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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

The Anna Nicole Smith Show: Dude, what the fuck

  
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
16:15 / 16.09.02
I don't get this show. Help me figure it out...

Here we have Anna Nicole Smith, an attractive young lady who married an old, old man and inherited his fabulous wealth when he died not too long after the marriage. I'm not going to comment on whether or not what she did is right or wrong because it's not important to the thread, and I don't really give a damn anyway.

So she pops up a few years after the old man dies with a television show on E! which consists of, as far as I can tell, her getting drunk with her friends and basically hanging out and having fun being decadent. E! has described it as "Funny, although unintentionally so". It should be noted that Ms. Smith has gained some weight since we all last saw her. And by "some weight" I mean "a good bit of weight".

I don't know what to think of her or her show. First off, what's with the weight gain? I have nothing against anyone's body shape, but I'm curious. You would think someone who spent some years being a nude model would be hesitant to go on camera after apparently eating an entire horse for breakfast. Maybe she just likes being a bigger woman. If this is true, then I have to give her some respect, because she has to know that everyone is going to say something about it. One of the shows had her walking through a casino when someone (a random casino patron, I think) practically yelled "look how big she's gotten!". She laughed it off. Which was cool.

So I read in the newspaper that on the first show, she carried around the urn with her late husband's ashes as she made a tour of her house. This I'm not sure of. Again, I don't care if she did marry her husband for his money. I have nothing against prostitution at all. But the family of the man she married, who tried to keep her from the inheritance, was incredibly insulted by her carrying the urn around on camera. They felt she was almost gloating. Which is definately not cool. I'm not sure what the point of the urn was, but it could have been a number of things, and a lot of them are very disrespectful.

Watching the show, I find myself thinking "What am I supposed to think about this show? What do they want me to think? Am I supposed to be laughing at her or with her? Or simply marveling at her decadence?"

If I'm supposed to be laughing at her, is she aware that that's the point of the show? If not, she's an ignorant cow being used by E!, if she is...what? Does that make her cool? Not really, but if she's aware of it and let's it go on anyway, that speaks of an unattachment to popular opinion which can be seen as respectable.

The second option, the decadence one, makes me wonder how the show got started. I'm honestly willing to wager that one night she was really wasted and her friends were like "hey, with your fame (or infamy) and assloads of cash, I bet you could get a show going just about us getting fucked up and having fun and shit" and she gave it a shot. If this or a similar scenario (basically her just wanting a show and using her money and fame to get one) is the case, then...what? Does that make her cool? Sort of, in a "I'm doing this because I can! I don't care that I'm fat, you all will watch me anyway because there's nothing else on, and I'm fucking rich enough to just have a show for myself and my friends" kind of way.

I'm putting my money on the second option. And I think most people will too, and the fact that we don't care (and indeed, the very existence of the show itself) says something about the values we place in our television shows, but I'll be damned if I know what it is.

Anna Nicole Smith: decadent whore on a power trip, or an ignorant cow being used by the E! television network? Or something else entirely?
 
 
The Tower Always Falls
01:20 / 17.09.02
heh. Just from what I've heard of the show (never watched it and never will unless someone Clockwork Oarnge's me into it...) it sounds like the Faces of Death of reality television shows. Imitators of The Osbournes were inevitable, but Ozzy is at least a lovable goof on camera. Anna is just some painkiller hoped up third tier celebrity who's chomping violently at the fish hook one last time, not noticing that her jaws have been torn to shreds from the last few bites.
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
02:17 / 17.09.02
I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I watch this show. It's hard to say that I LIKE it, but I watch it. It has the appeal of "She may be famous, but she's still white trash," and giving you a glimse into the world of the no-talent celebrity.

The inter-personal relationships of the people in the show are beyond dysfunctional, Anna herself is either messed up on painkillers all the time or one of the dumbest people on the planet.

And yes, all of us involved are being exploited. But I watch it in perverse fascination and feel vaguely ashamed when it's over.
 
 
Margin Walker
03:55 / 17.09.02
I don't have cable and have never seen it, but it seems to have that "Pink Flamingos--but REAL" thang going on. I will say this though: I feel really bad for her son. Parents are bad enough, but it's even worse if 1) you only have one 'rent & 2) she/he acts like they're six years old. Sad, sad, sad....
 
 
Trijhaos
10:07 / 17.09.02
I watch five minutes of it and had to turn it off. I was offended by that woman's vapidness. It's people like her who give blonde's a reuputation for being dumber than a stump. The woman's very voice annoyed me. It was far too high and girlish. I thought there might have been a little six year old on the screen, but when I turned to the TV, all I saw was a blonde woman and her little menagerie. She's really let herself go. She wasn't all that attractive to begin with, but now she's just hideous.

Watching this show is like a trainwreck. Most people want to turn away out of horror, but they can't. They want to see what next stupid thing that vapid bit of white trash will do next.
 
 
videodrome
12:44 / 17.09.02
I saw about ten minutes of this a couple nights ago - noticed it when flipping past and had to take a look, but that was all I could stand. It was not funny in a way that things are rarely not funny. Like the time when Uncle Eddie learned he had terminal cancer and came over for dinner and hit on your mom before going upstairs and getting into her makeup only to pass out on your parents' bed, unmovable. Unfunny like that.

2) she/he acts like they're six years old.

Even worse - when she acts like a six-year old stripper.

I wonder if the intended comedy is supposed to be in trying figure out if she's aware of what's going on. Has she always been a pharmacy, or does she need all those painkillers to get through the taping of the show every week? Is she that desperate for fame and cash?
 
 
Sebastian
16:29 / 17.09.02
Johny wrote: Anna Nicole Smith: decadent whore on a power trip, or an ignorant cow being used by the E! television network?

How about Anna Nicole Smith: decadent whore and ignorant cow on a power trip being used by the E! television network?
 
 
Jack Fear
19:16 / 17.09.02
"Decadent whore" or "ignorant cow". Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

That these are the only two choices tells me something. But not necessarily about the show.
 
 
reFLUX
19:18 / 17.09.02
she's probably just doing it for attention and to up her profile.
 
 
The Strobe
07:16 / 18.09.02
I know it's amazing what they can do with underwiring now, Varis, but I don't think her profile can be upped much more.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
12:19 / 18.09.02
"Decadent whore" or "ignorant cow". Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Hey, I'm willing to look at other sides of the story, but I'm having trouble finding them. You don't like 'em, then by god give me some more ideas. That's why I started the thread.
 
 
betty woo
12:29 / 18.09.02
"Just bright enough to know that few people are interested in watching a smart, together person - but they'll pay good money to stare at a train wreck".

People already seem to think of her as a prostitute and a fool, so it's not like she's got anything to lose by playing into those stereotypes - and a whole bunch of money to be made, apparently.
 
 
Ethan Hawke
12:58 / 18.09.02
If this journal entry is to be believed (and IMHO it has the stink of honesty), it's not an act at all.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
18:34 / 18.09.02
"First off, what's with the weight gain? I have nothing against anyone's body shape, but I'm curious. You would think someone who spent some years being a nude model would be hesitant to go on camera after apparently eating an entire horse for breakfast."

Pass the ammunition, Jack Fear.
 
 
Jack Fear
18:39 / 18.09.02
Why waste a bullet, when he keeps taking more rope?
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
21:45 / 18.09.02
Would it kill either of you to contribute some new ideas rather than just make clever remarks? God knows I respect the opinions of both of you, but for christ's sake gimme something to work with here. I find it hard to believe that all either of you have to say is "you're being insensitive."

The whole point of this thread is to get new ideas on how to look at the show and Smith herself. I posted mine. I asked for more. If you think they suck ass, by all means say so. But add some of your own, dammit.

And I am curious about her weight gain. Do you all seriously find nothing odd about a woman who, I think we can all agree, made her living by adhering as closely as possible to society's view of a sexy woman and then goes on camera after having gained a good deal of weight? Has she viewed her body all these years as simply a means to an end, and now that she has everything she wanted, why bother with all the work of keeping that shape? Has she developed an eating disorder? Or, as I noted earlier, maybe she just likes being a bigger woman than what she was. I think it would be kinda cool if she had enough confidence to put up with all the jokes that people are already making about her (on television, no less). That sort of confidence is respectable, no matter what else she's done.

Normally, it would all be none of my buisness. But the woman has decided to make a show about her life, so why the hell should I not be curious?
 
 
videodrome
00:51 / 19.09.02
But the woman has decided to make a show about her life, so why the hell should I not be curious?

Because that is how they want you to think about this. You ask for a new way to look at the show, so here's a suggestion: don't. The show fits the definition of pornography more closely than anything she's done in the past. There's nothing in this show worth watching. If you've seen a few minutes you know it's a train wreck, you know there's no joke to be revealed, no curtain lifted. Change the channel. This isn't John Waters, simultaneously exploiting and celebrating the undercurrents of human behaviour. It's mind numbing manipulation pure and simple, exisiting only as filler between commercials. Just because this woman has been manipulated into displaying the sad wreck that is her life doesn't mean you have to watch it.

As for the 'issue' of her weight, I say the show hangs on that more than anything else. Would this even be a show if she weren't larger than she used to be? I doubt it, because that's the first fucking thing people mention. Look at her, the cow! She's really let herself go... as they sit on their second-hand sofas littered with the crumbs of a thousand crisps. ANS was never a small girl. That was always the thing that made her a striking model in the first place, especially in the early 90's when Guess! was using her. And hey! look! she's older now. People who are larger than normal (whatever the fuck that is) to begin with often get more so as they age. Given that she was probably on an unnaturally strict diet when modelling I'd venture a guess that this is closer to her natural state than she's been in a long time. And hell, the ten minutes of the show I saw told me that she's likely using depressants or barbs of some kind and she definitely has problems with self-confidence and control, so yeah, she's bigger now. So fucking what.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
17:28 / 20.09.02
Just because this woman has been manipulated into displaying the sad wreck that is her life doesn't mean you have to watch it.

Understood. However, I did see it, and want to figure out what the hell is going on, both at E! and in ANS's head.

And hell, the ten minutes of the show I saw told me that she's likely using depressants or barbs of some kind and she definitely has problems with self-confidence and control, so yeah, she's bigger now. So fucking what.

Alright. Thank you. That's all I wanted. Christ...

"Why the hell should I not be curious?"

Because that is how they want you to think about this. You ask for a new way to look at the show, so here's a suggestion: don't. The show fits the definition of pornography more closely than anything she's done in the past. There's nothing in this show worth watching. If you've seen a few minutes you know it's a train wreck, you know there's no joke to be revealed, no curtain lifted. Change the channel. This isn't John Waters, simultaneously exploiting and celebrating the undercurrents of human behaviour. It's mind numbing manipulation pure and simple, exisiting only as filler between commercials.

This is half the shows on television today. None of the above are adequate reasons for keeping my curiousity to myself. And "because that is what they want you to think about it" doesn't really change a thing. I just feel curious. And if that's how E! wanted me to feel, so the fuck what? So I fell into their little game. I'm not going to apologize or feel ashamed because I'm curious.

So here we are. The picture of what's really going on is still fuzzy, although on the whole it has a really sad element that I didn't notice before I started this thread.
 
 
videodrome
18:06 / 20.09.02
This is half the shows on television today.

Agreed. That's why my mind boggles when I see or hear people talking about American Idol, or come across a six-page thread on Big Fucking Brother. Having been exposed to a few minutes of each of those, I have to say that I just don't get it. So, curious re: asking "what the hell is this show, anyway, and what does it mean?" = yes. Curious re: "wow, this is a trainwreck. Honey, set the VCR." = No.

As I've said in other threads, my exposure to most new television shows is limited to what I stumble across as I flip between baseball games and The Simpsons. There's no question that I'm (arguably) quite the snob about television, but I really just don't see the entertainment value in 90% of what's out there. As a result I might miss 6 of the remaining 10% (what I figure remains when baseball and The Simpsons is taken away) but I'm pretty happy with that. There's more good movies available on video than I'll ever be able to watch, so if I miss out on Buffy or whatever as a result, I'm fine with that.

The sad qualities you, I and others have mentioned in the ANSS pervade most television, but seem to have been potently concentrated in this particular show.
 
 
000
22:12 / 02.12.02
@Anna Nicole Smith: decadent whore on a power trip, or an ignorant cow being used by the E! television network? Or something else entirely?@

I lost my Anna Nicole Show virginity tonight. She went househunting, went to a Guess party and seemed as though she was in danger of ODing of a drug combination, and she acted really, really slutty. But most of the way through, I noticed that the white in her eyes was rather clear, a little bit shiny, perhaps, but clear nonetheless. And the 'outrageous' 'real-life' moments were interrupted with her explaining to the camera what had occurred, or what was occurring, sans make-up. Where she seemed not as fucked-up.

It's a fucking act.

@Imitators of The Osbournes were inevitable, but Ozzy is at least a lovable goof on camera. Anna is just some painkiller hoped up third tier celebrity who's chomping violently at the fish hook one last time@

I have only seen a couple of The Osbournes but Ozzy always seems as if he is on a lethal drug combination, just without the ambience of an act evident in ANS, and in my mind, concluding from a lacking overview of both shows, I can understand why ANS won't prove to be as popular as The Osbournes: The latter is about family, and although there are moments of 'outrageousness' involved, it is ultimately just that, and ANS is about 'decadence' for the sake of it.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
20:37 / 03.12.02
So is Ozzy a whore now, or a cow? Who's gonna tell Mrs. Ozzy?
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
21:58 / 03.12.02
I saw both this and The Osbournes for the first time last week, while at my parents' house, and I am once again reminded why I am more than happy to live w/o television.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
15:37 / 04.12.02
"Decadent whore" or "ignorant cow". Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

That these are the only two choices tells me something. But not necessarily about the show.

And dammit, those weren't the only two choices. Granted, I should have mentioned that earlier before losing my temper, but next time please read what is there before getting all clever on me. I want your opinion. I really do, I promise. I don't want or need you posting for the sole purpose of cleverly pointing out how insensitive I am, especially when you apparently haven't even given me the respect of reading the damn post anyway.

Righty-o, then. Back to the topic.

...I can understand why ANS won't prove to be as popular as The Osbournes: The latter is about family, and although there are moments of 'outrageousness' involved, it is ultimately just that, and ANS is about 'decadence' for the sake of it.

That was my general take on it after repeated viewing as well. So now the question is what does this say about E! and television in general? To air a show of this nature has to say something about the nature of the values of E! and the audience that watches it.

So is Ozzy a whore now, or a cow? Who's gonna tell Mrs. Ozzy?

See, here's the thing. I love Ozzy. I like the show, and I honestly feel that he and his wife are far more honest on the show than ANS on hers or even Ozzy's kids on theirs, because

1. Ozzy appears far too disoriented/stupid to really bother with any of it anyway.

2. There are scenes of Ozzy humiliating himself through acting like an old fogey or a disoriented fuck that has ingested far too many drugs and booze than is good for the human brain.

3. Ozzy and Sharon are far more used to being celebrities and having cameras following their every move, and maybe do not feel any need to act like anything other than themselves.

On shows like The Real World, I always get the impression that everyone's acting like they're on television. I do not get this from the Osbournes, at least not from Ozzy and Sharon. They don't want or need fame and money, because they have assloads of both and have had them for years.
 
 
that
16:27 / 04.12.02
Johnny AWOL: body fascist and misogynist. There's probably a show in that, too.
 
  
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