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Immoderation Task

We're The Great Old Ones Now

09:30 / 29.07.02

You have one pending immoderation task. You must make the world less ho-hum in some way today. Then you will report.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

11:10 / 29.07.02

One of the library computers seems to automatically log on to someone's Yahoo messenger ID every time it boots up. Heh heh heh...

11:16 / 29.07.02

Ariadne did a 64 (sixty-four) mile bike ride in aid of breast cancer research yesterday, which I thought was worth mentioning but she thought might not fulfil the thread's abstract. While it might not make the world stranger, it could make it better.

I have just posted 35,000 words of a novel to a literary agent in That London. The book is about, in alphabetical order, alchemy, amnesia, angels, bewitchery, bombs, bonking, cabbalah, conspiracy, and court intrigue.

While it won't make the world better, if it gets published it will certainly make it stranger.

12:08 / 29.07.02

Just convinced my faculty to cough up two telephones, a fridge and a coffee maker for our postgraduate office. Telephones and coffee maker are now in place, fridge is being delivered next week.

Current Anti-Ho-Hum Score at the university which must not be named:
PhD's: 1 Faculty: 0

This makes the world stranger because nothing adds weirdness to your day like a horde of caffeine-crazed PhD students on the phone.

Oh, and the coffee maker's name is Fred.

ONLY NICE THINGS

12:53 / 29.07.02

Giving in to the sweltering heat of the city, I am currently in my office, largely naked. Which is fine except for when I have to make the dash for a cup of coffee or sign for something.

13:24 / 29.07.02

I have just composed and handed in my letter of resignation from the best job I've ever had. To Hell with ho hum, say I. I want to live life in the fast lane, or in NW10 anyway...

ONLY NICE THINGS

13:27 / 29.07.02

That's the spirit, man! Now get naked in your office and enjoy a celebratory cigar!

Very, very, carefully.

13:29 / 29.07.02

Well done Zocher! Yesterday has certainly made my world more tender, if not more strange. My keyword for today is 'ouch'.

13:34 / 29.07.02

Im gearing up to vomit, quite loudly, in the main kitchen area. attempting to hold off til lunchtime

...have I mentioned that I despise my coworkers?

14:23 / 29.07.02

Im gearing up to vomit, quite loudly, in the main kitchen area. attempting to hold off til lunchtime

Don't vomit in the kitchen - take a dump in there instead. And then blame someone else. That would make the world a stranger place, or at least the office an emptier place.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:31 / 29.07.02

Unfortunately I haven't been able to do anything too strange today- I've been staying in with a friend who's waiting for his credit card to be delivered to my address because they can never find his. Will try and do some weird shit at work tonight though.

btw. ZoCher- congratulations.

Jack The Bodiless

14:53 / 29.07.02

I have been walking the streets of Southampton for the last twenty minutes with a large electric fan in each hand (around 2.5ft by 1.5ft each on their bases). From time to time, as particularly boggling people walked or drove past, I pretended to 'shoot them up' with the cool, directed air of my passion for them, Doc Holliday stylee!

VROOM! VROOM! Two little old ladies felt the whirring might of my spinning-steel pistols of Love!

VROOM! A beemer, with impatient, sweaty, besuited goon on a mobile within, was the target of a cunning spin-and-fire-from-under-a-swiftly-raised-left-leg manouevre that had a small puddle of scantily-clad squirrels nearby crowing at my devastating Panache D'Amour!

Underneath the street, the beach!

Yes! Blue flowers to y'all...

15:02 / 29.07.02

During the weekend my housemates and I agreed on fixing a plaque in the front wall of our house saying "We Sell [popular brazilian candy]". Only we don't. Twice already people rang asking for candy, and we said we didn`t sell it. "But the plaque says you do". "Yeah, we know. But we don't". It's gonna get increasingly disturbing and not funny, I know. Sooner or later we'll remove the plaque.

15:41 / 29.07.02

I am currently in my office, largely naked

As opposed to minusculely so? Your turn of phrase has evoked an alarming vision, somewhere between Gulliver's Travels and Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman. Why do you become larger when nakeder? Should we see this as a good thing?

My world is now a stranger place indeed.

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:45 / 29.07.02

No, Bill. I don't get larger when I'm naked. You get smaller. You're experiencing a relativistic effect.

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:45 / 29.07.02

No, Bill. I don't get larger when I'm naked. You get smaller. You're experiencing a relativistic effect.

07:34 / 30.07.02

I'm in my office, basking in the sultry heat and letting the heady mix of jubilation and guilt (at ZoCher's Big Life-Changing Moment) wash over me.

08:21 / 30.07.02

i knew i'd done something interesting yesterday (when this thread first appeared) - sent my article on the radical dairy off to diva magazine. it's publication will hopefully make the world both stranger and better - as the mag's readership will see that they can make - instead of buy - their own fun.

as sarah schulman said - one act of resistance every day. so what am i going to do today? not sure yet, but i have figured out that one of my cats is probably deaf, something i don't think my landlady is aware of, so i will thinking of how to make the little one's life better.

11:04 / 30.07.02

yesterday i made the journey from bethnal green to stratford carrying a four-foot wide head of ganesa constructed from paint, clothes and plastic cups. it's not a long journey but it made life stranger for my fellow pedestrians and tube passengers

17:27 / 30.07.02

I was sad, twitchy, and skipping work yesterday because I had a splitting headache. I re-read The Bell Jar cover to cover first thing after waking up, and it made me feel a wee bit odd and hermity.

I then tried to leave my house in order to get coffee, and freaked the hell out of everyone around me by being very quiet, embarrassed and creepily apologetic. I snatched my latte from the counter (after having paid, and after having apologized to the staff at the cafe 50 million times for no reason, and with hand motions, and I only snatched it 'cause I thought they were all looking at me funny and laughing) and walked home. Upon arriving home, I took a sip of my beverage and realized that I had taken it before they'd had a chance to put the espresso in. I gnashed my teeth and wept with frustration, knowing that I was lacking the internal togetherness to return to the cafe and admit that I was a big idiot. It was tragic. And I think that I spread my crazy recluse vibes to everyone in range...

I'm at work today, but don't think that I should be. I've been hissing really loudly all day in order not to start swearing at the top of my lungs. The hissing is freaking people out, but it's also getting me lots of sympathetic back-rubs, so it all balances out.