Tom Bombalith's Song
Ganeshauser:
Ho! Tom Bombalith, Tom Bombalithie!
By ZoCher, trijhaos and nick, by the reedcourchie and kittie,
By naked flame, rizla and mordant, harken now and hear us!
Come, Tom Bombalith, for our need is near us!
Tom Bombalith:
Old Tom Bombalith is a merry fellow,
Bright blue his trousers are, and his boots are yellow.
None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master:
His web-fu is the stronger web-fu, and his fingers are faster.
Wake now my merry lads! Wake and hear me calling!
Warm now lime shower gel! The cold stone is fallen;
Dark door is standing wide; dead hand is broken.
Night under peace mango has flown, and the Gate is open!
Hey! now! Come hoy now! Whither do you wander?
Up, down, near or far, here, there or yonder?
Lurid, Monkey, Swish and Pruncekin,
Moominstoat my little lad, and old Fatty Lumpkin!
[with apologies to Mr Tolkien]
An expert writes -
The song which appears above is taken from the little known barbelithion, an unpublished addition to the Middle Earth sequence. Tolkien was forced to include more references to Tom Bombalith due to the influence of a elephant-headed god who appeared to him in the pub one day.
References the casual reader may not pick up on include the trousers of the second stanza, which are generally considered to be an allusion to the leather trousers of sax, a mystical item of apparel, which gave the wearer incredible powers of sexual attraction.
The 'dead hand' of the third stanza is thought to be a reference to RSI, a common complaint of Tom's followers. No-one yet though has managed to work out who the 'fatty lumpkin' reference is meant to allude to, although German scholars have suggested it may refer to the odd state of one's seat after sitting in front of a monitor for too long. |
