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I am sad.

  
 
Rage
01:27 / 13.08.02
My grandfather just died. I feel dead myself.
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:35 / 13.08.02
My deepest heartfelt sympathies go out to you. I had a lifelong friend die last month and everything I think to say to console you and make you feel better sounds just as empty as it did when said to me. I dont know if it all gets any better or just settles into the background. The only thing said to me that helped was "its sad and horrid and unbearable and the fuck if I know why it happens. That gives me a wee bit of acceptance, to know that I have no idea why something as bad a death happens and if something as bad as death can happen for a reason that I dont understand then something as great as the life they lead before it and the effect that life had can only happen for reasons that are greater than we can hope to understand and for reason that will make their death seem insignificant."
Anyway it really resonated with me when told to me (and I'm retelling it from memory so it may be a bit off).
 
 
illmatic
07:31 / 13.08.02
My fullest sympathies to both of you. I can sympathise, a close friend of mine died in February and my dad died last year. I can't say that the grief fades, it's more like the rest of life pulls you back after a while. Everything might seem empty for awhile but I guess it's got to. What really use to move me ( and still does) was the random acts of kindness and compassion from friends. I hope you can do your best to honour your grandad's memory.
 
 
Sax
08:03 / 13.08.02
It gets better, Rage. Honestly.
 
 
Naked Flame
08:10 / 13.08.02
So sorry, Rage. Hugs.
 
 
Ariadne
08:13 / 13.08.02
Yes, sorry to hear that Rage. Look after yourself.
 
 
angel
08:49 / 13.08.02
Big warm hugs to you dear.

Make sure that when you say goodbye to him, that you do it in a way that is meaningful to you. Respect the needs of those around you, but make sure you get to do/say what you need to in order to honour his memory. I've been bullied into grieving in the "prescribed" way by family and friends and boy was doing it my own way so much better and far healthier for me.

My world was shattered when my grandfather died, so I can imagine the intensity of what you are feeling. It does get easier, but it takes time. Be gentle with yourself.

Much love!
 
 
Cherry Bomb
09:14 / 13.08.02
Oooh, *big strong hugs* to you, rage.

I know it really hurts - especially if you were fairly close to them. When my grandma died I was a wreck. She was more than a grandma, she was a pal who would watch crap tv and try on make up with me.

One thing I did that really really helped was I wrote her a long letter of all the things I'd miss about her and why I was sad that she was gone (things like "I'll miss your peanut butter and butter sandwiches and I will miss you making me laugh," etc etc), and as we had an open casket funeral, I put the letter in her coffin. Just a thought.

If you need to talk to someone, feel free to pm me.
 
 
Ellis says:
09:45 / 13.08.02
Heartfelt huggles, Rage.

I hope you feel better soon.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
09:50 / 13.08.02
Tare care, Rage. This too shall pass but it's all part of the process. {{{big hug}}}
 
 
Shortfatdyke
09:59 / 13.08.02
Losing people we love is a horrible, but inevitable part of life. It is hard - no point in telling you anything else. I actually found much comfort in my grandmother's funeral - it was a Humanist one, and it celebrated her life really beautifully - and it served its purpose in that everyone could show that they loved her and say goodbye. Four years later, I still miss her, but the pain's lost its nastiest edge. It will get better, you will remember your grandfather in lovely, happy ways. As Angel said, say goodbye the way you want to.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
10:36 / 13.08.02
Not really a lot I can add, other than take care, and have some of this sympathy I've got for ya. Oh, and take some of these huggles while you're at it.

Deepest condolences, Rage. And yes, it DOES get better.
 
 
that
10:48 / 13.08.02
Really sorry Rage... hugs.
 
 
Lurid Archive
10:50 / 13.08.02
I feel for you, man. *hugs*
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
12:39 / 13.08.02
Mega ((((hugs)))), Rage.
 
 
bitchiekittie
13:34 / 13.08.02
dont know what to say, other than I hope you and your family are well
 
 
Ganesh
17:41 / 13.08.02
You're right to feel sad, Rage; it is sad. Will get less so, and that's right and proper too.
 
 
autopilot disengaged
20:32 / 13.08.02
i hope you're ok.

be ok.

rowr.
 
 
captain piss
13:05 / 14.08.02
best wishes, the rage
 
 
invisible_al
14:53 / 14.08.02
Yeah mate, with you there, hugs and all that. Things will get better believe me.
 
 
Rage
08:57 / 15.08.02
Thank you all. I'm really touched at how supportive you guys are. My dad died earlier this year, and it seems like everyone is suddenly vanishing. I hope this will be the last of the family deaths. I don't know how much more I can take.
 
 
Ender
06:26 / 06.10.04
Rage? lets bring back some of the old classics, rage seems to have different personalities?
 
 
Bear
07:04 / 06.10.04
See I thought ben might be regular playing the comedy doesn't have a clue angle now I'm not so sure. This is uncalled for.
 
 
Sax
07:06 / 06.10.04
Why has this thread been bumped?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
07:40 / 06.10.04
I think because benfox is used to different model of socialisation. I'm going to move to lock it, and suggest we let it sink back again.
 
  
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