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Don't know if it's quite the same problem, but I've been in a similar situation, a dating relationship that actually became more of a "friends w/benefits" deal. It was all really weird. I liked the person in question a great deal and really enjoyed her company. She also turned me on and I greatly enjoyed the physical side of our relationship. For some reason, though, I didn't really feel a romantic connection. I kept on w/it for a while, waiting to see if I'd come around, but I never did. I let her know as soon as I was pretty sure that I wasn't, and probably would never be, in love w/her, but that I was comfortable about sustaining whatever type of interpersonal relationship she wanted as long as she was aware of that fact. She took it rather well, considering that she told me that she was starting to fall in love w/me (yikes...). We pulled back a bit to just being friends. Which worked really well because we were, at the height of our relationship, pretty much best friends anyway. But the physical attraction was still undeniably there and we became "friends w/benefits". Which can (I'm still convinced) work really well as long as both parties are on the same page...which, it's safe to say now, we most certainly were not. In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea in this particular situation. We became roommates (not "living together", but still probably an incredibly dumb thing to do). Things went well for a while and we maintained our "benefits", but that eventually petered off (absolutely no crude puns intended). At any rate, she met another guy, and I was completely supportive about it, but she still started to resent my being around so much. I tried to absent myself as much as possible to alleviate tensions, but it didn't work. Things ended badly. We patched it up as well as we could, but we were never really normal around one another again after that.
Um. Basically, you should probably figure out where this guy stands and make sure you're on the same page. Otherwise, you're probably in for some hurt down the road and the possible end of a friendship. I don't think that has to happen, though, if you're both open and honest about what you want. |
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