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Cutting one's own hair

 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
17:40 / 04.09.02
OK, a while back I got one of those big hair-cuttin' electric razors on the grounds it was stupid to pay a shop for ten, fifteen minutes work and I quite fancied the idea of looking like a Fight Club space monkey. However, I was a bit put off by the instructions which were kinda 'position your head thus, then get someone else to move the razor thus...' which is not that helpful when you live on your own. As a result, while it didn't come out sitcom, it did look rather untidy.

So, I'm asking for the advice of people more experienced than me. I'm currently not intending to cut it all off, just short. Anyone got suggestions so I can avoid making a total Blair of my hair?
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
17:59 / 04.09.02
I cut my own hair, but really it's just me using two mirrors and making all the hair that hangs down to my collar get into a straight line. The only hard part is keeping a steady hand and the whole doing everything backwards (you know, 'cause of the mirrors and the reversed image and all).
 
 
gridley
18:08 / 04.09.02
I do it all the time and I don't even use a mirror.

My basic approach is do each patch of hair three times (preferably from three different angles). This means that even if you mess up a patch twice, you're bound to get it a third time. And since I'm not worried about doing it perfectly on any one pass, each pass tends to go pretty fast. I usually do it while watching tv and it doesn't seem to take longer than ten-twenty minutes.
 
 
Grey Area
18:10 / 04.09.02
If all you want is a "#3 all over"-type cut, I find it's best to dispense with the mirror initially and do it by feel. Be systematic, shaving overlapping strips until you've covered every inch of head-acreage. Then break out the mirror and locate the inevitable furrows and individual hairs that stand out like flagpoles on the taiga. Individual hairs are best dealt with using scissors.

...I'll be doing this tomorrow morning, so if you mess up and I mess up we can start the Barbelith Hair Club or something.

Next week: How to get your sideburns the same length
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
18:11 / 04.09.02
Johnny, use more mirrors.

Lada, I used to use a belt to get the line on the back of the neck straight -- put the belt against the back and shave off everything under it. As for the layering they tell you how to do in the instructions, I have no idea how to do that yourself -- I always went for a uniform length.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
18:12 / 04.09.02
Do they still sell flo-bees?
 
 
Grey Area
18:21 / 04.09.02
What is a flo-bee?
(bizarre visual of bumble-bee spliced into electrical current floating around mind right now)
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
18:26 / 04.09.02
It was a hair cutting device attached to a vaccuum cleaner. Your hair is vacced into a tube, cut to a uniform length, and the cuttings sucked away. It was big on the latenite infomercial circuit, before the Egg Wave and the George Foreman Grill.
 
 
Grey Area
18:34 / 04.09.02
...is there anything they haven't tried to sell on infomercial tv? This is why I dumped my television two years ago.
 
 
kid coagulant
18:46 / 04.09.02
'FLOWBEE - The Precision Home Haircutting System

PROFESSIONAL STYLE HAIRCUTS AT A FRACTION OF THE COST WITH FLOWBEE

Save hundreds of dollars a year in haircuts with Flowbee, the haircutting system that will give you a perfect, fast, clean, precise layered haircut every time!'

http://www.smdistributor.com/health_beauty/flowbee.htm
 
 
Monkeyzilla Vs Tokyo
19:33 / 04.09.02
I always cut my own hair, I cut it when the spirit moves me. I just grab chunks of hair and cut..I dont care about a little uneveness because it looks more natural that way, but I have my roomate help me with the back and any big boo boos. *side note* Do not allow your friend to help you fix your hair when you are under the influence of hallucinogens. I ended up looking like a boy that time..
 
 
Jack Fear
19:53 / 04.09.02
What everybody else said, really.

I cut my own with an old Oster electric razor and two mirrors, every other Saturday morning, in the bathroom, naked and with newspapers on the floor and over the basin. One uniform length (quarter-inch, to be precise): I use a beard trimmer for the tight spots around the ears, cos the head of the Oster is about 3 inches across.

The back of the head is the hardest part--getting a straight neckline and matching the taper from the back of the ears, behind the jaw, to the nape. Haven't heard the belt trick, and I don't think I'll try it--you can see all the embarrassing possibilities, I'm sure.

You'll get it eventually, with practice.

For the moment, though, buy a good hat.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
09:53 / 05.09.02
'Buy a hat'? What do you think I am, one of the Alabama 3?

Still, thanks for the advice. Next week? What's the best way to polish my boots?
 
 
Jack Fear
11:42 / 05.09.02
Mayonnaise and sheep's fleece. Next?
 
 
Lullaboozler
11:42 / 05.09.02
Boot polishing:

Well, if you want the 'parade ground' black mirror effect you have to dispense with the brush altogehter and spend hours working the polish in with a cloth swathed single digit and plenty of spit: spit on the toecap, then apply polish in a small circular motion until it is all worked in. Continue process for what feels like an eternity of smudged toecaps until, miraculously the polish actually starts to shine of its own accord.

Oh, and don't lick the cloth to apply spit - the polish is mildy carcinogenic.

*too long in air cadets as a teenanger
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
11:53 / 05.09.02
It is well known that the shiniest hessian boots are polished with a secret formula, known only to one's valet, but which is rumoured to contain champagne...
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
21:41 / 05.09.02
The "shaving from three angles" advice is a good bit to follow. One's hair grows from different directions and it doesn't always get lopped off the same from shaving all in the same direction. It takes a bit of trial and error to get used to the way your hair grows. Until then, definitely check your head out afterwards from all angles. It's really easy to think you're nice and well-shorn, only to run your hand over your scalp whilst in public and discover a huge and unsightly patch of long hair. Trust me here.
 
 
Bad Horse
11:59 / 06.09.02
I have a big dent in the top rear part of my head (incedental comment: I oveheard two nurses in casualty the other day and one says 'what's this bit of your head called?' The other replies 'the top!'. 'no I mean if this is occipital and this is temporal what's this?', 'no it's still just called the top.') and no hairdresser has ever got it right, I always have a tuft and look like I have cut it myself, badly. Now I do cut it myself and if I run the clippers accross it eight or nine times in diferent directions it looks OK. I just guess the neck line and no one ever comments.

Good one Lullaboozler. What a way to waste a few evenings, I don't think I will ever get the tip of my forefinger the same colour as the rest again. I find warm water is better than actual spit though.
 
 
Saveloy
12:02 / 06.09.02
Everyone knows the best way to polish your boots is to apply a thick coat of gloss varnish. No fuss, no bother, no need to polish them ever again.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
17:40 / 06.09.02
Johnny, use more mirrors.

I only have two hands, which means one hand with the scissors, one with a small mirror, and a mirror on the bathroom wall. Or is this a subtle criticism of the way I wear my hair?
 
 
Jack Fear
17:42 / 06.09.02
Scissors?!?

See, now there's your problem right there.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
17:53 / 06.09.02
Johnny, it sounds like you have enough mirrors, but you're not using them right. Face the bathroom mirror, hold the hand mirror behind your head and look at the back of your head, reflected in the hand mirror, in the reflected in the handmirror reflection of the bathroom mirror ... is that right? Anyway, you shouldn't backward any more -- just very far away.

Lullaboozler, your shoe-polishing ritual has me all nipply.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
18:36 / 06.09.02
Jack: Ah, but the title of the thread is "Cutting your own hair" not "clipping your own hair". What's with all this talk on using electric clippers with gaurds and whatnot? Are we so technologically dependent these days that we can no longer even use the same scissors we used in grade school to make shitty christmas cards for our mothers? I say to you, men, To use clippers, all you need is a meaty fist. To use scissors, you need fingers, plenty of 'em, not to mention control, patience, and most importantly of all, finesse. We are not apes!

...besides, when your hair is long enough to pull it all into a ponytail, clippers are useless. Which I guess I could have mentioned earlier.

Qualyn: That makes sense. It's a real pain in the ass doing it the other way (but still better than paying seventeen bucks at a salon or something). Thanks.

Next up: Trimming your own body hair! I encourage all men to shave their armpits at least once, just to see how you like it. You may be surprised. No more of that annoying little drip of sweat down the side of your torso, it doesn't smell as bad, keeps you cooler...almost as if all that hair just retains moisture for the sole purpose of making your day worse.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
18:43 / 06.09.02
You're welcome, Johnny. I am doughty, with many skills.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:37 / 07.09.02
Back when I had my old mohawk I used to to my own shaving. With a Bic.

I'm that 'ard, me. That 'ard.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
12:02 / 07.09.02
Sorry Johnny, but I personally can't use scissors ever since Grant started his run on Doom Patrol. Even know the sight of them brings me out in a cold sweat and a rash. Even just typing the word makes me need to go and lie down in a dark room...
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
07:48 / 09.11.02
Well, I did the deed last night... just wanted to explain why I won't be seeing any of you now for the next six months... actually I'm now just off to join the marines... I think the 'length guide' in the leaflet I got was wrong, I was going for a 'still quite arty and floppy haired' grade 4 and seem to have come out with a 'shorter than intended' grade 2. Anyone who's seen the Far Side cartoon where the young sheep arrives at his girlfriends house to pick her up and the caption is "Here comes Luane, oh Luane, Bobby's here, and he just got sheared today!" will have an idea of where I'm at.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
09:52 / 09.11.02
Oooh, sounds like an unfortunate case of blade - folicle interface dysfunction. However there is still the possibility of a rescue. In grade two status you are perfectly placed to move to the "Patterned Hair" option. Although you are beyond the realms of "arty & floppy haired" this choice can take you from "military grunt" and land you squarely in "cooledgeyartyninja".
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
10:51 / 09.11.02
It's not quite that bad, just shorter than I intended...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:06 / 09.11.02
I actually and truly have a personal professional hairdresser.

Now, that's gonna seem weird to people who've met me.

Believe me, it sounds weirder to ME.

But it's true!

(Though when I let slip the fact that I was planning on growing a mullet for comedy reasons a while back, she DID wait until I was pissed and give me a haircut which made such an ambition unattainable...)

Funniest thing is, she's never seen Bagpuss.
 
 
gergsnickle
14:11 / 09.11.02
It's only the first time that's tough. After that you realize no one cares if you look like a mental patient. I just shave away with a 3 or 4 in every direction 3 or 4 times and then inevitably have to come back later and fix the tiny parts I've missed. If we're not talking clippers here, I would have to resort to a razor; I'm a hopeless left-hander with scissors.

After some haircuts I've ended up with, I'm much happier doing my own.
 
 
Teppichkind
14:55 / 12.03.08
i cut my hair myself too, but as it is not too straight (not really curly too, but curly enough) it doesn't matter too much how even it is. i cut my hair rather short (short on the sides and the back, longer on top of the head, more or less a 'normal' haircut for guys.)

i just take a lock, with one hand and then cut about 2,5 to 3 centimeters from my head on the sides. that works fine. it's more learning by doing, im afraid...
 
 
grant
13:57 / 13.03.08
go to pet store.

Get pet grooming clipper attachments. The 3/4" and 1 1/2" ones do me for sides & top.
 
  
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