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Things that make you go "hmmmm...."; Barbelactions that set off your spider-sense.

  
  

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ONLY NICE THINGS
08:28 / 06.08.02
1) The accusation that people are "arguing about semantics". Especially in a thread about semantics.

2) The accusation that somebody is using "rhetoric". Especially in...

3) 1 or 2, but compounded by the person clearly not knowing what the word in question means.

4) Any unexamined use of the term "political correctness".

5) Any argument beginning "as a...", especially when the thesis then advanced is either in total oppostion or utterly irrelevant to the generally understood sense of the term. "As a mother, I support the death sentence", "as a feminist, I believe strident women do their cause more harm than good", "as a writer, (insert pretty much anything here)".

6) Onomatopoeia.

7) The good ol' Nazis Gambit.

Any more for any more? What makes your hackles rise and your gizzard blizzard?
 
 
Sax
08:41 / 06.08.02
8) Making a statement and then having it helpfully explained to you what you really meant by someone who knows better.
 
 
sleazenation
08:59 / 06.08.02
The nazi gambit gets me every time...

Watching channel 4 news last night - a discussion on the rights and wrongs of invading Iraq one interviewee chose to ignore the perfectly valid but thorny issue of what would come next after ousting President Hussain and instead play the nazi gambit
"if we don't oust Saddam we will be appeasing - just like in the 1930s"
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
09:01 / 06.08.02
Any thread exalting unexamined reactions to common shapes to the status of acceptable response.
 
 
Seth
09:27 / 06.08.02
Assuming that Nick's post is number 9...

10) Any thread in which the topic starter begins to weave responses (whether they agree or not) into what they suggest is a wider tapestry existing just outside the comprehension of the rest of the contributors on the thread, even though they have "helped" in shaping the discussion, the meaning of what they are involved in apparently being dangled tantalisingly just out of reach. Any attempt to ask the topic starter to explain is met with exactly the same response, condescending tone increasing exponentially until inevitable flashpoint...
 
 
No star here laces
09:54 / 06.08.02
11) The belief that all threads must be an argument and that all terms be defined and precise and the commensurate closing down of posters' attempts to speculate, muse and generally play with the ideas involved.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:06 / 06.08.02
12) When somebody gets really hacked off, and tries to talk all proper in their response, but ends up jumbling their syntax, mistyping the twenty-dollar words, whacking prepositions every which way but the end of the sentence, and generally creating an absolutely impenetrable word salad, any attempt at enquiry into the meaning of which will result in a deep-seated conviction that the piss is being taken.

13) Harsh language. Never any call for harsh language.
 
 
w1rebaby
10:32 / 06.08.02
14) paragraphs longer than about seven lines (connected to 12)

nazi thing: see Godwin's Law

15) people with usernames with the number 69 in them

16) any reference to quantum theory or the uncertainty principle outside of a thread about quantum theory (and often not even then) has a 100% correlation in my experience to the poster not knowing what they're talking about
 
 
w1rebaby
10:33 / 06.08.02
17) "what was so bad about the k..."
 
 
Saveloy
10:51 / 06.08.02
Not a major crime, but:

18) Sneaking a preposterous, subjective assertion into an otherwise scrupulously objective post. Meant to look flippant and not to be taken too seriously, thus not worth commenting on because you'll look like you've missed the point, or are a humourless pedant. A form of smuggling.
 
 
Seth
10:53 / 06.08.02
In a topic entitled, "List of /(Insert Category Here)/ that you /(Like/Dislike)/, and Why":

(i) /(Insert List Item Here, Without Exposition)/
(ii) /(Insert List Item Here, Without Exposition)/
(iii) /(Insert List Item Here, Without Exposition)/
(iv) /(Insert List Item Here, Without Exposition)/
(v) /(Insert List Item Here, Without Exposition)/
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:07 / 06.08.02
Yay expressionless! Boo Saveloy.

20) "I'm no racist, but... " / "I know some people will call this sexist, but..." / "This isn't homophobic, before you PC nazis get on my case, but..."

As in real life, always followed by the predictable results.
 
 
Bear
11:16 / 06.08.02
Flyboys reminds me of a neighbour who liked to apologise before she swore, didn't quite see the point in that.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:20 / 06.08.02
21) Ridiculously defensive/thin-skinned people, who cannot cope with nor articulately refute the suggestion that some of their attitudes may be the teensiest bit fucked-up, and have to respond by SHOUTING, bringing their dead grandad/childhood trauma/life of Dickensian Misery into it, demanding an apology, or announcing that they're putting the offender on ignore. Or all of the above.
 
 
Ethan Hawke
12:05 / 06.08.02
22) Paragraph-length quotes from theorists presented by a poster as a self-evident argument. (argument from authority)
 
 
Sax
12:08 / 06.08.02
23) Threads entitled: "I'm leaving Barbelith"

24) Threads posted a week later entitled: "I'm Baaaack! What have I missed? Someone point me in the direction of the interesting threads please!"
 
 
Saveloy
12:17 / 06.08.02
The Nazis thing is an example of:

25) Damning by association. Can be put any number of ways but the gist is: "That's the sort of thing a (insert group or type that's a dead cert to be unpopular with the majority of Barbeloids, eg fatbeards, Daily Mail readers) would say." Works by shaming the target in front of their peers, hence much used by bullies and teachers (do you see, I've just done the very thing of which I speak, right there? Do you see?)

You could argue that use of this tactic is justified in the name of the cause and all that (the ironic use of "it's political correctness gone mad" is a mild example of damning by association) but it is a bit dirty, a bit lazy AND relies on assumptions doing the donkey work.
 
 
Sax
12:24 / 06.08.02
Now why do I have the unshakeable feeling this thread is going to become a number (10)?
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
13:56 / 06.08.02
Oh, btw. I'm leaving barbelith. byebye.

26)Something I can't quite put my finger on, but related to point 11) -arriving at an ongoing thread with an attitude that immediately closes down all the discursive, open parts of a thread and reduces it to a 'you're wrong, i'm right' polarised argument. usually results in the more intereresting points becoming lost under shouting and snarking, and the more interesting posters giving up the ghost and moving on to something else. big loss of potential.

27)actually, people's long-standing feuds, comic or serious, erupting in a long established and ongoing discussion, with pretty much the same result.
 
 
Sax
14:06 / 06.08.02
28) Het flirting clogging up threads. Get a room!
 
 
deja_vroom
14:22 / 06.08.02
29)Refusal to concede a point when one's proven to be wrong by means of diversionist tactics of any kind.

30)The habit of "buying time", bringing up irrelevant inferences and/or commentaries about minor details of other people's previous posts.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:27 / 06.08.02
A big shout-out for #27, deffo.

31) People starting threads in the Head Shop who appear inexplicably not to have read the guide to the Head Shop underneath the title and decide that it is the right place to talk about their new bong construction idea.

32 (see also 28)) People's long-standing cock-ear concupiscence erupting in a long-established and onging discussion, leading to a buzz buzz buzz in the drum of the ear.

And if anyone is going to read that and go on the defensive/counter offensive, then STOP IT!
 
 
Ethan Hawke
15:03 / 06.08.02
Re: #31 -

You know, maybe the name of the "Head Shop" should be changed, so that innocent bystanders could quicker realize that it's not a place to buy new glassware for their illegal habits. The name "Head Shop" conjures up visions of tie dye, dayglo skulls, and orientalist incense holders.
 
 
Tom Coates
15:57 / 06.08.02
#32 - the assumption that because the Head Shop is about clever things that all clever conversation has to go in there, even when 80% of all the other fora could do with a little more intellectual rigour every so often.

#33 - long cut-and-pasted articles presented without comment, or links posted without commentary. Conversations that follow always have to go back and try and work out what the particular issue about the subject is and tend to ramble aimlessly or die stillborn.
 
 
Seth
16:35 / 06.08.02
34) Board members - especially moderators - who post, "Isn't this the sort of topic that should belong in the Magick forum?" Usually in reference to some piece of shit looney-tune aliens and lizards conspiracy rant that they've scraped off the bottom of their shoe while trampling though forums filled with "more considered" musings.

Shit is shit, everyone. Delete the fucker if you don't like it. The Magick is not your dumping ground. KEEP BARBELITH TIDY.
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
16:44 / 06.08.02
34 - The inevitable "me too" response, hidden in a lot more verbage.

35 - People who say the topic isn't worth discussing in the thread itself. You know, there are a lot of things I don't feel I need to discuss too, but I just don't read that thread. Heaven knows I have been in enough fanboy discussions about why Captain American could beat Batman in a fight that I have NO right to tell people what they are discussing doesn't matter.

36 - People who think Batman could beat Captain America in a fight. ^_^
 
 
Sebastian
19:45 / 06.08.02
37 - Cryptic cool fiction suits
38 - Cryptic cool locations

DEMASK YOURSELF!!!
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
20:03 / 06.08.02
15) people with usernames with the number 69 in them

Oh c'mon, you just know they experiment with wild and different sexual positions all the time with lots of beautiful partners.

Was that a #34? Ooops.

16) any reference to quantum theory or the uncertainty principle outside of a thread about quantum theory (and often not even then) has a 100% correlation in my experience to the poster not knowing what they're talking about

Since barbelith is a place where even the trolls are reasonably well-versed in quantum and relativistic physics, perhaps this comes from too much time on boards that are not Barbelith.

...that wasn't supposed to sound as lame as it did, I promise. There was a point to it somewhere.

39) Like 12, but even if they carry it off well: you're not fooling anyone, we all know the other person has managed to "get your goat", retaliating in that manner (even if it's grammatically correct) is still childish and makes you look like a tool, and worse so because you've obviously gone to great lengths to make it appear that the other person has not affected your mood in the slightest and you are still cool.

It's okay if you lose your cool because someone pissed you off. You are not the Fonz. No one is...
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
20:15 / 06.08.02
40) The passive-aggressive tactic of appending something like "(resisting the urge to call [x] a smelly ass-head)" to a post.
 
 
the Fool
23:17 / 06.08.02
41) Instant dismissal of anything resembling relativist thought, with accusations of "I know what your going to argue!".
 
 
Tom Coates
06:32 / 07.08.02
42) Posts without capital letters. With some notable exceptions, a post without capital letters is often an affectation and contain more than their share of bad spelling, worse grammar and sloppy thinking.
 
 
Sax
06:47 / 07.08.02
43) Threads that consist of four or five posts all by the originator of the thread. Leave it! If people want to join in, they will. You just look needy.
 
 
Saveloy
08:35 / 07.08.02
44) Use of the word 'needy'. It's bloody everywhere these days! It's the new 'sad'.
 
 
Ganesh
11:13 / 07.08.02
45) Failure to provide a topic abstract - so Tom or another moderator has to write 'em.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
23:23 / 07.08.02
46) Personal attacks based on unsubstantiated accusations.

47) Repetition of unsubstantiated accusations until said accusations are widely accepted as the truth.

48) Repetition of unsubstantiated accusations by someone who neither knows nor cares if there's any truth in said accusations but likes shit-stirring.

49) Wide-eyed defence of 48 by someone else who neither knows nor cares if there's any truth in said accusations, but can't resist sticking the boot in because they don't happen to like the accusee.
 
  

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