5. Intentionometer
"Hang on, what did he mean by "hello?", exactly?"
A device for revealing a person's true intentions. Removes uncertainty, corrects misinterpretations, kills paranoia. Consists of contact lenses, hearing 'aid' and voice in head, which, working on information passing through said devices, tells you whether or not you should take X at face value and, if not, how it should be interpreted. Most common uses will be to determine whether or not someone is taking the piss, is a threat, thinks they're better than you, or fancies you. Deals mostly with speech and body language but will also work on artefacts, text, performances etc.
Can be adjusted to give as much or as little detail as required, to report on one particular type of potential 'threat', or give info in visual form, so you can walk up the road and see the people around you coloured in, outlined or labelled according to a given code of intention (physical threats in various shades of red, for instance). Concentrate on one for more than a few seconds and receive a more detailed report.
Universal use of this will eliminate 99% of all small-scale conflicts and at least 50% of pointless discussion about art. |
