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Barbeloids on medication

 
  

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Ganesh
23:50 / 27.06.02
'Medication' being, in this instance, the Official Euphemism for prescribed psychotropics: antidepressants, antipsychotics, anxiolytics, and so on. Think of this as the shoutier, more obnoxious little brother of 'Beyond Anti-Psychiatry', down in the Head Shop.

This time it's personal...

Drugs, psychosis, angst and depression are, it would appear, favourite topics among the assembled Barbeloids. When we discuss those who prescribe and treat, however, it's probably not too much of an overgeneralisation to say we adopt a faintly anti-authoritarian tone. We don't like to be pigeon-holed, we resist labelling, we speculate darkly on the sociopolitical machinations of those who devise the diagnostic categories. Several of us are (quite reasonably) critical of individual prescribers or, more commonly, the "sick" system in which they operate.

A lightning dash through the board's current hot topics yields a sampling which I don't think is horribly unrepresentative...

Rage:

Personality disorders are bullshit.

Elijah D Blogfaker:

Drugs are fun, but drugs prescribed for being sad, that's just silly... if you want drugs for fun, more power to ya. If you NEED drugs for any reason, that's not healthy.

Shortfatdyke:

My main whinge against the mental health care system in this country (England) has always been the emphasis on drugs when talking would've done me amd others I know so much more good.

Abigail Blue agrees with SMatthewStolte that:

... folk can, and usually do, cure themselves. As he said, though, both he (and I) had systems to deal with what we were going through, and we had knowledge of those systems because of having done a lot of reading, and/or because of our privileged status as intelligent people.

She qualified this, saying that most people

... haven't been given these options, and they don't know where to start looking for them.

and elsewhere

... there aren't a whole lot of resources for people who don't want to be medicated or subjected to analysis.

The latter point, in particular, interests me. It sounds perfectly plausible - intuitive, even - that those without the academic or practical means to access 'alternative' support systems are more likely to seek 'traditional' medical treatment - complete with the (presumed) stigma of being labelled by the psychiatric orthodoxy. Conversely, those intelligent and educated enough to access the wide range of alternatives - meditation, yoga, pilates, chakra-balancing, cognitive reframing, Neuro-Linguistic-Programming, and so on - should be less likely to be seeing doctors and/or taking psychotropics.

Yes?

My anecdotal experience of fellow Barbeloids - both online and in Real Life - doesn't seem to bear this out. I'd hazard that everyone here is of at least 'average' intelligence, has at least nominal access to the Internet and, through this board alone, has been exposed to a dazzlingly eclectic array of different worldviews (in The Magic alone), all of which supply frameworks for making sense of our experiences.

Why, then, do I get the distinct impression that the average poster here is more likely than most to be (or have been) on psychotropic medication, or to have past or present contact with medical/psychiatric/psychology/counselling services?

Am I mistaken? Is there a particularly vocal minority? Are we more obsessively introspective than most, where mental illness is concerned?

Why, in an intelligent online community with vaguely anti-authoritarian leanings and relative freedom of access to many (much sexier) alternatives, are so many of us on medication?
 
 
Ganesh
23:52 / 27.06.02
Oh yeah, and I want to emphasise that I'm not referring directly to the posters I've quoted above, mmkay?
 
 
The Monkey
04:05 / 28.06.02
Label me: I'm on meds.

It took a very long time to admit that I had a problem that required meds and therapy, and it was no cakewalk. All of the smart people around me, my family and friends, pressed hard for me *not* to try them, because of the shame, the admission of a lack of control. Do you think it is *easy* to make a decision while your closest kin heap derision on you? Tell you to try for a twelfth year of boot-strap methodology? I've actually lost track of the number of alternative therapies I tried: anything was okay as long as it wasn't head-shrinking.

In my experience for every person with a "Vitamin P" mentality there are three who think that people using medication are weak, undisciplined, or just lacking spine...and are very loud and very personal in their pressing of this point. On a rare occasion they might be right, but more often than not the message and the presentation is counterproductive to aiding a troubled individual.
 
 
The Monkey
04:28 / 28.06.02
Did I mention precisely how un-funny the comment about schizophrenia being mystical was?
 
 
gravitybitch
05:41 / 28.06.02
To answer the abstract: because none of the above kept me from popping awake at 2:30AM in tears or spending the next 4 and a half hours continuing to cry pretty much nonstop without being able to figure out why...

Why, in an intelligent online community with vaguely anti-authoritarian leanings and relative freedom of access to many (much sexier) alternatives, are so many of us on medication?

Maybe because even though we might have access to a bigger buffet of choices, the established and accepted choices are bigger and shinier?

Maybe there's a streak of "I want to fuck with my own head and this is a legal way of experimenting; I get to use The Establishment's tools for my own ends and they'll never know it!"

Maybe we are more introspective, more dissatisfied with our state of being in the world?
 
 
SMS
05:51 / 28.06.02
Well, I do know people who have had good experiences with medication as well as those who have not. People will tell you it worked for them. People will tell you that there's scientific research that it does often work. People will tell you why it should theoretically work. It has a lot going for it.

Then again, I've never really been able to honestly ask for the man to be damned.

Bless the man.
 
 
that
05:57 / 28.06.02
A lot of us have access to the sort of world view that makes psychiatric drugs an option. A lot of us on here *think* a hell of a lot, and, to paraphrase iszabelle, Barbelith does seem to attract people who are pretty introspective, pretty dissatisfied with ourselves and (understandably) our world... I think that probably has something to do with it...
 
 
that
06:00 / 28.06.02
Things seem unbearable. Drugs seem to help. Basically, I think that can be about the bottom line, sometimes... also, there can be (allegedly) a sense, in therapy at least, that you are being listened to... which is pretty damn rare for most people.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
06:58 / 28.06.02
Bit of a vexed question, this. I was on Prozac back in the Antedeluvian days when I was a teenager; I would debate now whether I was, in fact, depressed, but I was certainly presenting as a depressed person. The real problems in my book were unemployment, bullying, and what turned out to be epilepsy.

I am not on any head medicines and haven't been since I got my first real job, apart from a couple of brief lapses. (To be strictly honest, I am on Carbamazipine to control my epilepsy and this does have a marked mood-stabilizing effect.) I actually do resort to non-orthodox methods to cope with my problems-- I use chaos magick. Mostly visualization and metitation with the occasional sigil thrown in. My next small project is going to be a Confidence servitor, a little critter to sit on my shoulder and whisper ego-boosting nothings into my ear. ('Course, some people would want to call the Men in White Coats out just for that last sentence...)

The trouble with things like yoga, meditation and so on is that you have to do them regularly to get any benefits. A lot of mental illnesses play merry hell with a person's motivation: if you can't get out of bed in the morning, how then can you get to your yoga class and spend the next hour or two trying to get your ankles behind your ears? You might, however, be able to pop a pill from the bottle on the nightstand.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:30 / 28.06.02
I was on Prozac for a year or so... it really helped, gave me some space from everything and allowed me to remember what not being miserable was like- which made it a teensy bit easier to try and do it for myself after stopping the meds. Mordant's made a very good point- if you're bad enough to need any methods like those you've outlined, then you're probably gonna have problems mustering the motivation and the discipline.
 
 
Mazarine
15:30 / 28.06.02
Well if we're slapping on stickers, by all means. I'm on meds to treat anxiety disorder. I've been on three different SSRI's, and my psychologist and psychiatrist worked together to help me find one which would do me the most good.

This topic (in general, not this thread in particular) is one that really raises my ire. I have had friends who've basically said depression is bullshit, psychiatry is bullshit, people on meds are weaklings looking for an easy fix for their problems- oh, wait, we didn't mean you, dear. I had one friend who was certain that all my problems would be solved if I just read this one book on Shaolin, and that I should read said book post-haste and then dump my meds in the toilet. To say I'm fucking sick of all this would be a tremendous understatement.

I'm fed up with the implication- not necessarily from people here, but from people I've encountered- that my use of a psychopharmaceutical plunks me firmly in the no-one-understands-me my-life-is-so-hard poor-little-rich-camp. I'm not an idiot. I'm not weak. And I'm not blind. I'm an intelligent person who's actually getting the hang of looking after herself and making her own decisions. I wasn't just handed a bottle, told "Take this, you'll feel better," and I didn't just start popping away. I wouldn't have started taking something I wasn't comfortable taking.

The reason I'm on the med I'm on now is because while I was in New Orleans, I slowly but surely became virtually incapable of leaving my room. I just sat in bed all day on my lap top surfing the CDC website, looking up diseases and then trying to convince myself I didn't have them. It could have been worse, yes, but at the time it was hell, being blinded by fear twenty four hours a day when there was really not that much to be afraid of.

No, my meds don't solve all my problems. I'm still famous among those who know me for worrying and fretting. I still lie awake worrying about various things- relationships, money, life, happiness, the same things I imagine people who aren't on medications worry about. But at least I can leave the damn house.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
18:50 / 28.06.02
I actually do resort to non-orthodox methods to cope with my problems-- I use chaos magick.

Myself as well. Sex magick kicks ass for giving yourself a boost of confidence. I'm aware of the danger of connecting confidence/self-respect and other people's attraction/opinions of me too closely in my head, so you've got to keep a clear mind for it, but it works.

A lot of mental illnesses play merry hell with a person's motivation: if you can't get out of bed in the morning, how then can you get to your yoga class and spend the next hour or two trying to get your ankles behind your ears? You might, however, be able to pop a pill from the bottle on the nightstand.

Yes! Yes. Very true. It wasn't that I couldn't meditate or go to a yoga class, or even just get up and out of bed to make sure I don't fail out of school, but that there was no point to trying because I would invariably fail (or so I thought). Depression also fucks with your concentration. I remember studying for my philosophy exam, wondering why it was taking so long to understand the essays when I usually just have to read something once to immediately grasp the central ideas. Trying to learn advanced mathmatics while going through a deep depression is incredibly difficult. And frustrating when you're used to being able to pick it up just by watching someone else do it once or twice.

These are not the best times to attempt many non-orthodox treatments, especially magick. You just don't have the proper amount of energy or concentration to make it at all effective.

Pills, on the other hand, are great when you're at this point. So easy, and with such powerful results. In my case, anyway. My medication (Wellbutrin) is essentially a bundle of potent side effects, and I just pick out the ones I want and try to control the ones I don't. It's that easy. Now, I can use the non-orthodox treatments for general upkeep pretty easily.
 
 
w1rebaby
19:09 / 28.06.02
I would say that the majority of my friends of similar age have at some time been on anti-depressants. It's a generational thing, perhaps. Anyone who's been to university in the past five years is likely to have (a) had problems with stress and (b) been prescribed A-Ds by their GP. That's not even to consider the situation in the States.

Given that I see A-Ds as a part of an overall treatment programme, just like therapy or exercise or anything else, I would think that those who were open-minded to the use of drugs would be more likely to accept it as part of "treatment" or just as a part of life. I'm sure, Ganesh, you are aware of the need to medicalise A-Ds so that patients don't think that they're taking "drugs" but rather "medicine" - surely it's more likely that someone who has more of a neutral attitude towards drugs would be more open to the idea.

The common scepticism towards the use of A-Ds, in my mind, comes from the realisation that they [i]are[/i] a component of treatment rather than a treatment in themselves. It seems obvious that taking Prozac is not like taking antibiotics - it doesn't cure anything in itself - but many GPs will just bung someone onto A-Ds and leave them there. Any long-term modification to your personality comes from you, though it can be aided by the use of pharmaceuticals, and patients realise this after a while and can feel cheated.
 
 
bitchiekittie
19:12 / 28.06.02
for me personally, pills didnt do anything but exacerbate the situation. why was I on them? because Id hit a point where, even if things were going ok, Id wake up and spend the entire morning at my desk with tears rolling down my face. every day. it was a monumental effort just to function - the idea of actually living was beyond my ability. if something genuinely stressful happened – as it inevitably does - I would fall apart. I began cutting, then stabbing myself. never badly enough to really need medical attention, but enough that it got to a point where I couldnt hide it anymore. nothing anyone could do or say could change my misery or my behavior. the drugs only served to make things worse, so after about a year and a half I went cold turkey one day and set about changing my life. although I still have the occasional anxiety attack and a swiftly moving bout with depression, its made a solid difference
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:36 / 28.06.02
I'm fed up with the implication- not necessarily from people here, but from people I've encountered- that my use of a psychopharmaceutical plunks me firmly in the no-one-understands-me my-life-is-so-hard poor-little-rich-camp.

Sadly, that's a common enough line. In the real world, of course, you're more likely to become mentally unwell if you come from the poorer levels of society, but until the people that write about the topic in the general media get their noses out of the sodding Guardian Weekend the same old stereotypes are going to continue to be propagated. Maybe if the journalists that come out with this crap actually had some working-class mates....
 
 
w1rebaby
19:44 / 28.06.02
In the real world, of course, you're more likely to become mentally unwell if you come from the poorer levels of society

...and, these days, you're likely to be medicated for it and not given counselling, because medication is relatively cheap and easy and therapy is oversubscribed. Interesting thought - might it become in the future a stigma that you've been treated with pills? Because that means you're poor and couldn't afford therapy? I can see that happening.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
20:02 / 28.06.02
Not me. Therapy, or at least talking to a psychiatrist, didn't help much, because I knew what the problem was, but I couldn't make my brain produce the chemicals I wanted. Which is kind of weird, because I'm sure I'm the guy who made it stop in the first place.
 
 
Thjatsi
20:21 / 28.06.02
Surprisingly, the people on this board who are on medication, or have been in the past, are the ones that I've always thought of as being the most stable.
 
 
Ganesh
20:58 / 28.06.02
Several personal accounts there (many raising side-points I'll shortly explore in more depth) and some people addressing my more general query.

I'd say that Abigail's theory isn't really borne out by the posts here: although Barbelith posters, on the whole, would fulfil her criteria of being intelligent, well-read and open to alternative treatment options, it seems the majority would use those alternatives to a limited extent only before adopting more familiar/'orthodox' psychopharmaceutical methods. Are we to conclude, then, that the likes of meditation, yoga, pilates, etc. are of less use in addressing unhappiness/anxiety/adversity?

Do any of you feel that, by accepting the remedies of the prevailing medico-psychiatric orthodoxy, you're 'buying into' that orthodoxy? Does acceptance of a specific medication mean acceptance of the corresponding 'illness' label (for example, does taking an antidepressant or antipsychotic drug imply you've accepted a diagnosis of 'depression' or 'psychosis')? If not, why not? Do you feel any sense of dissonance with your anti-authoritarian stance? Are you compromised in any way?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
21:04 / 28.06.02
the people on this board who are on medication, or have been in the past, are the ones that I've always thought of as being the most stable.

Joiiiin ussss.... it's bliiiiisssssss.....
 
 
w1rebaby
21:10 / 28.06.02
Do any of you feel that, by accepting the remedies of the prevailing medico-psychiatric orthodoxy, you're 'buying into' that orthodoxy?

Yes, but by accepting any medical treatment that's not specifically requested by yourself, you are buying into or accepting a paradigm anyway.

The question should be - are you buying into an orthodoxy that you would otherwise reject? And why? Because it seems to work? (In which case, why reject it in the first place?) Out of desperation?

What worries me is that psychiatric drugs are becoming more and more part of the structure of everyday life. Because we can cope with certain psychic stress with the aid of medication, that is becoming a reasonable expectation to put on people. In the same way that you're expected to work through colds and flu because of paracetamol, will people be expected to undergo a greater degree of stress than before because they can just take Paxil?

I've said before that western capitalism would collapse without caffeine and alcohol....
 
 
Ganesh
06:22 / 29.06.02
Thanks for reframing my questions, Fridgemagnet. I'm interested in your colds/flu analogy... of course, one major difference there is that colds typically last a matter of days and paracetamol provides more or less instant symptomatic relief - whereas antidepressants take weeks or months to produce an effect, so one assumes the "psychic stress" would have to be more chronic/ongoing to justify their (presumably less symptomatic and more long-term) use.

The other difficulty with using 'stress' as an alternative yardstick to 'illness' is quantifying the slippery li'l bugger. What's a "reasonable" amount of stress? Does this topic merit a thread of its own?
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
17:16 / 30.06.02
Does acceptance of a specific medication mean acceptance of the corresponding 'illness' label (for example, does taking an antidepressant or antipsychotic drug imply you've accepted a diagnosis of 'depression' or 'psychosis')? If not, why not? Do you feel any sense of dissonance with your anti-authoritarian stance? Are you compromised in any way?

I'll take the label of "someone who suffers from Major Depression". I resisted medication to avoid the stigma I saw associated with people on medication for this sort of thing, but when I finally realized that I couldn't fix this myself, I decided to try the doctor's advice. I guess the choice was easy because I really didn't have anything against doctors aside from them charging an obscene amount of money.

An odd side-effect (not from the medication so much as the actual taking of the medication) is a fear of missing a dose. I have to admit that things in general feel better now, I feel better, and I don't want to go back to feeling like I used to. I don't see that happening any time soon, but it spooks me the same.

In case you were wondering, I did not change the word "stigmata" to "stigma", it was always stigma, I am not a crackhead.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:12 / 30.06.02
I'm actually going to the doctor tomorrow for, among other reasons, being put back on the fluoxetine, for reasons I can't actually be arsed to go into at the moment (but I will if I ever develop any motivation). Call me lazy if you will, but at the moment it seems like a good way to not wake up crying every day. For no apparent reason. (Which is the scary part).
 
 
Ganesh
22:06 / 30.06.02
You don't fancy getting yourself referred on to someone who might help you discover the "reason"...?
 
 
Lurid Archive
23:05 / 30.06.02
I've never been on medication or seen a counselor but I have been through some quite scary depressions. I'd probably call myself a depressive, but I'm not sure of how much value that kind of self diagnosis is.

With contrast to others, I never avoided treatment because of stigma (though I may be rationalising) and I have sometimes been positively encouraged to get help. I still am, on occasion. I haven't even sought out alternative treatments and although I have always engaged in heavy, obsessive self analysis, its not clear whether this is more of a symptom and a cause rather than a coping, healing mechanism.

Having said all that, I have no idea why people are so against the idea of medication for treating mental illness. So many of my friends have been depressives and if you see someone in pain like that, you want them to get better. I feel that discouraging someone from getting treatment for depression would be a bit like disapproval at my use of inhalers for asthma. Its true that treatments don't always work and that mental illness is not very well understood, but the suffering can be very real.

But I'm really interested in the correlation between intelligence and mental illness. My completely unjustified feeling is that the two are unrelated. I think that feelings of alienation often precede an anti authoritarian / alternative outlook, not vice versa. Moreover, intelligence is such a slippery concept that people often use to describe qualities that are not clearly about "brain power". For instance, it is often easier to acknowledge someone's intelligence if they easily articulate opinions that agree with your own.

Hmmm. This thread also brings up the whole issue of how an unorthodox viewpoint can be taken too far, especially if it is taken to be a good thing in and of itself. But thats straying off topic.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
23:05 / 30.06.02
I tried that before (for both depression and for alcoholism)- both times they seemed convinced I had a bad childhood. Nothing I could say could convince them otherwise.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
23:07 / 30.06.02
Sorry. My last was in response to Ganesh's post. Lurid just beat me to the buzzer.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
23:22 / 30.06.02
Touting for business, huh?

Something moominstoat says here is really pertinent. because what is traditionally available does and can in lots of cases work, and is a damn sight easier to access when (and thinking of myself at times rather than suggesting that this is mooom's POV/state of mind) one's barely got the inclination to get out of bed.

Antidepressants are easy to get ahold of. Or, the process of obtaining them does not require much investigation, research, money, time etc etc... in comparison to accessing information regarding alternatives, let alone the alternatives themselves. and is therefore alot more likely to happen at the times when you need help. researching alternatives takes perserverance, a long-term view, organisation, determination, self-starting etc. etc. Gettting help the conventional way requires a doctors appointment.

Also, at times, in order to keep on a course of medication/treatment. I've often found that i've needed pushing, certainly with things relating to depression; the whole scaryness of getting as far in admitting you need the medication can mean that good intentions regarding following such a course are hard to maintain.

I took st.johns wort for a while as utterly illogically i preferred it to taking chemically formulated SRIs. (yeah, i'm also the kind of person who fusses about healthy food yet smokes. oh yes) Buuuut, as there wasn't a doctor standing over me, checking up on me, etc, I found it really hard to keep taking them... apathy, forgetfullness, lakc of interest in taking care of self got in the way. Ie some of the very things it was meant to work on. And in the end took them so irreguarly so as to nullify any beneficial effects.

With prescribed antidepressants it somehow feels easier to keep on the course, and though I have slip ups, the reminders and structures around getting the medication seem to work against the apathy/attention span stuff. Possibly somewhere underneath, I take them more seriously because they're prescribed by a doctor!

To come back to nesh's original post:

"Why, then, do I get the distinct impression that the average poster here is more likely than most to be (or have been) on psychotropic medication, or to have past or present contact with medical/psychiatric/psychology/counselling services? "

"Am I mistaken? Is there a particularly vocal minority? Are we more "obsessively introspective than most, where mental illness is concerned? "

A few thoughts:

the conversation/community here lends itself to obsessive introspection where anything is concerned. You have, as you say, intelligent people, but intellingent *angsty* people. Perhaps what barbelith attracts is a particular arm of intelligence (which is a word that covers a multitude of talents and sins. are we talking academically? in terms of articulate-ness? life-skills? abstract reasoning? self-awareness?) that is given to deconstruction and introspection?

Also think 'vocal minority' is part of the answer, as possibly is your natural interest in conversations that revolve around these issues, which may make you give them more prominence than they deserve.

If I have limited time, and only hang around in the head shop, for example, i'm going to have a very different idea of what the 'barbep
-profile' is than if I hang around in Books, or the conversation. You mentioned a while ago that you were using Barbelith less, so possbily you're concentrating more on the stuff that interests/concerns you, rather than sweeping through the whole thing?

possibly also the medium and the environment in whcih many access it (work?) makes itself condusive to ranting about the grim stuff in people's lives. what people present is a particular slicde of themselves... and when we access the board, we make choices as to which topics we look at, it's not liek conversation in that respect, there are more filters.

the distrust of psychiatric othodoxy is possibly symptomatic of a more general distrust of orthodoxy, of a (self)-conscious choice to figure out a personal way of doing things, or a reactionary impulse 'against' orthodoxy. both of which are processes which place people under stress.

then add this stressful position to the massive overuse of terms like depression, where perhaps we mean sadness, or proportionate reaction to difficult situations, and the points that fridgemagnet's raised....

am v.tired and this is probably gibberish but will try and tidy it up later. just a few thoughts...
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
23:24 / 30.06.02
and the 'touting' comment was meant for 'nesh, obviously.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
23:34 / 30.06.02
The whole debate also raises the idea of "better living through chemistry"... you wanna have fun and dance, you take MDMA or speed. You wanna stay awake, caffeine'll do it. Why should any other aspect of life be any different? I've never seen the ingestion of chemicals as a remedy to be a bad thing.
On a converse note, my best friend refuses to take anything (we're talking physical illnesses here, but I think the point still stands) that's not "natural". She's always ill.
 
 
Wyrd
23:58 / 30.06.02
I've never been on medication, and never been to a counsellor, and I regularly question my sanity. I am prone to bouts of depression, but I think many people get that, and I've learned ways of dealing with it. Which probably means that it's not a huge problem...

I know plenty of people who've been on medication for depression, and other imbalances, and I would certainly encourage people to try them out if they have having problems dealing with everyday life. A lot of the time meds balance you out and allow you to get the sense of normalcy (though I'm not sure what that is!).

I don't see any shame to medication if it helps you sort yourself out.
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
00:51 / 01.07.02
I've been through some dark, dark times, but through it all I've looked at the need for medication as an absolute last resort. I personally would rather be struggling to stay afloat than leveled-out due to the introduction of some foreign chemical or other into my body. I don't think that that's a necessarily masochistic view (although it may at first seem so) because that's not to say that I prefer struggling over feeling well. It's just that I vastly prefer feeling well on my own terms, feeling that I can depend on my independent stability, to feeling dependent on some outside source in regards to the regulation of my mental health.

The last two years or so have been a high-water mark in terms of my mental health, and I can single out specific reasons as to why this is. My diet is better, I have a life outside of my home, I stay active and keep my mind occupied as much as possible, I quit a job that was becoming needlessly stressful, I moved from a town that had become like one huge piece of psychic baggage (and away from the constant scrutiny of my immediate family and other people who have known me my whole life, as if I need to say more about that), I stopped hanging out w/people that brought me nothing but heartache, and, perhaps most importantly, I worked (and have continued to work) long and hard at effecting some major paradigm shifts, adjusting myself to how, for better or worse, the world actually works.

Speaking from a position of absolutely no professional authority whatsoever, I'm convinced that the majority of depression stems from the less-than-satisfactory fit between people and society. Probably not a terribly earth-shattering or novel observation, but there you go. We're expected to behave in ways that are contrary to our nature, and that can be a horribly oppressive thing to face day after day. The trick (as I see it, anyway) is in both finding some way to deal with that and being able to live w/whatever method you find for coping. The simplest way to do that seems to be to chemically short out the source of that realization, to level yourself out to the point where those anxieties don't hold so much sway over you. It's exceptionally tempting, I'll admit, but it's always seemed like somewhat of a quick-fix when compared w/actually dealing w/a lot of that heavy shit and slogging your way through it (w/the help of others, if necessary). This is not to say that there aren't people who actually do have problems that need to be dealt w/through the use of medication, or that medication shouldn't be used on a relatively short-term basis in conjunction w/therapy, but I think that it's undeniable that a large number of people don't need to be on medication, or don't need to be on medication forever, to deal w/these kinds of problems.

As far as that's concerned, I'm lucid enough to realize that I don't have any major chemical imbalances that hold me back from functioning normally and, as such, I see no need to medicate myself, even if it might potentially make life a little easier to deal w/sometimes. Because it's much more important to me to feel dependent on myself as the source of my own stability.

I don't know. Ganesh? Am I talking out of my ass here? I've often wondered what the professional take on my uninformed opinion on the subject might be.
 
 
gravitybitch
02:05 / 01.07.02
Hmm. An acquaintance of mine used pretty much the same line of reasoning to me to explain why he was so afraid of SSRIs. (Not to imply that fear is Deric's underlying rationale at all, just very obviously H's...)

He used caffeine to propel himself forward, alcohol to slow down, pot for a variety of "reasons," as well as supplements that were supposed to boost serotonin levels, but refused to consider SSRIs because "they messed with brain chemistry." I think it might have been the taint of orthodoxy that made him run, as well as the possibility of having to submit to an outside authority... (I suggested a number of resources for counseling to him while he was sleeping in my living room, but he only went to the ones that he was certain wouldn't live up to his high standards for treatment.)

Personally, I don't view SSRIs as a last resort, just as heavy artillery. I consider drugs of all sorts to be tools and I am a proud tool user, but drugs are not the only thing in my box of coping skills...

Basically, I'm using this period of being on medication to build a better base of self-understanding and good practices to support me when I go off the meds, and to see if I am lucky enough to be in the population of folks who find that one period of being on SSRIs adjusts their chemistry so as to not have problems with serious depression in the future.
 
 
grant
17:00 / 01.07.02
In some ways, mental illness ~= deviance, which in turn ~= "subcultural/invisible".
The site appeals to us what operate closer to the fringes of "normalcy" (whatever that is) for a variety of reasons, many of which have little to do with our choices in the matter. Operative questions: If I had my druthers, would I be a misfit? What price nonconformism?

For the record, I'm not on meds, and rarely take any (even for flu or headaches). I don't view taking meds as a sign of weakness, but I don't trust them, really. I've got close friends who are on antidepressants, and at least one close acquaintance, as close to baseline "normal" as anyone I know, who I personally think would really benefit from them if ze'd ever actually face hir problems.
 
  

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