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"feeling good - lesson 1"
well, people who where around around one year ago can maybe remember how full of shit and depressive i was. near my 30 years old, and just got some lazy lazy job, not feeling my "flesh" friends that much around me, owing money to anybody who was cool enough for giving me some, my passions (music, readings, illustrate) were out of mind and didn't inhabited me that much, and, more of it, my +4 years so called loverelation ship was just annihilated courtesy of my ex.
well, i was nothing but empty, a big void.
now ? well, here's how human are just sooooo pieces of shit : i'm feeling good as i never felt, or so. as far as i remember, i haven't been fine for, maybe 15 years.
- i had recover from my broken heart, seing that what really affected me wasn't the loss of somebody, but more of it, seing that all the trust and confidence i got with certain other person (read: the ex) just came back in my face, which was the first time i really got to ask something important and serious about myself and how i was living.
it made me change about loads of things, and helped me "cleaning around my home", moving friends statuts to anothers, and helped make me think that i got to realy think about who i was, for which purpose (if there's some), and how i could make a life which REALLY interest me, a life that i really, truly dig.
- not to forget : as i slowly (surely but), slowly recover from this bad affair, a girl came directly from the other sides of my deepest dreams, with a similar story as i. and far away from my beautifulest wishes, i got positive reaction when i opened my little not-so-fine heart to this girl. what was something who could looks like "we're bad so we'll helping each other" story became something really cool and nice. i'm with this girl for around 10 months by now, and please don't make it stop.
- the finest stuff : this girl is a very talented illustrator (not the software, uh), pretty girl with loads of cool and greats books and comics (which add an extra bonus point to my eyes, as you could guess), she got strongs skills into 2d-3d cgi (well, she's not using macs, but nobody's perfect, uh), she's involved with earth, animals saves, many great things which reminds me that i could spent my time to other things than write stupid stuff about platypus, Tom Coates and Pin's love triangle.
since "her", i'm a lot into many more things in which i feel myself.
- i finally quit my job as the responsible (well, we were 3...) for doing the ads in a local newspaper, even if at last it gaves me money.
i now get some big helps from french government stupid laws for people in unemployment, which helps me to not panic for at least 2 years (yeah, france isn't that bad sometimes), with correct money falling into my bank holes each and every months.
i'm not this idle, slothful that much (not anymore, at last), so i'm working on different projects in advertising, sometimes with Sandrine (it's "her"), cool enough for makin some extra money.
- cleaning my human environment helped me also to find new directions. as a breakbeat lover (downtempo, hip hop, drum'n'bass...), and dj'ing for years in my little tiny eastern france town, i finally decided to use my experience in some parisian labels i used to work a few years ago to create a brand new label with some of my friends involved with music too. as all of them are tryly passionnate too, it creates some energy and some dynamic twist that is really cool to live through.
- and when nothing's work, well, at least there's always your pals on the lith. which is one of the best medecine i ever found anywhere...
hell, it's a pretty boring and long post, but WellBanshee asked for it, uh !?  |
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