As "half of a unit" upon which semi-detached status has been geographically forced for just over eight months, I read that with interest. Like you, Buk, I'm a little suspicious of the supposedly "growing trends" regularly uncovered by Sunday supplement lifestyle columnists. While committed-couple-living-apart status is hardly uncommon, as a permanent relationship model, I'd imagine it's pretty rare - especially if, like the couple in the article, one only sees one's partner at weekends.
In some ways, living apart has been easier than I'd expected: after the initial pain (and it was real, near-physical pain) of separation, we've settled into a routine. Fridays are bubbly with excitment, the four-and-a-half-hour journey seems negligible, much alcohol is consumed, we usually go out, sometimes dance. Saturdays we sleep until around midday, potter about on the computer, visit friends, see a film, etc. Sundays are miserable, both of us conscious of every minute bringing the evening closer, with its 'Brief Encounter' goodbyes.
Knowing it's temporary, we make the most of it - and 'stolen' weekdays, mobile 'phones and Barbelith all lighten the load. There's still a sense that we're both living a sort of half-life, however: socialising with 'non-couple' friends and work colleagues is relegated to the working week, and the relentless Edinburgh-London shuttling leaves little room for spontaneity.
I'm sure some people are sufficiently good at compartmentalisation to switch between 'work', 'relationship' and 'socialising' modes at ease. Not me. I can cope with a semi-detached relationship on a short-term basis but every part of me yearns to resume our old-fashioned co-dependent life. |
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