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My final year project report is officially "bullshit."

  
  

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Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:48 / 05.06.02
And I quote. This means that the one thing I thought I'd pass this year - the one thing I worked my fat pimply arse off for - is fucked. I put days of work in on it, but apparently there is nothing they can actually give a mark to.

It's not the end of the world, but I'd appreciate it if someone said summink a) nice, or b) horrible but really really stupid so I can ignore it and feel really superior.
 
 
Shortfatdyke
20:06 / 05.06.02
this seems to be a bad day for you studenty types.

i'm not sure what to say, mc. i don't even know what a final year project is. this short tale might possibly cheer you up, or at least make you realise that i am far more stupid than you could possibly have imagined: when i was at school, older than i will care to admit, we were set a task to re-write sentences, using the opposite (shit! noun, verb, i can't even remember what it's called). i was having an easy time of it until i got this one:

'joanna has three rabbits. they are all does.'

i was flummoxed! after a while, a weird kind of logic won, so to my eternal shame i wrote:

'joanna has three rabbits. they are all does not.'

why the teacher only replaced the last two words with 'bucks', instead of letting the whole class - hell, the whole school - to laugh at me, i'll never know. but i thank her for it.
 
 
grant
20:31 / 05.06.02
I am SO a natural blonde!

What *was* your final project?
 
 
Ierne
20:32 / 05.06.02
apparently there is nothing they can actually give a mark to. – Mordant "NOT Bullshit!" C@rnival

That is wack wack wack.

This is serious, and requires serious action. I shall have to go to Green-Wood Cemetery TONIGHT and invoke my good fiend Julien Poe. Perhaps he will write some decadent nocturnal doggerel to (ahem) cheer you in your hour of woe.
 
 
Lurid Archive
20:50 / 05.06.02
Its serious and I'm in Southampton. Marking exam scripts of all things. It'll be alright, love. I promise.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
21:02 / 05.06.02
Lurid, ma cherie, as long as you're looking on, evrything will be alright.
 
 
Mazarine
21:08 / 05.06.02
I'm so with you Mordant. I thought my senior project was going swell since my advisor said "this'll be something you can be really proud of." Then, when I turned in my final version, she kinda one-eightied on me. Told me she was just trying to get me through the end of the semester, and that I was barking up the wrong tree. I passed, but it punched a hole in my beautiful GPA. I told myself that every truly great scholar and writer is put down by a professor at some point or another. Though I will one day exact some manner of revenge. Final projects suck.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
21:26 / 05.06.02
Yeah, well. My future has a Lurid in it, and theirs doesn't.

End of story.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:35 / 05.06.02
That so sucks. Want me to have 'em killed?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
21:43 / 05.06.02
Strangely, no. One of them thinks he's dying anyway. I reckon I could save him if I let him.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
08:13 / 06.06.02
Lovely warm schnoogles for Mordant...is this the Pikaharp? Because if some pigfucker has ruled that out of play I'll tear out their wet wiring myself...

Seriously, hugs for Mordant. What can you do? Apart from sticking on the white evening dress and dispensing JOLT JUSTICE?

(Lurid, that makes you Travis. You can choose Greif or Croucher. Enjoy!)
 
 
Cat Chant
10:28 / 06.06.02
These people are very, very, very, bad. Do you have a student union 'academic welfare' rep or something? Find out what your options are in terms of appealing the grade, protesting the fact that you were allowed to get to this stage w/o warning that there were problems, or whatever. If the institution which has sicced the SU onto a module I co-taught is any indication, it shouldn't be too much hassle for you, since once you lodge the complaint it seems to be handled by a Union rep & the head of school/academic registrar.

More to the point, however: bad people for dissing Mordant's project report. Hugs (or whatever you can Gothically accept), sympathy, tea, and fierce indignation coming your way.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:04 / 06.06.02
That's an exceptionally good point - where were your supervisors during the life of the project? Sounds like they were at fault, and as such there may be a case for getting an average of your other results put in instead..
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:08 / 06.06.02
Oh, P.S.

What's wrong with calling gay people "faggots"? When I call my gay friends "faggots" they know I'm only fooling, so why should anyone bitch about it? I bet you're going to say saying "bitch" is wrong, too, you bunch of feminazis.

And I do have gay friends. Lots of them. Not that I'm some kind of faggot or anything.

(how's that for horrible but stupid, MC?)
 
 
captain piss
11:16 / 06.06.02
Those bitches!
Still, good on you for having a go at doing something interesting for your project- s'pretty obvious you're not slavishly jumping through the hoops assigned by the course masters, and that kind of thing is appreciated by lots of people/employers/etc
 
 
Mourne Kransky
11:36 / 06.06.02
there's nothing they can give a mark too What utter rubbish!

Having spent all day yesterday marking projects myself, I have to say every one got detailed feedback and unless I was presented with a blank piece of paper or a pornographic doodle, there would have definitely been something to give a mark too.

Sounds more like they're a bunch of arrogant, lazy w****rs, who really need to rethink their practice. Which would tie in with what others have said about overall lack of supervision and support throughout that you get this suprise at this point.

I shall make another voodoo doll, but you need to send me some strands of their hair. Or some other substance which is in greater supply, since they clearly produce high volumes of lumpen taurean excreta themselves.
 
 
Lurid Archive
12:02 / 06.06.02
Having been with Mordant all the way through the course, and having some knowledge about the workings of higher education I can confidently say that she has been treated shabbily throughout. I don't think the people involved have ever heard of professionalism and they regularly demonstrated incompetence. Now its true that Mordant hasn't always been a perfect student, especially with her lack of experience in formal education, but she has received practically no support. Assholes.

But, for lots of reasons, I don't think that an appeal is the best option now. It sounds like defeatism but, although she's been treated like shit, but it will only prolong her pain to try to fight them. Without going into all the details, I think she (and I) have decided to move on. Spending more time at that place would be a waste, in my view.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
12:14 / 06.06.02
Mordant, am so sorry, what a bunch of rotters. Hugs and lots of them.
 
 
Ierne
12:22 / 06.06.02
Well, Mr. Julien Poe (NO relation to Edgar Allan, I assure you) was highly displeased that I had no real absinthe to offer him, in return for a satire directed at the nasty, nasty people at Mordant's school. However, I did get this out of him.

Hope it cheers you up just a bit, MC.

WILL SATIRIZE FOR ABSINTHE

If you want me to write scathing verse
be a little more kind with your purse.
I won't drink Pernod –
That's old.
I want the real thing –
Bling Bling.

It's shameful to buy such cheap booze
when Mordant brings us this sad news.
Don't give me dark beer –
My dear.
Is that Guinness Stout?
Get out.

Ah wormwood, it brings out my best
and my Dark Muse is put to the test.
Our friend has been dissed –
I'm pissed.
A pox on her prof!
–Don't scoff.

What's this in my glass? ANISETTE?
Pfui! I am rather upset.
I can hardly scribble
this drivel.
You say that doesn't rhyme?
–Sublime.
 
 
Lurid Archive
12:26 / 06.06.02
Thats really excellent Ierne! I'm sure it'll do the trick.
 
 
that
12:43 / 06.06.02
Many sympathies, MC. A somewhat similar thing happened to me last year - I had an essay handed back as unmarkable, because I'd exclusively used books not on the reading list. Not nearly as upsetting as your situation - however, even *I* was completely crushed. So I have some very very vague notion of what you must be going through. And it's not nice. So very sorry...
 
 
invisible_al
13:06 / 06.06.02
Awww fucking hell, no Mordant your alleged teachers would appear to be arseholes.
Anyway is the laser harp working? Well thats a darn sight more than I ever acomplished at uni, and its worth its weight in gold in the real world. I mean, 'I've built a laser harp' now thats something that will turn heads. Much better than 2:2, 2:1 or 1st on a CV anyway.
Oh and have a word with the SU before you decide not to give em hassle, see what they say as they might have encountered this style of wankery from your department before...and won.
*good vibes and huggles*
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
13:17 / 06.06.02
Agreeing with al here...
look, I've got a fucking degree and it's not worth the paper it's (allegedly- they never actually sent me a certificate or anything) printed on- you can actually make stuff.
Sorry to keep coming on vengeful, but can't you just reprogram it evil and set it loose?

Seriously, though. Huggles to you. Pikachu's hairy yellow balls to the fuckers that failed you.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
13:34 / 06.06.02
It sounds like a big plate of arsebiscuits, MC. I shall hunt them down and make them eat them.

Hugs!
 
 
rizla mission
13:52 / 06.06.02
"bullshit"? You mean you actually got 0? that's unbelievable.. I mean, shouldn't someone have, y'know, told you somewhere along the line if what you were doing was completely 100% "wrong"?
 
 
grant
13:52 / 06.06.02
I see an opportunity for a swap of vengeance here. Virtually untraceable.

I got a similar thing back once on a final paper in grad school. "I can't read anything to grade here."
I still bear a grudge against that prof. Geez, and that was 10 years ago.
 
 
grant
13:53 / 06.06.02
(uhh, Rizla slipped in there before I noticed).

Anyway, I still want to know what the project is.
 
 
Persephone
15:05 / 06.06.02
Hell and back, Mordant. Don't feel bad if you just want to lie down and watch Blake's 7 for a while. Take care of yourself.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
15:25 / 06.06.02
Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate it.

No, I'm not going to fight 'em. At the end if the day, if they don't like the report they don't like the report, end of story.

Like Lurid says, I've decided to move on. My degree course has been a catalogue of fuckups since day one- theirs as well as mine. It started in the first year when they told us that the department was going to close down once we'd finished our degrees, and it's got worse from there.

My plan now is to scavenge what I can from the wreckage, and sign up to do something writey with the Open University. That way I won't be tied to geographical location and can go with Lurid if he swans off to do maths in Barcelona or wherever he ends up. Yay!
 
 
Saveloy
15:53 / 06.06.02
I hope it all works out for you, Mordant. I still have to say that sounds f***ing disgraceful (on the academic's part). I can't even work out what that means - "nothing to grade." I'm going to ask around here (work) for some academic opinions on the matter, whether it's common practice etc...
 
 
that
16:02 / 06.06.02
Yeah - sounds really shite... Can't believe they let you just get on with it only to tell you now. Best of luck with the OU, Mordant.
 
 
bitchiekittie
16:10 / 06.06.02
hmm. stupid. usually Im rife with stupid comments, but Im at a goddamn loss

only to wish Id ever written anything worthwhile so I could send it to you, rescue you with my until now hidden brilliance!
 
 
bitchiekittie
16:11 / 06.06.02
swoop in and smack them all with the reason-and-decency stick
 
 
bitchiekittie
16:11 / 06.06.02
give you one-half of my winning lottery ticket
 
 
bitchiekittie
16:12 / 06.06.02
dream up elaborate schemes of redemption and harmless but satisfying revenge!
 
  

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