There are two kinds of pornsurfers. The first browses for the novelty of each new picture, savoring each unique sight and experience. The second is the perfectionist, endlessly combing the Internet for the one ultimate picture that will invalidate the need for further searching: the Holy Grail of Porn.
(Another name for the second type of surfer might be the "porn-again Christian.")
The Holy Grail will vary from person to person depending on taste, of course, but it is nearly always characterized by the fact that its mythical allure cannot be accurately articulated, which is probably due to the fact that it doesn't fucking exist. This daunts the seeker not a whit, as he (or she) moves from one almost-grail to another, cherishing each before rejecting it for one a fraction of a degree closer to his ever-shifting notion of perfection.
My current stand-in for the Holy Grail is shamelessly prudish and softcore: a vapid young actress lying topless on a pristine white bed, her gaze fixed on the camera, her blank expression not quite concealing impatience, tension, possibly even ice-cold scorn. Yes, with an entire world of erotica to select from, I have temporarily settled for none other than Shannon Elizabeth.
So, what's your Holy Grail or almost-grail? Or, if you're not the questing sort, what pic would you like to keep you company for two weeks of solitary confinement? |
