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Bullshit Artists Needed: Apply Within

00:37 / 28.06.02

So there's this job that I really, really want. The job title is "Youth-Business Mentoring Program Neighborhood Staff Member." It's basically working for a non-profit working as a liason between area businesses and local teens. The pay's good, the hours don't suck & I really need a goddamn job--fast! But as you can tell by the overly-verbose job title, I need to write this in bureaucratic, bullshit-ese. Seeing as Barbelith is absolutly riddled with talented people who no doubt have greater finesse with such matters than I, I'd appreciate your help. The truth is that I can use all the help I can get with the application questions I have to return the job application & resume with. And those questions would happen to be...

1) Describe your experience working with at-risk teens.
2) Describe your experience and ability to lead training sessions.
3) Detail your experience making oral presentations to individuals and groups.
4) What experience do you have finding jobs for teens or other clients?
5) Describe your computer skills.
6) Briefly describe what you believe are the advantages and disadvantages of employment for 14-16 year old at-risk youth.

And speaking of "the truth", don't let that get in your way.

Basically, I'll just take your responses and tailor them to my own specifications/background. Thanks, y'all are

Less searchable M0rd4nt

07:07 / 28.06.02

I dunno... say you worked for a youth outreach project in Latvia or somewhere. Who's gonna check?

What the hell do they mean anyway? Is it one of thee things where the kids get a new pair of jeans provided they go out stickering? Are you... selling... stuff?

09:59 / 28.06.02

MC Mordant wrote: What the hell do they mean anyway? Is it one of thee things where the kids get a new pair of jeans provided they go out stickering? Are you... selling... stuff?

Hell no or I wouldn't even be applying. Personally, I'm a fond and ardent supporter of the Lloyd Dobler School of Business*. Like I said, I'd be setting up jobs at area businesses for teens in the program. This program being one of many that this particular non-profit organization runs here. And if these "at-risk teens" are screwing up their jobs, I'd be the one railing on their asses to get their shit together. And no, I can't tell them I've done this sort've thing in another country. Long story, and not a very interesting one at that.

What are you talking about? What's stickering and why would anyone do it for a measly pair of jeans?

* Lloyd Dobler: "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

11:30 / 28.06.02

I think Mordant's talking about viral marketing and so on.

Can't help you otherwise as I have no idea about working with teens... why not start with the question about your computer skills and work from there? At least you don't need to bullshit too much for that one...

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

15:32 / 28.06.02

E-mail me with what you HAVE done and I'll spruce it up for you. Seeing as how I'm the director of a group home for teenaged boys, I might know what they are looking for.