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"Market it and they will buy..."

04:34 / 24.05.02

Introducing Just the Taste of Water

Nico Water is a convenient nicotine beverage for when you can't or don't want to smoke. It's a healthy breather with NICO Water™ that provides a refreshing break to the smoking habit and the craving for nicotine when not smoking for an hour, a day, a week or a lifetime.

NICO Water™ is pharmaceutically formulated and bottled for purity with standardized pharmaceutical grade water and the approved ingredient - nicotine polacrilex to insure efficacy and safety.

I love how it's called a "supplement"--like you're going to contract goiter if your body doesn't get it's "supplement" of nicotine. It gets weirder: you might have to produce ID in some states to buy this water. Damn if this isn't the stupidest product I've seen since the hamburger press....

04:36 / 24.05.02

Oh yeah: official website here.

06:33 / 24.05.02

i'm going to use it to make my morning esspresso

Less searchable M0rd4nt

07:17 / 24.05.02

WTF is standardized pharmecutical grade water when it's at home? Are you sure this is real?

ONLY NICE THINGS

08:56 / 24.05.02

What is wrong with you people? This is the coolest thing ever!

10:19 / 24.05.02

Seeing as I only smoke cigars, am I not allowed to swallow?

Nah, if it works, all to the good. As someone that thinks gum is the work of the devil and thinks patches are for tarts, this could actually be some use. Tell you what though, if they could do a tonic water version, to go with gin or vodka, I'd be laughing.

Tell a lie, this is all bollocks. Give me a damn cigar.

10:37 / 24.05.02

I'm with Haus. This sounds FABULOUS!

11:13 / 24.05.02

Ok, it sounds good, but how the hell do you light it?

11:19 / 24.05.02

Light it? You don't. It's water. You drink it.

11:31 / 24.05.02

But it's special pharmaceutical water. Doesn't that make it, like, flammable and shit?

11:34 / 24.05.02

I don't know. Somebody should buy some and try it out.

11:50 / 24.05.02

Its probably already being piped into your homes by the government to get you all addicted !! You see thats why I only ever drink bottled water - OH

11:53 / 24.05.02

Really? Is that why that 5 year old asked if she could bum a cigarette off me yesterday? Wow. Glad I don't drink tap water.

11:59 / 24.05.02

All tap water is contaminated with nicotine. The only way I found to kick my 20 pint a day habit was to use these little tubes of plant material which I light and inhale through.

12:32 / 24.05.02

I'm with Haus. This sounds FABULOUS!

You're mad. The joy of smoking is as much in the ritual of it as the nicotine. Rolling the cigarette between you fingers like a rosary. Watching the clouds of smoke gently waft on a light summer breeze. & can you picture Bogart with a little plastic bottle?

12:34 / 24.05.02

The major use for this will be to give heavy smokers a buzz again. What smoker is unable to drink and smoke at the same time?

Regrettable Juvenilia

15:45 / 24.05.02

Now, if you used this stuff to brew beer, you'd be unto something...

16:11 / 24.05.02

The joy of smoking is as much in the ritual of it as the nicotine. Rolling the cigarette between your fingers like a rosary. Watching the clouds of smoke gently waft on a light summer breeze. & can you picture Bogart with a little plastic bottle? – MJ-12

Mad props to MJ-12. Even though every time I see hir I get dissed for smoking my gold-tipped cigs:

"Yeah they look great, but they TASTE LIKE CRAP!"

17:42 / 24.05.02

I didn't mean to diss anybody. Just an observation that may have come out wrong. All I can offer as a defence is that I was drunk.

19:12 / 24.05.02

this sounds great! best invention since the caffinated water.... tho i'm slightly reminded of the comic the Maxx when in the future everything (including cerial) had nicotine in it... creepy but rad

20:19 / 24.05.02

Trijhaos wrote: I don't know. Somebody should buy some and try it out.

Not me, the shit's expensive!! It's like $15 for 4 measly bottles. No fucking lie. From what I was reading, the primary market is people on long flights that can't smoke on the plane.

23:30 / 24.05.02

The joy of smoking is as much in the ritual of it as the nicotine. Rolling the cigarette between you fingers like a rosary. Watching the clouds of smoke gently waft on a light summer breeze. & can you picture Bogart with a little plastic bottle?

I call MJ-12 as my next-door neighbor in the cancer ward!

And Ierne, I know those ciggies. Don't smoke 'em, but round these parts we call 'em "party cigarettes."

23:41 / 24.05.02

$15? That's a bit steep. I'd buy some and try it out, but I'd have trouble explaining to people why I want some nicotine laced water when I don't smoke.

The Sinister Haiku Bureau

20:13 / 25.05.02

Is this water cigarette-flavoured or water-flavoured? If the former, why not just drink bongwater?

21:33 / 25.05.02

Because otherwise Ann Magnuson will sue you. (*rimshot!*)

"Thank you, you're beautiful people. I'm Margin Walker, your indie rock comedian and I'll be headlinin' all week here at Stuckey's Buffet & Makeshift Casino, so tell your freinds to come by and catch my act."

Anyways, to answer your question, I don't know and I'm not going to shell out $15 to find out.

21:39 / 25.05.02

I figure it'd be water flavored. I mean they don't make nicoret and the like, nicotine flavored, do they?

22:20 / 25.05.02

I may be rotting my own thread, but this looks even stupider (taken from [url=http://www.whowouldbuythat.com/]http://www.whowouldbuythat.com[/url]

22:22 / 25.05.02

I....I don't know what to say except

Where can I buy a can?

23:17 / 25.05.02

how 'bout this?

Caffeinated Soap

08:37 / 26.05.02

Whoops, I meant to link the Who'd buy that? site thusly: http://www.whowouldbuythat.com. And if it wasn't for the fact that David Cross showed us a poster for it tonight, I wouldn't believe something so stupid existed. The poster from a East coast coffee chain called Cosi read: "What's for breakfast? Bagels? No, SQUAGELS!!" I looked on Google trying to find a picture of these square bagels and couldn't find any, not even on Cosi's own site. The best I could find was this review....

Last year, Cosí unveiled the ultimate in bagel couture—the Squagel, a sure sign that corporate America is out to kill Jewish cuisine. First they throw in blueberries, then asiago cheese, and now they're messing with the bagel's shape. (What's next, the Triagel?) The Squagel is a square hunk of raw-tasting dough posing under an embarrassing name. Its crust looks like skin, and it tastes as if it were hatched in some ninth-grade cooking class.

This is what we deserve. The nonbagel as bagel. When I asked about the Squagel, the Cosí waitress beamed with pride: "It's not even a real bagel."

As for the company itself, he said he used to show their training video before his stand-up gigs because it was so horrible, complete with, as he stated, "rapping that makes Will Smith look like DMX".

07:10 / 07.06.02

KISS releases own brand of condoms:

Two more versions are already in the works - a studded condom dubbed the "Studded Paul" and adorned with a photo of Kiss guitarist Paul Stanley, and "Love Gun Protection", an extra strength version with the entire band on the packaging.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:49 / 22.06.02

If you don't fancy nicotine enhanced water, how about these?

00:20 / 23.06.02

I have been nicotine-free for two months, one day, 18 hours, 20 minutes and 32 seconds. That's 1255 cigarettes not smoked, saving $313.82.

But who's counting?

(Dammit.)