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Falling out of love magick?

  
 
Anathema
04:40 / 19.08.02
Any advice for a magical working to make oneself fall out of love with someone you are very much attached/attracted to? In other words, not doing it because you want to but because you have to in order to end a dysfunctional, unhealthy relationship. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
 
 
6opow
07:18 / 19.08.02
Well, you might want to construct a symbolic representation of your attachment to the person in question, perhaps using some material things that you might have which represent the relationship, and then destroy it in some sort of ritual manner. Do not destroy the symbolic representation with malice or ill will towards the person in question, but merely destroy it in an act of love towards both yourself and the other: certainly if the relationship is abusive, then the real spirit of Love needs to be invoked in order to free the two people involved in said relationship from their negative feedback loop so the two may go their separate ways to heal.

You might consider doing this ritual destruction on a New Moon, as it is a phase of the moon commonly held in association with new beginnings.

You might also want to do some sort of cleansing ritual in order to rid yourself of the desire and attachment you feel. Perhaps you could destroy your symbolic representation of the relationship, and then have a nice bath.

Popular opinion might dictate that you could also create a sigil based on the desire to end the relationship and then charge this sigil. This may not be as effective if you are too attached to the desire to stay in the relationship. Perhaps a sigil indicating your desire to be rid of the relationship would be more effective after you have destroyed your symbolic representation of the relationship and attempted some sort of ritual purification with respect to the relationship.

Of course, all this will work best if you actually take the steps needed to end the relationship without magickal aid, and then use magick to reinforce your will and remind yourself of your free choice to end the relationship.
 
 
gravitybitch
13:50 / 19.08.02
Sigh. I'm looking for a bit of that myself, I'm still missing my ex horribly. We split up a little more than a year and a half ago and it's still tough sorting through 13 years worth of shared history.

The best magick is probably to find somebody else... I'm not quite ready yet.
 
 
SMS
14:43 / 19.08.02
fall out of love with someone you are very much attached/attracted to?

You mean someone with whom you are in love? Is it a matter of falling out of love or getting out of a crush. Or do you want to end the relationship? End the attachment? I guess the most important thing to do in an unhealthy relationship is to end the attachment. Next on the list is probably ending the relationship. I'm always reluctant to recommend anyone give up love.

If I were in this position today, I would probably try a meditative prayer for strength to end the relationship and the attachment. I'd then add some blessings for the other person so that I wouldn't have destructive feelings about hir.
 
 
illmatic
14:56 / 19.08.02
An interesting technique to experiment with might be Austin Spare’s Neither-Neither. You can find details of this in his “Book of Pleasure” which I’m sure must be online somewhere. However this is can be pretty incomprehensible, esp. on a first read. My understanding of this technique is drawn from Stephen Mace’s book “Stealing the Fire from Heaven” ( he’s one of the most lucid commentators on Spare I’ve come across incidentally).
The neither-neither technique works by treating our beliefs not as things-in themselves (truths) but more like ossified energy. If we can contemplate another belief or point of view while gripped by our passions we can liberate this energy and use this moment of gnosis to empower our desires (through sigils)– Spare calls it “free belief”. In the BoP Spare uses the example of disappointment generated by the final collapse of a friendship. Other examples might be when gripped by hate for someone, to think of how they might appear to one of their loved ones or when bemoaning a broken heart to recognise how your own needs and idealising of the other party have contributed to the situation. Steven Mace suggests after you’ve generated this initially “flash” to keep on pushing and pushing against those residual ideas which underlie our surface beliefs until you are left with a free floating mass of energy. For me, this sensation is very similar to how I feel when I’ve had a really good idea.
I can’t really say how this will relate to the situation you’re in at the moment, as you’re probably best off crafting your own insights. Just try opposing the beliefs/attitudes that you have now with something else of equal force – anything that breaks your normal perspective. You can then use this to charge a sigil that represents a desired outcome – hopefully a happy one for both parties, or increased strength/insight/happiness for yourself. The good thing about this techniques is you can use it anywhere while going about your day to day buisness (note that it doesn't have to specifically refer to your the situation in hand - could just be losing your temper while getting cut up in traffic- it's all energy, from Spare's perspective) and it uses the events of our daiy lives as "fuel" for our magick. It's a useful exercise to do anyway, without the sigils, but it seems fitting to somehow direct the energy.
 
 
Anathema
18:27 / 19.08.02
Thanks to all for the great advice, you've all been very helpful and your suggestions have been taken to heart.

444: Indeed, the Will is being put into motion on the mundane level, the magick needed to back up and reinforce. Your advice on a symbolic representation and cleansing is great. Will probably utilize an approach along these lines.

SMatthewStolte: Not a crush but the real thing, an established relationship gone bad. Don't want to end it but logic and common sense say it must be so. So yes, it is the attachment needing to be severed. The desire is not there to do this but I am looking for a way to circumvent desire in order to break free of the unhealthy bond. And yes, I don't want bad feelings or ill will towards the other, only positive outcome for all involved and a way to move past the pain myself.

Mr Illmatic: Thanks for the neither/neither idea. Have been approaching things along this line already. Just looking for suggestions which may differ from how I usually do things as in this instance they do not seem to be having much effect. Forgetting and letting go is a problem when you have so much energy and emotion invested in something.

Thanks again everyone, knew I could count on getting some good input here.
 
 
Chaos is relative
19:29 / 19.08.02
I used simple powers of justification to break an attachment recently. If you dwell on the ways your life will be improved by letting go of that person, it makes things much easier.
Desire is something which magick seeks to eliminate anyhow. One interpretation of the goal inherant in Thelemic magick is to eliminate all but the desire to accomplish the Great Work. That is what has worked for me. Best Wishes.
 
  
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