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Is Bush real?

00:53 / 12.09.02

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. It's literally something out of a Frank Miller comic.

I made the mistake tonight of watching various 9/11 shows, which seem to strive equally for catharsis and mind control. The finale was Bush's address from Ellis Island. His live address.

There was no audience. He was lit to contrast strongly with the skyline and the harbor.

It skipped. He was stepping up to the podium and it skipped -- at least a second.

Is Bush real? And, what the hell was he talking about?

Harold Washington died for you

05:06 / 12.09.02

Deep within the abandoned buildings of nearby Camp Hero on Montauk Point, NY, lies the answer.

The "undisclosed location" of recent myth and legend, Vice Prez Cheney was working til the last minute with the dimension-shifting machinery sent there after the infamous Philadelphia Experiment.

He planned to use the technology to summon hoary Nightgaunts and command them to kidnap 43 on live TV in front of the whole world. Of course Saddam was to be blamed. A brief series of unspeakable inquisitions would follow, until the Mighty Empire of America held the globe in its blood-stained gauntlet.

The Cheney-beast would reveal its true face, the severed head of Kofi Annan in its tentacular maw. R'lyeh would rise from the depths and the requisite ten thousand years of darkness with it.

Luckily the plan failed for unknown reasons, prossibly a dirty mouse ball. The massive warping of space and time only caused the "skip" you noticed. All is well...for now.

Harold Washington died for you

06:53 / 12.09.02

Eh sorry about that. Live TV is not really live live. It often has a five or ten second delay. I am guessing there was some problem and it got taped into the delay.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

07:19 / 12.09.02

What the hell is a 'dirty mouse ball'?

08:35 / 12.09.02

It often has a five or ten second delay.

Is that like on phone-in shows, in case Bush swears unexpectedly? Or maybe they're trying to edit out some of the misspeakings.

11:18 / 12.09.02

More likely it's in case he suddenly gets Little George out and ejaculates on the audience, like that Brass Eye sketch.

11:52 / 12.09.02

What the hell is a 'dirty mouse ball'?

The ball in the mouse can get dirty, causing the mouse to malfunction and the cursor to go astray. Hence, you think you're one click away from destroying civilisation as we know it and then suddenly its back to square one. The best laid plans of mice and men and all that, is basically what ze's saying.

12:22 / 12.09.02

Is that like on phone-in shows, in case Bush swears unexpectedly?

Which is not entirely unbelievable, if you watched any of the 60 Minutes II interview with members of the administration that preceded the address, where they recounted Bush's reactions to the events of 9/11/01 (11/9/01 to you backwards euro types).

02:44 / 13.09.02

Eh sorry about that. Live TV is not really live live. It often has a five or ten second delay. I am guessing there was some problem and it got taped into the delay

Sure. Be logical. It will not help you when they are beaming BushPro '08 into your brain.

Okay, I was struck last night when Bush blinked from beside the podium to behind the podium, but this's a frivolous thread. Sorry.

16:10 / 13.09.02

Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post ran a series of stories about this in the first few months of the presidency - accompanied by photos of the president in *identical* poses in different places. Eerie stuff.