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The Barbelith Implant Science Fair

Persephone

13:29 / 14.06.02

In honor of Nick's brush with cyborgism...

First off, I can't leave mosquito bites alone so mine has to be put somewhere where I won't scratch myself bloody; I think it will be safe in my cranium. But it has a remote control, and it's programmable. And what it does is, it drops me right off to sleep at the push of a button and wakes me up gradually starting at, say, 5 or 6 AM, and fully alert at 7 AM. I suppose it has to be password-protected, to keep Husb from knocking me out just for laughs.

deja_vroom

13:32 / 14.06.02

I could use a big-ass flamethrower in my arm. You know, for parties.

deja_vroom

13:33 / 14.06.02

FFFFFFFWWWWWWWOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Trijhaos

13:37 / 14.06.02

I want a datajack like from Shadowrun. Yeah, that's the stuff. I wanna interface directly with the computer

Either that or something that'll let me control adrenaline and all that. Release it when I need it or something.

gozer the destructor

13:42 / 14.06.02

I want a really big head, yeah that's it, a really really big head, no bigger than that, no bigger, yeah, really big. Bigger than a moon, mwahahaha, big moon head, look at my big head, ha ha ha, head!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

13:55 / 14.06.02

I want something that'll stop me from forgetting my PIN.

Grey Area

14:07 / 14.06.02

I'll go the whole hog and have my head transplanted onto a full-body exoskeleton, complete with flamethrower, jump jets, sattelite navigaton, fax machine, day planner, 400-disc CD-changer, wireless internet, espresso maker and disco ball. All in a sleek titanium shell moulded with adonis-like muscles emblazoned with golden lightning bolts. Sweet.

Oh, and selectable x-ray, infra-red, visible-spectrum and magnetic anomaly vision as an optional extra.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:41 / 14.06.02

I want a big tank of intravenous booze somehow strapped to (or better yet replacing) one of my arms, along with something that would automatically get the rest of my body to go and replenish it occasionally.

Or failing that, an artificial liver that just doesn't die.

rizla mission

14:43 / 14.06.02

I want a direct brain/televsion screen interface for the immediate transference of thoughts into pictures.

Persephone

14:47 / 14.06.02

Suddenly I realize what it was like for my high school science teacher.

Not to stifle anyone's creativity.

The sleep thing, you know, I think is closer than one might think. There's some sort of chemical that was discovered in studies of narcoleptics, I forgot exactly how it works --either its presence or absence sends you directly to sleep. It's been developed into a drug --a pill, I think-- that military pilots use to keep awake for long periods of time. The cool thing is, there doesn't seem to be any jet lag or sleep deficit effect with this. That they've discovered yet, I suppose.

Saveloy

15:00 / 14.06.02

I want to be able to read books with my eyes closed. So some sort of eyelid projection device, or maybe just contact lenses, so that I don't have to hold the bloody book whilst I'm trying to lie down. Pages will be 'turned' back or forth by wriggling the toes on the appropriate foot. Speed of page turn determined by speed of wriggle.

Chuckling Duck

15:07 / 14.06.02

Little nanomechanical symbiotes that race around my body repairing my telomeres and killing anomalous cells and viruses. And a pop-up antenna that lets me communicate telepathically with cats.

Saveloy

15:09 / 14.06.02

I might have mentioned this one before but: the ability to eat and taste anything - coal, glass, steel, wool, wood, poisonous plants in a radioactive sauce - and live. Not only that, but I think we should be able to process said materials and crap out useful products.

grant

16:24 / 14.06.02

Remote camera receiver.

So I could just check in on the house, or the next room, or watch myself having sex.

Tom Coates

10:29 / 15.06.02

test

We're The Great Old Ones Now

13:12 / 15.06.02

I want HeadMail. I want HotSynched Encyclopaedic knowledge on tap. I want secure networking for the brain.

More realistically, I want greater control over the autonomic nervous system, energy, mood, metabolism.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

13:43 / 15.06.02

i want to be able to turn off my pain receptors at will

The Monkey

18:52 / 15.06.02

I want to emit a standing wave that disrupts cell phone functions. And if the cell phone has a noxious theme-ring, it is immediately teleported into the user's colon.

Nanotech pigment changers for my hair and skin, so I can be any damn color I like.

The Return Of Rothkoid

21:55 / 15.06.02

Eidetic imagery chip. Just the ticket for when Alzheimer's finally kicks in- as my family history makes me think it will.

Persephone

01:14 / 16.06.02

Oh God! I need one of those. The most horrifying thing happened to me the other day:

I could not remember what seven times nine was!

It was utterly gone, just like when Princess Leia looks out the window of the Death Star and Alderaan's not there.

To get to it, I had to add up seven plus seven plus seven and then add twenty-one three times!

Shrug

23:28 / 21.02.06

Arachnid, tapering, steel pins for legs aren't too much to ask from science, are they?

But aside from the obvious: bionic lungs, hands that used OCR technology to scan books, a reliable internal alarm, and the subtle yet comforting whirr of a cpu everpresent as I go about my daily business.

Shrug

23:34 / 21.02.06

and the subtle yet comforting whirr of a cpu everpresent as I go about my daily business.

I could just hum but it's not the same.

c0nstant

23:44 / 21.02.06

i've always wanted a camera implanted directly into my eyeball. i imagine it would be controlled by a microswitch implanted into the roof of my mouth.

i also wish i could fix the capslock on my keyboard.

Evil Scientist

10:58 / 22.02.06

Cyber-gills would be nice. If they weren't too obvious (I don't want to look like the planets only Waterworld fan).

Enhanced vision would be handy.

Wireless internet link, plus virtual keyboard. So I can become one with the 'Lith.

Ooh, ooh, and the abilty to disconnect my head and have it scuttle off on robotic octopus tentacles. Just for shits and giggles.

8===>Q: alyn

11:04 / 22.02.06

I'm not crazy about Waterworld, but I thought The Postman was really good.

I don't think I want anything too outre for my bod. I'm pretty happy with it the way it is, because it's fucking hott and all, but I wouldn't mind having some of the design flaws, shared by everyone, fixed. Like teeth, teeth are really badly designed. Better resistance to changes in temperature, more resilient skin, more efficient digestion, and so on. Actually, once you start thinking like this it's really hard to stop.

electric monk

12:28 / 22.02.06

pointless & uncalled for

12:58 / 22.02.06

I can see a lot of benefit to having an LED screen impanted in my forehead which is hardwired to my cognitive centres. When people talk to me it will display my opinion of them with a selection of synonyms and antomyms.

More realistically I would consider replacing my feet with somthing light but strong and impervious to cold. They would be fitted with retractable cleats and a holographic projection unit that ensures that I am always wearing appropriate and fashionable footwear. My toes could be used as storage areas for tools to fix my bike and my heels could carry my sandwiches for a mid-afternoon snack.

Lenore of Babalon

15:08 / 22.02.06

Synthetic hallucinogen gland.

Ooo OOO! Also cool wings!

electric monk

15:13 / 22.02.06

Just don't use both at the same time, 'kay?

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