being a complete arsehole to her was just an expression of guilt and the loathing I felt towards myself. One morning after I had been particularly nasty to her she stuck up for herself. So I turned to her and said "Cet animal est mechant. Quand on l'attaque il se defend." Jesus, that is excruciating to remember. Also, the French quote was just something I had recently read in a book of quotations, and had made a mental note to use.
So, not just too much of a bastard, but too much of a vicious, unfaithful, self-absorbed, pseudo-intellectual, nasty piece of shit as well.

15:44 / 25.09.02

...everyone since then that I've had a go at based on holding them to much higher standards than I've ever bothered to try and live up to.

Wow, Lada, you just summarized in one single sentence what I've been trying to figure out for the past 10 years. A light just switched on in my mind. Thanks.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:16 / 25.09.02

Yeah, I was just about to quote Lada myself too... that needs to be put on a placque or something.

Should have been more of a bastard- a couple of exes who I refused to believe were the nasty pieces of work all my friends told me they were, and who royally fucked me over for large amounts of cash and destroyed my head completely. (Oh yeah, and fucked a whole bunch of my friends. In the literal sense).

Less of a bastard- pretty much any time I've ever been a bastard, really. God, I have to learn how to time these things...

18:36 / 25.09.02

Today I would like to share with the rest of the class a situation wherein having a classic "gaslight" strategem for making a social show of one's superior level of bastardry by wisecracking to an 8 month pregnant manic-depressive *ahem* can work to one's detriment.

In my humble estimation, it would best be taken under advisement NOT to employ, by way of an introduction, segue or any other social interjection, such memorable comments from the peanut gallery archives as, "Sooo..I guess it's too late to get an abortion then hey?"

Dear me.

Thankfully, the young gentleman in question survived with remarkably few life-threatening injuries to his person. Somewhere along the line however, he also managed to acquire a most curious habit of wedging his unmentionables in the doorjamb everytime the phrase "WHY YOU LITTLE.." was uttered.

Indeed. Perhaps, for the insufferable prat in all of us, LESS *is* MORE.

19:11 / 25.09.02

Hmmm, maybe I should have been more of a bastard/brave today. Walking home through the park in my "rough inner city neighbourhood". I heard someone behind me moving slowly on bike, "Yo", he called out...erm, I thought this is a bit dodgy and walked..."Yo" again...walked on at same pace..."hey, give me twenty pence" said this random lad in a very aggressive way..."give me twenty pence, I'm not a thief"...so I said "sorry, mate" and walked on and was very glad when some people came into view...

...hmmm, so maybe I was too much of a bastard...or maybe not enough...kinda felt a really dodgy situation though...maybe I should just have explained that I am actually a ned and head butted him while laughing at his soft english ways...

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

20:07 / 25.09.02

More of a bastard...that term may mean different things to the two of us, so I'll just say most of high school. All I needed, really, was confidence. Which may or may not be a bastard trait.

Less of a bastard: Shortly before my ex went off to college, we decided to have one last go at it. We were out in the middle of a soccer field fooling around when she looks up at me and says "I think i love you, but I know you're just using me."

I reply "Try not to think about it."

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:02 / 25.09.02

After due consideration I have arrived at the following:

Let B = the optimum level of bastardness given any situation/individual.

Let y = the average level of bastardness: bastardness at rest.

Let x = the actual level of bastardness.

When x < y, then B > x

When x > y, then B < x

21:35 / 25.09.02

Hmmm. I actually understood that one.
*blinking in surprise of self*

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

08:37 / 26.09.02

Johnny O- yeah, you could have been less of a bastard there. But what a great line (if only in a movie or something, where it would be less bastardy than in real life. Unless of course you'd taken it from real life and put it in a movie... oh fuck it.)

Bastardy? Didn't that used to be part of the Habsburg Empire?

10:46 / 26.09.02

Johnny O - I chuckled my head off when I first read that line you used!

Very amusing, although I'm sure it wasn't for the poor girl.