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"Due to the effects of September 11..."

 
 
Not Here Still
13:59 / 05.01.02
So, what is sexy after 9/11? The Onion finds out...

As usual, however, the Onion's satire hits home. I'm amazed at the amount of stuff that I have written where companies are claiming they have been affected by September 11, and have had to cut costs/jobs/whatever as a result.

In some cases, such as Airbus, they do have a point.

But it is getting stupid when you have almost any business claiming that there are problems due to Sept. 11 - or any journalist looking for a story claiming changes in their chosen topic because of it.

(eg: "Pandas have bravely continued eating bamboo after the horrific events of September 11. Zoologists believe they are protected from fear by being bears and not understanding the current world situation...)

So what is the worst/best/most annoying post-911-ism you have seen?
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
16:28 / 05.01.02
Actually, I laughed hardest when I went to a "second city" type troop that had in their cast listing that nowhere in the show would the phrase "Due to the effects of September 11th" appear.

But I think the thing that bothers me the most is that anyone who critizes the President is now considered not to be "Patriotically Correct", no matter what the subject is.
 
 
Francine I
23:22 / 05.01.02
Due to the effects of September 11th...

..We have ceased thinking for ourselves. We have ceased contributing critical thought to consensus mind. We have ceased any desire for love and peace, and in it's place we've shown intolerance and ignorance. We have begun the long, hard path of accepting the murderous fate of the heaviest empire.

Due to the effects of September 11th,

We have found ourselves embracing one another in small cornerns in dark rooms. We sweep up other's messes. We give the last of what we have in no hope and in no expectation of reciprocation. We hug for approximately 7.4 seconds longer than we used to. We kiss our friends like we used to kiss our lovers, and we talk to our lovers the way some believe they speak with God.

And we hold on.
 
 
Naked Flame
22:03 / 06.01.02
Frances. You rock.

Rose... yeah, this new incarnation of PC worries the hell out of me. I mean... how can it be wrong to criticise Bush, ffs!

the one that had me annoyed was people asking Peter Jackson to change the name of the second LOTR film. er, but the threats to our lives and civil liberties are important too.
 
 
A
03:57 / 07.01.02
Due to the effects of September 11 we have forgotten that pandas are not actually bears, they just look a lot like 'em.
 
 
Not Here Still
17:47 / 07.01.02
And become insufferably smug, too...
 
 
Naked Flame
20:19 / 07.01.02
I read that as zoologists being protected because they believed they were bears.

Guess I should try and read the board earlier in the day.
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
23:37 / 08.01.02
Due to the effects of September 11th, our news anchors have decided that everything is a sign of life returning to normal. George Bush has become a much larger, deeper thinking man, even though nothing about him has changed but the script.

Due to the effects of September 11th, the military the Clinton put into place has magically become one the Bush put together in 8 months in office. We almost feel bad about caring about the trival stuff that we would obsess on the day before, even though I have yet to see that trivial stuff leave the newspapers.

In my own life? Nothing changed, sadly. I knew the world is a dangerous place and followed international events. But I find myself missing people I used to know a lot more.
 
 
grant
12:31 / 09.01.02
Due to the effects of September 11, Congressmen are stripped at airports.

No, really.
 
 
Jot Evil Rules During Weddings
05:30 / 28.06.07
Due to the effects of September 11th, freedoms are curtailed in defense of liberty

Another story from America's Finest News Source
 
 
bjacques
09:47 / 30.06.07
9/11 is the new FNORD (Communists were the old one). We'll protect you from the 9/11s. The sound of 9/11 skitters around the edges of the public conversation, like a many-legged alien egglayer. Commercials don't have 9/11s in them. They're safe, for a minute. Then back to "24." Shopping malls don't have 9/11s in them either, but be alert! The 9/11s can be *anywhere.* Skitter, skitter.

Due to the effects of 9/11, we let ourselves be hypnotized about FNORDS and then went on to hypnotize others.

Due to the effects of 9/11, otherwise intelligent people have argued over the ignition temperature of steel in skyscrapers and the frame rate of the Pentagon's cameras, instead of concentrating on firing the useless, evil greedy bastards, whatever their role in 9/11, capitalized on it while everyone else was still in shock. OK, the latter was an uphill battle, obviously, but the first was an unnecessary waste of intellectual energy (and a strawman conspiracy theory to debunk less-glamorous conspiracy facts).

By the way, fuck 9/11. That's the only real answer to any politician who invokes 9/11 as a cover for more prying or profiteering. By the way, fuck Peak Oil and Global Climate Change, too, to anyone who tries to play them like 9/11. And they will. Fuck 9/11 is the sound of the definitive boot stomp on the egglayer revealed at last to be just an oversized cockroach, a stomp and a last kick of the little legs. If you want a picture of a better future, imagine a boot stomping on 9/11, forever.
 
 
xenoglaux
15:33 / 30.06.07
Due to the terrorist attacks on 9/11, we have begun to accept doublespeak and the erasure of the past as normal and acceptable.

Why, just the other day, I was watching a news show in which the announcer explained that what the President had said yesterday about the Immigration Bill was actually the opposite of what he meant.

And we are supposed to accept this?
 
 
Jot Evil Rules During Weddings
15:56 / 30.06.07
Due to the effects of September 11th, we have engaged in an endless war on terror. This has led us to invade Afghanistan and Iraq in order to promote freedom in the world, not terror. Oh and by the way, the Taliban is are enemy and they have always been our enemy. Iraq is are enemy and they have always been our enemy.

War Is Peace
Freedom Is Slavery
Ignorance Is Strength
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:26 / 02.07.07
By the way, fuck Peak Oil and Global Climate Change, too, to anyone who tries to play them like 9/11.

Could you unpack this a little more, preferably without use of the non-word "fnord"?
 
 
bjacques
15:32 / 02.07.07
Fucking climate change and peak oil is more of an afterthought, in the event those two paradigms degenerate into versions of the Post-9/11 paradigm, which more urgently needs to be Fucked.

Global climate change and Peak Oil (or running out of cheap oil) are urgent and complex problems requiring sustained creative thinking, political will and maybe a bit of sacrifice, but mostly confidence that we can overcome them and everyone will benefit in doing so. I can dream, can't I?

The "Since 9/11" paradigm has been one of wildly expanding government power without any corresponding increase in accountability, while the reverse is true for citizens (and non-citizens). Our governments aren't as concerned about restricting the rights of corporations (quite the opposite). That lopsided laissez-faire attitude well predates 9/11, but it's helped the electorates to become angrier and more insecure (government can't solve our problems, after all) and more easily led into apparently simple solutions.

The writers of Mute magazine argue in the latest issue Vol. 1#4 ("It's Not Easy Being Green") that if the Since-9/11 paradigm palls, neocons or someone like them could adapt the climate/energy problem to serve power as easily. Citizens would accept fewer freedoms and more militarization of disaster recovery (i.e., emphasize restoring order over providing aid) and surveillance of wasteful activity rather than suspicious activity, that sort of thing. This could drive a war for, say, water or arable land instead of oil.

So the permanent state of emergency would continue, only it would be called Global Warming instead of Terror. But that's only a potential problem, unlike the "Since 9/11" paradigm we've lived with for six years now.
 
 
bjacques
15:44 / 02.07.07
I'll drop the FNORDs but I like the face-hugger 9/11.

By the way, I like the new face of terror: car fails to explode, driver jumps out and, *while on fire* tries to punch out a Glasgow cop.
 
 
Lea-side
13:30 / 04.07.07
And in true Glasgow style, gets kicked the shit out of by the public....
 
  
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