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The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards.
Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself
and
sued McDonalds, winning millions of dollars. This case inspired an
annual
award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the
U.S.
The following are this year's candidates:
1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded
$780,000 by
a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler
who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
little
bastard was Ms. Robertson's son.
2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of
the
car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
3. October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving
a
house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not
able to
get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door
connecting
the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight
days. He
subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.
He
sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue
mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000 dollars.
4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded
$14,500
and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
door
neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in
yard.
The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
been
just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it
repeatedly with a pellet gun.
5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke
her tail bone. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw
it at
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued
the
owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the
bathroom
window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred
while
Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room
to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and
dental
expenses.
7. And the winner is: Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November
2001
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On
his
first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control
at 70
mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make
himself a
cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the Winnebago left the freeway, crashed
and
overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the
handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000
plus a
new Winnebago. (Winnebago actually changed their owners manuals because
of
this court case, just in case there are any other complete morons
buying their vehicles.) |
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