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Bad Behavior after 9/11

13:37 / 17.10.01

I don't know if this should go in conversation or in New World Crisis.

Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just my friends but I've seen an increase in destructive behaviors both in myself and friends since 9.11

I've definitely been drinking more and more often, which I find a bit worrisome.

The worst habit is the PHENOMENAL amount of television I've been watching! It started b/c I wanted to keep up on the news, then I started watching the occasional half hour comedies and now I'm wasting 2 hours of my life at least 2 nights a week. Bad bad bad.

I've been smoking more, though I've cut down since my initial cigarette binge close to the attack.

Biggest thing - I did coke, which I vowed I'd never do. I was at a aparty, friends were doing it, and I really did think to myself, "Fuck it, the world trade center's down and who knows what else is gonna happen..." Could've been a rationalization but. I quite enjoyed it but am happily not "jonesin'" for more, which has always been my fear.

Am I alone with an upswing of self-destructive behaviors??

14:09 / 17.10.01

Sure, though my vices are fairly mild:

Haven't been eating well--too much fast food, too many chips & sweets & snacks--and noticed today my trousers were a bit tight 'round the middle
went back on the smokes (albeit briefly)
been spending too much money on CDs and comics and video rentals, when I'm supposed to be saving for a down payment on a house
playing the lottery again
been spending too much time online/slacking at work
staying up late watching movies when I've got work in the morning

Not "bad" behaviors in the sense of hurting anybody, but self-indulgent.

There's a couple of obvious subtexts to this. The first is a simple reaching out for comfort, and taking that comfort in pleasure. The second stems from a general uncertainty about the future manifesting itself in a fuck your long-term goals mentality. Why save your money? You might as well spend it now, cos who knows if you'll be alive to spend it tomorrow? It's the flip side of the overt why-bother-getting-out-of-bed depression, more active but no more healthy for it: a sort of desperate hedonism.

But it's time to get our shit together. Because we will need to be strong in days to come, and have our wits about us. Wherever you stand on the political spectrum, it's self-evident that there is work to be done.

[ 17-10-2001: Message edited by: Jack Fear ]

14:35 / 17.10.01

Not exactly bad behaviour, but the people in the book shop up the road tell me that sales of Sci-Fi and fantasy have gone up considerably since the attack on 9/11. Apparently it's a common thing in times of crisis.

14:41 / 17.10.01

Ah yes, JF, I know of which you speak. I should've included ignoring a bank overdraft for three weeks and allowing two videos I rented to be nearly a month late. Both are very, very unlike me. Just started getting my shit together last week, and just started examining the reasons thus last week.

14:45 / 17.10.01

Between an incredible lack of funds, total upheaval of my personal life (have to move, have to find new job, must put together portfolio to get into school), and altogether no vices besides an addiction to sugar cookies, I have no time or inclination for bad behaviour.

Unless you count staying in my PJs all day playing with the kitties.

14:46 / 17.10.01

quote:Originally posted by moriarty:
...staying in my PJs all day playing with the kitties.Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

14:48 / 17.10.01

Ive actually been doing better. the contentment I feel was reaffirmed, I was shaken enough to be reminded that I can lose it all, and I want to enjoy it as much as I can while Ive got it, and I want to live long enough and healthy enough to have that opportunity

01

15:03 / 17.10.01

Just about got in a fight when I could've just as easily walked away and just about got stabbed with some kind of dirty alley knife or shank. That I didn't see or know about until my friends told me about it after the fact. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

15:16 / 17.10.01

I feel trapped into being pathologically responsible, actually... it is interesting that Jack Fear mentions that he's been buying lottery tickets these days. My friends have historically found it so weird that I play the lottery & seem to believe that I might actually win... but I haven't even been tempted to pick up a ticket since Sept. 11.

What I have been planning for ages to do after my play opens was to quit my job & get off track for a while & be deliberately frivolous... and that doesn't seem right either.