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Underground > Radio & Music >

Stand by your music collection

08:34 / 10.08.02

Somewhere in your music collection is at least one record that you never, ever want anyone to find. But for some reason you don't want to get rid of it. Here's the challenge: Own up to those records, and tell us why you're fond of them.

I'll start:

Album: Whigfield - Whigfield 1
Why: Because it has plenty of memories of drunken high-school parties where everyone got sloshed on cheap beer. And you have to love cheesy songs like Saturday Night and When I Think Of You. Plus the looks you get when someone unearths this beauty from the depths of your collection are priceless.

Album: Tokyo Ghetto Pussy - Disco 2001
Why: It's Jam & Spoon favucssake! What's so bad about hardcore rave music? And the row I had with my mother about the album title still ranks in the Top 10 Loudest arguments ever.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

12:50 / 10.08.02

Meat Loaf- Bat out of Hell. Because it's Meat Loaf! Eddie! Robert Paulson! Because it's over the top pomp-rock and funny as fuck!

Boy in a Suitcase

18:00 / 10.08.02

Probably my fucking Vines album. I'm such a sucker.

20:51 / 10.08.02

my Metallica albums: coz i still like to bang the head that does not band.

XXII:X:II = XXX

02:52 / 11.08.02

Well, I've got a few that are quite literally in the "take to the second-hand shop" pile, including the soundtrack to the movie TOYS (w/Grace Jones, Thomas "She Blinded Me... With Science!" Dolby, and pre-"Little Earthquakes" Tori Amos on it). Ones which are in the active reserves, however, include:

Aqua - Aquarius: A little girl voice, a gravelly man's voice. Naughty naughty naughty!

Beauty & the Beast (Broadway show soundtrack): Residue from a 8+ year fetish with Disney. I'm feeling much better now, thanks.

Dazed & Confused soundtrack: Great movie with some great tunes, but overall not as fun to listen to in one sitting as I thought. Maybe I haven't been baked in that sitting.

MC 900 Ft Jesus - One Step Ahead of the Spider: Surprisingly good. If you only remember this from that one single, "If I Only Had A Brain," it's got some quality to it.

Stakka Bo - Supermarket: Best remembered for having its single "Here We Go" razzed by Beavis & Butthead. Generally jazzy and funky, considering that they're all Scandinavian.

Will Smith - Big Willie Style & Willenium: Look, I grew up on DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince, and he's got mad skillz, so don't be a playa hata. Besides, I think I got these for a buck a pop, so by most accounting I got my money's worth, at least.

The Simpsons Sing the Blues: You've not lived until you hear Bart duet with Buster Pointdexter. You've not died 'til then, either.

M-People - Elegant Slumming: No, at the time I did not understand the subculture this represented. I'd be lying if I said I understand now how it's supposed to.

The Party: See explanation for Beauty & the Beast above. Pre-Britney, Christina & Justin bubblegum pop zygote from the farm that was The New Mickey Mouse Club. I have no excuse, save that the Asian girl was smokin' hot.

19:53 / 15.08.02

My shame would have to be my Cds: Shakira "Donde estas los
ladrones" and "Shakira Unplugged". I bought them in Mexico and
they remind me of it. Just a few years ago she used to be less
skinny and a brunette. Cute! I swear!

05:23 / 18.08.02

i've given up defending my music collection because its a losing battle. i think i have equal parts death metal, funk, garage rock, jazz, surf music, and just about everything else, with the exception of smooth jazz. and it all comes under attack from some jerkoff who's "ok with the rock and jazz stuff, but what's up with the jamiroquai (or some such)?" sheesh. but like most of us, i get hit the hardest for the radio friendly stuff, like:

The Strokes: yeah, okay, it sucks. the lead singer's voice is so shitty that it has to be filtered throughout the entire album. and, yes, all the songs sound the same. but i print all of the band's t-shirts (from scenic nj), and was curious, so when the album came out, i bought it. i refuse to sell it because, in a way, i'm proud that a band that i did work for is "making it." hurrah.

Incubus- Morning View: heh heh. there was this one time i was reaaaaaaly high. so high, in fact, that i thought this was a great album. then i bought the album and listened to it sober. well, at least it reminds me of that time i was reaaaaly high and thought it was good. ah, memories.

Sting (anything post-Police): i'm getting ready for being middle-aged.

jUne, a sunshiny month

12:50 / 18.08.02

hey, U, any t's at 50% in stock ?

20:52 / 18.08.02

barry auckland, i can totally believe that!

03:32 / 19.08.02

Tokyo Ghetto Pussy - Disco 2001

I own the 'everybody on the floor' CD single and still love its plastic tackiness. I remember the video with fond memories - it was in a pink laundrette with a DJ throwing out candy!!! Why can't clubs be really like that!!!

Mel & Kim - FLM. This was the first CD I every bought, and I recently heard 'Respect(able)' in a club. It actually not as bad as I had convinced myself it was for so many years...

I also had a wonderfull collection of Speed & death metal (Death, Carcass, Forbidden etc) but someone has bizarrly seemed to have stolen it all...

My housemate has a compilation from the early 90's aussie soap called 'E-Street'. It has a girl called 'Melissa' on it. It was an early attempt to clone Kylie that failed rather badly. Its somehow become almost magical in its awfulness. It also features Euphoria with their tragipop marvel 'I wanna love u right!'.

The Return Of Rothkoid

06:35 / 19.08.02

Hmm. That would be Melissa Tkautz, methinks. When I was working at a teen mag, years ago, I got a copy of that CD - there was a cupboard-full of the things - of my very own. And it's woeful. Hmm - isn't it "Sexy Is The Word" that she sings on it? I can't remember if that's the one with the "hands off my detonator" bit in it? My money's with the Bruce Samazan rap about the series itself, though - that's pure genius.

As for music I should defend? Hmm. I do have a Beat Farmers CD somewhere that I can't bring myself to throw out, for some reason. It's a sickness, I admit.

Oh, all right. And there's that Australian Crawl/James Reyne comp that just won't go. Probably 'cos the boys light up. Light up. Light up. Light up. Maybe I'm using it as a reminder that anyone can have a smash.

00:31 / 20.08.02

No No Nannette

I really don't like Broadway musicals, but my gram gave it me so it's sentimental

04:24 / 22.08.02

sorry, June, i'm just the guy who prints em and ships em...

12:53 / 22.08.02

Van Halen, "1984." The double-kick drum intro to "Hot for Teacher" still rocks, no matter what anyone says. And the band photos on the insert are always good for a chuckle. The Cock Rock classic.

Roger Miller, "The Hits." If you're not won over by ditties like "Chug-a-Lug," "Dang Me," and "You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd," there's always "King of the Road." Ah, the glorious freedom of the hobo life!

Jack The Bodiless

13:59 / 22.08.02

Dear god... I'm not sure there's enough space on the internet for all my glorious shite music...

How about my complete Van Halen collection? Spooky won't let me play it in the house... but I'm allowed to play my a-ha albums, for some reason. Then, of course, there's the Marillion, which she doesn't mind so much (except when she asks for something a little less melancholy. My girlfriend the goth goddess, ladies and gentlemen...), and the James, which she actually really likes. However, she'd laugh her head off were I to put on some of my Billy Joel CDs, and Sting? Dire Straits? The Wildhearts? Forget it.

Then there's my love of collecting horribly cheesy Eighties vinyl... I have Lionel Ritchie's 'Dancing On The Ceiling' LP, Phil Collins' 'Against All Odds', Giorgio Moroder/Phil Oakey's 'Electric Dreams', and my current favourite cheese-rock lust object - John Parr's 'St. Elmo's Fire'. Spooks thanks her lucky stars that the stylus on my record player is fucked, believe you me...

There's more, but those are the gems. I love my music collection.

22:41 / 22.08.02

Most of the dire shit I bought in my teens can be redeemed by irony and retained in my collection out of a sense of nostalgia. But I bought a truly dreadful cd a couple of years ago in France; I can't remember the name of the album but the band was called Aston Villa. It was indescribably bland middle-of-the-road French rock and I can't in all honesty justify keeping it. Some stuff you just can't stand by.

Tryphena Absent

23:03 / 22.08.02

Roxette. I was twelve, it reminds of the ferry to Denmark, it's very comforting... I'm so ashamed!

23:44 / 22.08.02

Hmm - isn't it "Sexy Is The Word" that she sings on it? I can't remember if that's the one with the "hands off my detonator" bit in it?

It might be from that second single "Make love not war". Both tragipop masterpieces. I remember the videos where they squashed the image to make her look thinner...

My money's with the Bruce Samazan rap about the series itself, though - that's pure genius.

He always was the talented one. hehehehe. He's a real estate agent now, apparently.

02:27 / 23.08.02

Bruce Willis -The Return of the Bruno
Jack Wagner- All I Need.(?)

Bruce Willis was actually my extra selection when I first join Columbia House back in the eighties. I dont know why I keep him. I just dont throw him out.
I used to watched Jack Wagner when he played Frisco Jones on General Hospital (It was the only thing on when I got home from elementary school). That was back when it was a guys soap...secret agents, hidden treasures, aliens it had it all.

glowworm_wiggle

18:15 / 23.08.02

spice girls, anyone?

19:38 / 23.08.02

You are dead to me now.

Old brown-eye is back

22:45 / 23.08.02

The Fuzzbox album with Calling International Rescue on, bought purely because I fancied the little gold hotpants off the lead singer and the cover was purple.

Pocket Full of Kryptonite by rickity white funk act The Spin Doctors. I'm going out on a limb here, but I still maintain that the last song doesn't suck quite as badly as the rest of it.

Eighty five per cent of the albums I bought when I first started reading Kerrang! Back in Black by AC/DC, the first three Iron Maiden albums, and, yes, the first Van Halen record - all of which they'll have to pry my cold dead fingers off.

God, there must be more than that. Think, brain!

(As to why they're still around, it's simply that I'm too anal to throw anything away.)

uncle retrospective

06:33 / 24.08.02

Never say sorry for owning Maiden albums.

On my part I have white ladder by David "fucking" Gray. I like it, it reminds me of glastonbury 2000 and that was a good time. Mr Gray is very good to watch after frying your brain the night before.

07:23 / 24.08.02

The Partridge Family album
The Dukes OF Hazzard album

How could I get rid of them...they're so bad they're kitzch.

11:13 / 24.08.02

it's so embarrassing but what the hell. i have *two* slint albums and own all of pavement's lps! and i got the new tweet album too.

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:01 / 24.08.02

I feel your pain, suds. I own all the albums ever made by The Strokes, which has earned me nothing but the contempt of serious music-lovers worldwide. I also own many rap albums, both beardy and bling-bling, as well as several albums that feature women playing guitars. How do I sleep?

18:49 / 26.08.02

I don't own anything that I would want no one to see. Not that my record collection is entirely hot or hip bands, just that I stand by every record of mine with enough conviction that I don't feel ashamed of any of them. It's my music, and I could really care fuck all if people don't like Rush, Van Halen, Flotsom and Jetsam, Manowar, etc., cuz I think that they fucking rock.