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Truly bizarre and frightening headlines...

  
 
Abigail Blue
16:37 / 12.07.02
From CNN.com today:

99 alien meat-eating fish snagged in pond.
 
 
bitchiekittie
16:40 / 12.07.02
thats right here, baby. people are freaking out. and rightly so - am I the only person that didnt know that there were fish who could walk and breathe outta water?
 
 
Abigail Blue
16:52 / 12.07.02
I knew that. I just didn't know that they were called ALIEN MEAT-EATING FISH!
 
 
tracypanzer
17:06 / 12.07.02
'No charges were filed against the owner of the two original fish, whom police would not identify, because the statute of limitations has expired. '

So what is the statute of limitations for dumping flesh-eating fish into a lake?
 
 
bitchiekittie
17:07 / 12.07.02
they just eat fish - dont most fish eat fish?
 
 
bitchiekittie
17:18 / 12.07.02
these fish get really big

the threat they could impose on local waters is bad enough - they are also quite goddamn creepy. I like 'em

  
 
w1rebaby
17:33 / 12.07.02
Sesame Street's HIV+ Muppet
 
 
Stone Mirror
19:40 / 12.07.02
fridgemagnet inexplicably refers us to Sesame Street's HIV+ Muppet which, according to the story, "doesn't have a name yet".

Are you suggesting that they should call it "Snakehead"?

It'll never fly.
 
 
Stone Mirror
19:41 / 12.07.02
I don't see why people are so worked up over these fish, anyway. How many aliens could they possibly eat?
 
 
Cherry Bomb
09:17 / 13.07.02
More to the point, what is so frightening about unveiling an HIV+ muppet?

I heard this and thought it was great. I briefly spent some time working with a bunch of pre-schoolers who either had HIV/AIDS, or one or both of their parents did. From my own experience, I think it would be great for those kids to have something like that to identify with.
 
 
w1rebaby
10:45 / 13.07.02
It's not frightening, unless you are a prejudice or poorly informed muppet I suppose, but I think it's pretty bizarre.
 
 
Baz Auckland
10:35 / 07.08.02
From today's "Hamilton Spectator"

Crack Fuelled Killer: Cops


which just makes me picture crack-fuelled cops running around, which apparently isnt the case.
 
 
sleazenation
11:43 / 07.08.02
on the non-native species (note: not nonnative, despite what websters 10th edition might have you believe) front presonally i prefer the story of American pond enthusiuasts importing walking catfish for their pond - when their ponds got too full the catfish just climbed out and installed themselves in the local river system- attempts to poision them failed cos where ever the posion was mintroduced the fish would leave.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
11:48 / 07.08.02
Yes... also in fish-fancy circles it is well known that the electric catfish will, if given the opportunity, climb out of the tank and into the neighbours' garden pond, where it will give the neighbours' darling offspring nasssty electric shocks.
 
 
Bear
12:06 / 07.08.02
Not very funny but I thought the headline on the Sun today was horrible..
 
 
Sax
12:34 / 07.08.02
"Crack fuelled killer: Cops"

Does this mean he went to a nightclub and got lucky?

Or does that only mean something in Wigan?
 
 
gridley
13:03 / 07.08.02
Not everyone is afraid of the snakefishhead alien monstrosity, Quite to the contrary...
They're not monsters! They're good with noodles!"
 
 
Baz Auckland
21:36 / 31.10.03
...from the department of 'Headlines that Make You Spit Your Drink on the Monitor:'

Rumsfeld Doesn't Know if He's Lost His Mojo
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
14:24 / 01.11.03
That is truly awesome.

My favourite headline of last week was when a guy had busted his ankle while out tending his llamas, which then attacked the crew of the air ambulance that came to get him...

"Llama farmer drama".

Beautiful. (I think it was the Mirror, but I'm not sure.)
 
 
William Sack
16:16 / 01.11.03
A friend-of-a-friend told me about this one, so...

In some medical publication there was a regular column called something like "A Doctor as Patient" where a doctor would give his or her account of receiving medical treatment. One doctor gave an account of undergoing surgery to his hernia and the subsequent unpleasant complications. It ran under the headline "Top Doc in Gut-Drop Op Shock."
 
 
Baz Auckland
17:51 / 21.11.03
For frightening headlines: "Trade tensions mount between U.S., world"

Ah... unilateralism at its finest...
 
 
Baz Auckland
15:54 / 08.12.03
On the front page of today's Hamilton Spectator:

"White Monster kills 10 in U.S."

...they mean the snowstorm, but first impressions were of a Yeti rampaging through America...
 
 
veghead
13:56 / 09.12.03
How about:

Eat worms - feel better
 
 
Abigail Blue
14:14 / 20.03.04
Oh, CNN.com: I love you for your crazy headlines.

Man stopped at airport with seal's head in luggage.
 
 
astrojax69
01:37 / 27.10.05
pope rates german chances

he also fancies the diva in the cup
 
 
Shrug
15:10 / 28.12.05
Whether completely accurate or not having just watched Batman Begins and having previously been blissfully unaware of the real life existence of weaponised hallucinogens this headline scared me more than a little.

Link
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:24 / 18.01.08
You've got to admit, Livingstone: I can't stop the killings is pretty good.

Think that article must have been syndicated, because I saw it in one of the UK nationals last week, but a Google search only turned up the Doha Times.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:25 / 18.01.08
Boris Johnson accused him of treating the killings as if they happened on another planet.

Pot calling the pot "pot."
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:29 / 18.01.08
Indeed. But I'm more concerned with the mental image I have of Ken trying somehow to balance his serial killing with his newt farming. At some point, the two HAVE to conflict, right? With, I'd hope, hilarious consequences.
 
  
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