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Random Burchill Generator

 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
13:13 / 24.08.02
If only it was audio...
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:32 / 24.08.02
"Having grown up working class, Modern Review with no old-school network . A police state wouldn't be such a bad thing."

"As the bright child of two factory workers, Amockalypsists and I haven't had my nuts taken off by academia makes so much more sense than male homosexuality."

Fuckin' A. Not enough stuff about how much she hates transexuals, Muslims, immigrants and anorexics though...
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:56 / 24.08.02
fantastico
 
 
Ganesh
15:35 / 24.08.02
For full effect, inhale helium before reading aloud. And eat a couple of hundredweight Hobnobs. And give birth to and subsequently ignore Tony Parsons' child.
 
 
gravitybitch
16:21 / 24.08.02
"Oooo! Then there was a book of essays I reviewed for bourgeoisie I was the best critic and essayist in this country, which probably means THE WORLD but a lot more fun."

Ummm.... right.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
10:00 / 25.08.02
"My first marriage ended because Amockalypsists unlike my wussy compadres a drag queen made bitter by a real woman's breasts."

Fantastic.
 
 
Cat Chant
10:02 / 25.08.02
"Having grown up working class, in that Versace dress unlike my wussy compadres . Now there's a big idea to get your head around."

Says it all.
 
 
invisible_al
16:08 / 26.08.02
"The Germans are the worst bourgeoisie I literally felt the world shift on its axis knackers cut off by academe."

Its just like the real thing
 
 
Spatula Clarke
12:36 / 11.09.02
Bringing this back from the dead for one post, because I only just found it and this result needs a wider audience:

On leaving my husband for a girlie some six years ago, I must have put enough toot up my admittedly sizeable snout to stun the entire Colombian armed forces until I got married . Now there's a big idea to get your head around.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
12:50 / 11.09.02
Best generated sentence EVER!!
 
 
Saint Keggers
14:58 / 11.09.02
Ok, pardon my ignorance, but who the hell is Julie Burchill?
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
18:55 / 11.09.02
Fearsome newspaper columnist who seems to veer wildly between left-wing opinions when she writes for right-wing papers like the mail and right-wing opinions when she writes for the Guardian. If you go to the www.guardian.co.uk website (sorry, too tired to foo right now) and look in the columsn you can see her work. She started off in the music press in the late seventies, along with Tony Parsons whom she briefly married and had a child with, before divorcing and running off to live with a woman in Brighton, whom she also then split up with some time later.
Now she spends her time writing novels, both fic and non-fic, and newspaper columns, but tends to shy away from anything where her voice might be heard, because she genuinely sounds like Elmo from the muppets if he had been raised in Norfolk. Supposedly part of the Groucho set, Liked by very few people, which I suspect is how she likes it.
I personally don't particularly care for her because I tend to suspect she doesn't have many genuine beliefs (except in her supreme role as the centre of everyone's universe) but merely swaps them like coats depending on who she's trying to annoy when she's writing a column. Although arguably this is what a writer should do.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
19:20 / 11.09.02
she genuinely sounds like Elmo from the muppets if he had been raised in Norfolk

and had been repeatedly kicked in the nuts as a child.
 
 
Ganesh
19:39 / 11.09.02
Queen Troll; ferocious consumer and excreter of vitriol.
 
 
Rage
09:56 / 12.09.02
This is classic.

I must say there are few things that irritate me more than Tony Parsons unlike my wussy compadres a drag queen made bitter by a real woman's breasts.

My first marriage ended because the reason they're so obsessed with having it was I who first coined the word who isn't yet out of education by the time they're 20.

Oooo! Then there was a book of essays I reviewed for working-class Bristol London can't even create the thing it was synonymous with the portion-controlled sausage factory that is further education.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
16:15 / 13.11.03
And Now she's leaving The Guardian for The Times, which either means her writing is going to go left wing again or she'll find she is actually now a Tory after all...
 
 
Not Here Still
17:51 / 13.11.03
Yes, poor old principled Julie's leaving the Guardian because Murdoch offered to double her money... Gawd I hate her.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:02 / 14.11.03
You have no idea how happy this makes me. My only wish is that the Guardian had actually given her the heave-ho, having realised that giving a platform to openly hateful views is not a necessary requirement of a supposedly lefty/liberal newspaper...

It would have been nice, for example, if she had been let go after the following crazed and delusional piece of transphobia - "Lesbianism used to be the one place a girl could get a little me-time, but these days men are having male-to-female sex changes so they can get in on the Sapphic act, too." - truly worthy of Richard Littlejohn.

I was however pleased to discover that the Guardian website now prints any subsequent corrections at the start of archived pieces, thus: "The column below said that the national lottery's community fund tended not to give money to unglamorous groups such as those helping blind servicemen. The fund points out that to date it has given money to 400 ex-servicemen's and veterans' organisations."

Come on Rupert, offer David Aaronovitch a job too!
 
 
_Boboss
09:19 / 14.11.03
used too work with her botfriend, lovely chap, a little browbeaten perhaps, utterly unwilling to talk about his private life with the most unpopular woman in town. 'but dan how can you she writes like a fucking idiot' didn't go down too well, tellin yer.
 
 
_Boboss
09:19 / 14.11.03
yes botfriend yes
 
 
Whisky Priestess
20:22 / 14.11.03
"When I was a kiddy growing up in the early 70s, London is crap terminally over-educated snivelling wretch Tony Parsons."

I remember her incredible smugness about said lover. Cue Julie crying proudly to the world: "Look! Despite being a scary fat old bird I can still get a hot toyboy to shag me!" I think she got about six columns out of that particular topic.
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
03:39 / 15.11.03
I hope she chokes, I really do.
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
03:40 / 15.11.03
PS Oooo! Then there was a book of essays I reviewed for my school was literally a concentration camp terminally over-educated proclaiming loud and clear to the world that they are not in the least interested in sex.
 
 
El Gato Was Right: the t-shirt
04:41 / 15.11.03
"Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash."

Whoops, I thought this was a random Churchill generator.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
06:33 / 15.11.03
Radiator 2 : BODYHAMMER I hope she chokes, I really do.

Is that from the Random Radiohead Generator?
 
  
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