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Gullibility

 
 
Mourne Kransky
16:04 / 25.05.02
Having been successfully fooled by a hoax virus warning last week, I began to think more penitently of the number of times I have successfully hoaxed others.

Had a friend convinced I was in the Big Brother House from this Friday, have successfully convinced others that I was a shepherd (and expert on livestock, generally, at other times), that I was having an affair with a man, that I was having an affair with a woman, that I had won £10,000 from a Readers' Digest draw, and many other similar japes.

I conclude that some people are more gullible than others. There are natural sceptics and natural believers. I thought I was the former but can still be had, obviously.

It's sometimes fun fooling people and sometimes a shameful thing to have done. I may be a monster of cruelty, lacking utterly in insight.

I might parlay this trait into an international career as a con-man if I were to work at it.

Ever fallen for a hoax or perpetrated one successfully, yourselves?
 
 
The Apple-Picker
16:21 / 25.05.02
I'm a believer, no doubt about it. My first tendency is to believe what you tell me.

Most lies of which I convinced others were when I was little and tortured my younger siblings. The world is in the belly of a giant. All the continents are connected by bridges. Your parents and I are aliens and are raising you, human child, for research, but now we've grown weary of you and are returning to our home planet of ZzzgrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAbeet.
 
 
Captain Zoom
16:33 / 25.05.02
One day while I was waiting for some friends to come over, I got a phone call. It was the intercom from our downstairs and there was a man claiming to have a letter for someone who was not me. I told him he had the wrong number and said bye. He called back again. I told him he still had the wrong number and said bye. He called back again asking if I knew the person, at which point I snarked at him and hung up. He called again, and warned me not to hang up on him. So I did again. It rang again and was my friends, sounding kind of weirded out, but I let them up and they told me there was an odd looking older gentleman who had handed them this letter to take up to my apartment, having been the same one he buzzed 4 times previously. You can see where this is going, can't you? I didn't. I actually went down to see if this person was still there, at which point the perpetrators of the joke revealed to Reason that it was them. But no one told me until someone let it slip 5 hours later at dinner.

I have, to this day, never forgiven them, the bastards.

Zoom.
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
17:16 / 25.05.02
there was this girl i was totally mad for, who didnt want anything to do with me other than use me as a convieniant taxi and to buy her lunch.

one night this other girl who i was good pals with was hanging out at a buddys house with a group of us who were boycotting the usual weekly club scene for some reason or another.

anyway, around 2 am we decided to go the the diner where ppl would gather after the club, and as we were walking through the parking area my friend leaned up against me and said something about how i should "just play along"

once we got inside i sat down and she sat on my lap and started playing with my ears and shirt and stuff, winning us stares from our club going friends

We started this drawn out story about how she and i had had sex, and that was why we werent at the club. Of course my friend was doing this to try and make the girl i wanted jealous over me, it didnt work, and it went kinda bad when the cat got out of the bag a few weeks later.

The best part was about a year later I saw a friend from the time who asked if she and i were still together, then i had to explain what had happened, he didnt believe me.
 
 
Shortfatdyke
18:40 / 25.05.02
my brother is amazingly gullible. one time i got a red felt tip and wrote 'you will die at midnight', with the writing all wobbly and poorly drawn drops of blood coming off the letters, on a piece of paper and left it on his pillow. he came downstairs with it, looking really shocked. and he was still freaked out, even after i told him it was me. he was in his mid-20s at the time.

a woman i used to know went to northern ireland on holiday. when she came back me and a friend told her the queen mother had died. she said she didn't believe us as she would've heard. after some thought, i asked her if the neighbourhood she'd stayed in was catholic or protestant. catholic, she said. ah, that'll be it, then, i told her - republicans don't recognise the british royal family, so it wouldn't have been reported in catholic areas. that clinched it.

there's jokes and there's nastiness. i've had people in my room at night, rearranging furniture - playing 'operation mindfuck' - and standing over me holding knives, as a 'joke'. oh, and spraying cs gas at me. how i laughed as i threw myself out of the window because i was suffocating.
 
 
—| x |—
18:53 / 25.05.02
t - 5 and counting...

Myself, well, I am really not the hoaxing type. Sure, I think that I am clever enough and can be convincing enough to get people to believe, but I don't tend to exploit these abilities for evil and impoliteness [<--sarcasm there on that last bit!]!

Personally, I tend to think that there is enough disinformation floating around that I do not typically feel the need to add to it. As a person who doesn't "believe" in “facts” in general, I think it is important to be sincere in what I say to people, and try to use the limited number of words I will speak over the course of my life to accurately relate what I experience as "truth."

However, I am not necessarily against a good put-on so long as it is delivered with a good intent (of course, we could go into the more difficult question of "how do we define 'good intent'?" here, but I'll leave that aside for now). What I think I mean is that if a hoax is put forth in the spirit of benevolent fun, without the intent to manipulate or coerce, and there is a line or point at which the receiver of the hoax will be let in on the joke, then I think I am OK with that. Again, these are difficult lines to define though, and so, I do not attempt to create such loops and whirls in my life or the lives of others around me. Besides, I think that, quite often, my "truths" are wacky enough to come across as hoaxes to those whom I am expressing them to!

I suppose, in some ways, we are all "putting each other on" simply by living together and trying to communicate our experiences to one and other. We all buy into or unwittingly accept some set of shady social milieux in order to function as social animals; thus, we all help perpetuate some hoax or another. This brings me back to my initial point: there is enough disinformation generating our "reality" without me willfully adding more to it.

Of course, y'all can do whatever ya' like, I suppose--simply keep your yarns outta' my cotton ginny!




m3
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:00 / 25.05.02
oh, and spraying cs gas at me. how i laughed as i threw myself out of the window because i was suffocating.

That's not really a much of a hoax, is it? "Ha! Fooled you! You thought you were getting CS gas sprayed in your face but all the time, right, you were getting CS gas sprayed... in... you... face... Oh. Oh, bugger."
 
 
Shortfatdyke
19:14 / 25.05.02
well no it wasn't a hoax in any sense of the word. it was the last action in a series of events that began as pranks - pulling all the fuses out of the leccy at night, 'walling' me into my room.... so yes, it went from rather nasty pranks (i'm claustrophobic and the two examples i've given had a nasty effect) to just plain nastiness. but they were all justified as jokes.
 
 
Mazarine
20:55 / 25.05.02
A few of my friends had me convinced once while we were eating lunch at a diner that they had stolen my car at one point without my knowledge and taken it to the city. After a minute or so of livid sputtering and death threats from yours truly, they muttered that they were just joking and to put my vein back in my forehead where it belonged.

When I was a good bit younger, I was able to convince people that I was from nearly anyplace.
 
 
deja_vroom
01:02 / 26.05.02
Man, I lie 80% of the time. I can`t help it, the alternative would be too horrid. But I don`t think of it in the same category as hoaxes, it`s a matter of survival, I think.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:38 / 26.05.02
But ZoCher, you *are* in the Big Brother house! You're not fooling anyone with that "marriage" nonsense, Sandy...
 
 
rizla mission
14:25 / 26.05.02
I fall for absolutely anything.

When I was in primary school, one lunchtime my best friend convinced me that there were giant, alien rats underneath the school, and they were controlling his mind and needed our help. And I believed him and got really overexcited and we went running around pretending we were in a science fiction book .. I was really disappointed when he admitted it was a joke.

So that night, I watched the Terminator, and I came into school and said that I'd found a radar at the bottom of my garden that was picking up communications from the future, and the people in the future wanted me to protect someone who was going to be killed by a robot assassin..

and no one believed me, the bastards!

Which is their loss, cos it was true.
 
 
The Natural Way
08:31 / 27.05.02
Beat this: My ex and I once convinced her Mum that cows had stopped producing milk and that breakfast cereal companies were freaking out, trying to diversify before they went bust. We also semi-convinced her that Pat from Eastenders used to enjoy a double life as a hit-woman. And that retail fashion outlet 'Kookai' took it's name from a japanese sex act, literally translating as "cock in the eye".

We then proceeded to demonstrate....

Gotcha!

But the rest of it was true. Di's a very funny lady sometimes.
 
 
lentil
09:18 / 27.05.02
A few years back my housemate "G" was supposed to be meeting his friend "J" from King's Cross station but had left our filthy student pit in Wood Green far too late to make the rendezvous. About 20 minutes after G left the house, J turned up with his mate "C", whom G had not previously met. G at this point was presumably wandering around King's X going "Oh shit, he's not here, why am I always late, i hate myself, etc. etc.". So when we spied G heading back up the road, looking rather dejected, I got J to hide in my wardrobe, and carried on chatting with C. G entered and said, "Oh, hi, you must be C, good to meet you, I guess J must be with you then?". "Well, no, actually, this is my mate Andrew from Cardiff, he's just turned up at random. J phoned soon after you left. He sounded pretty pissed off, man. Basically he said that if his best mate couldn't be arsed to go and meet him then he couldn't be arsed hanging around and he's fucked off back to Southend." Cue much gnashing of teeth and self- flagellation from G. I let this go on for a few minutes before saying "G, I found that top you lost last week, it's in my wardrobe if you want to get it". The door was opened, and of course J came bounding out and molested G in that boisterous Essex manner, to raucous laughter all round.
And what made it even funnier was that it took about half an hour to convince G that C was indeed C and not the non-existent "Andrew from Cardiff"!

That's the only practical joke I've ever played that has worked. Actually - there was a time when I convinced a whole table of people in the pub that the way to blow smoke rings was to slap yourself on the back of the head at the moment of exhalation.

I'm such a funny guy.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
09:21 / 27.05.02

Grrrr! Why you...
 
 
The Natural Way
09:26 / 27.05.02
Used to live in Wood Green, too!

How interesting!
 
 
Margin Walker
09:40 / 27.05.02
lentil wrote: And what made it even funnier was that it took about half an hour to convince G that C was indeed C and not the non-existent "Andrew from Cardiff"!

Non-existent? If only that were true.
 
 
lentil
09:48 / 27.05.02
There's no way that he could be from the leafy cosmopolitan city in which I was born and spent the first 19 years of my life, he would have been more sophisticated, urbane and well-rounded, like myself. Unless of course he's a member of the notoriously thuggish "Blue Army" (CCFC fans). But I think he's from Swansea.

Runce - I was on Park Ridings, just behind Shopping City. Have you been there recently? They've got an enormous multiplex and loads of chain pubs, and are calling the whole thing "Hollywood Green". I shit you not! Bwa-hah-hah!
 
 
Margin Walker
10:05 / 27.05.02
Dammit! Oh well. But you have to admit that successfully tricking someone in a thread titled "Gullibility" would've been funny.
 
 
The Natural Way
10:44 / 27.05.02
Lentil: Haven't been up north London way for ages - happy to stay away - but UURRRGH! anyway.
 
 
that
10:54 / 27.05.02
I am so gullible that I genuinely believed for years the word gullible had been taken out of the dictionary. I used to pass the info on as cold hard fact. However, I think my gullibility is what makes me such a good liar...
 
 
Saveloy
16:13 / 27.05.02
I am REMARKABLY gullible. I once came home to discover that the friends I shared the flat with had stuck pictures from "The Most Amazing Pictures Ever Reproduced in the Guinness Book of Records" up on the living room wall and I fully believed them when they pointed to a picture of a ginger kitten dangling from a really thick, hairy piece of rope and said that it was "Tinsy Pins, the smallest cat in the world, dangling from a piece of cotton." F***ing bastards.

Mind you, I'm not as gullible as a pal of mine who believed that there is a snake in Africa which grows to be a mile long, or that eyeliner is made of bacteria which multiply in the dark, which is why, if you forget to take it off, you find it spread all over your face in the morning.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
16:32 / 27.05.02
Such mirth we have introduced to the world around us! Having read through these (mostly) jolly posts, I have further concluded that I am not a monster.

I only prick others' pomposity (as they have often enough pricked mine) or torture my masochistic friends who seem to enjoy being brutally teased. It's the latter jokes that trouble me from time to time but what the Hell... As long as they're clever ones.

I do have a problem with practical jokes of the kind perpetrated on shortfatdyke. My colleagues in Casualty put me in a total body cast with a bedpan on my head and a plastic flower in my hand on the day I left. They thought it was great fun but I thought it was a huge waste of resources and I was left for hours on a trolley in a hospital corridor with poor fuckers on cardiac monitors beside me and God knows what else. Maybe they thought it was amusing, I don't know.

& it hurt like fuck when they sawed it off because it had been applied so fast and no care was taken to avoid contact with body hair. Ripppppp...

& I would under no circumstances appear in public, let alone on tv, in an all black kilt, without a sporran, Flyboy.

Tsk, shame on you. My sartorial reputation will be in shreds now amongst all you young and fashionable things. He seems like a nice enough bloke although Ganesh's mother tells me he's Paul Gascoigne's best friend, which seems unlikely. Perhaps she is hoaxing me... I have convinced her that her new puppy is half fox.
 
 
Lurid Archive
22:17 / 27.05.02
Black rubber kilts with no sporran are "dangerous" and will mark you as a trend setter. It won't be completely uncharted territory, since Jonathan Ross first sported one of these on "The Incredibly Strange Film Show".

Its true that there was an incident with an over-enthusiastic dog but I'm sure a sturdy scot like yourself is equal to the task of protecting your genitalia. It'll reconnect with that 80's feel, whilst also showing off your legs.

Your Lurid fashion guru gives it a thumbs up.
 
 
lentil
08:52 / 28.05.02
Yeah.. twatty pranks, as mentioned by ZoCher and sfd... they are just twatty, aren't they? The worst job I ever had, which I did for one shift, was working in an icecream factory in Cardiff with a bunch of local rudeboys all of whom were dosed up on tranquillizers and cheap hash to stave off the boredom. At one ppoint during this eight hours of pain (I had foolishly neglected to stock up on pharmaceuticals and had left my cheap hash at home), one japester came over to me with a large, semi - melted tub of rapberry ripple and said "Lentil, I think the icecream from that machine is off, it smells funny, have a whiff for us will you?". And so I bent forward to inhale and got the whole fucking lot over my head. Goopy... sticky... smelly...

Guess I am kinda gullible.
 
 
Knight's Move
14:03 / 29.05.02
Did any of you see the Sun a few days ago, and particularly a letter in Dear Diedre - "Drag Pal Took My Girl."? That was sent "on my behalf", from my university email account, by some "friends" of mine. The events in the letter are (almost) true he did steal a woman from under me, whilst in drag, and he has gone out with a recent ex, and had a fling with my younger sister. 19 should be 22 though. And I didn't want to kill him. After I sobered up. Them on the other hand I am still looking for revenge on. I really was quite suprised to find an email from Diedre in my inbox the next day advising me to get a grip on my feelings before I confronted him...I was even more suprised when it actually ended up in the bloody paper...

The letter is a work of art, and in honour of my friends' achievement I put it up in the college bar, so now everyone knows. Including the girl. Who he went out with for a bit afterwards.

My friends even bought me the self help book Diedre recommened - "How to Stand Up for Yourself" by Dr Paul Rauch. Very useful...

The same people got me to do a one man Star Trek themed pub crawl, bu that was due to a stupid four way bet about relative positions of football teams in their leagues...Goddam Pompey.
 
 
Ethan Hawke
15:11 / 29.05.02
I recently convinced my friend Stephanie that one must apply to go to driving school in New York City. I told her that my girlfriend was busy working on her application essay to get into one of the "best Jewish driving schools" in the city, but that I was pretty much convinced she wouldn't get in, and would have to settle for her "safety" school instead.

We've been doing the hoaxing game with each other for awhile - she calls it the "True Lies" game. Now I don't even bother lying because she won't believe what I have to say anyway.
 
  
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