Anyone who has seen \"Theatre of Blood\" or \"Seven\" will know what I\'m after here. Executions where the instrument of death or the manner in which the victim is delivered to their doom is fiendishly appropriate to a prominent part of their life or personality. Let\'s have a go at some occupations...
How to Kill an Author, Publisher, Literary Critic, Academic or Print Engineer:
The victim is dangled over a bottomless pit (or a den of lions/crocodiles/sharks). He prevents his own fall by holding on to the end of a sheet of continuous-feed paper which has been fed through a printer linked up to a computer. The murderer prints the word \"AARGGGGHHHHHHH!\" sideways in an enormous black font, thus lowering the victim in pixel increments into the carnivores\' jaws (for best effect print a letter at a time with long pauses between) or using up the entire stock of paper - sending him falling to his doom and quoting loudly from the last publication he\'ll ever read.
Add your own, comment/expand upon others and set a challenge if you wish. New posts don\'t have to answer previous challenges. If you get stumped by the occupation thing, just make any old thing up, as long as it's juicy and contrived. |
