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Barbelith Haiku , Nonsense, and Limmerick Thread

  
  

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We're The Great Old Ones Now
08:49 / 14.05.02
Trivial haiku:
Gossip, no seriousness,
Just our Barbelith.

The Evil Sebastian Thomas Von Coates
Had a castle with monsters and sharks in the moat.
He poured boiling oil
On peasants who toiled
Then stood in the tower to gloat!

(I know this ought to be in the Creation, except I want everyone to play and some of you don't come down to us in the netherfora).
 
 
Sax
09:04 / 14.05.02
I would like to use this opportunity to continue my virtual stalking:

That young lass in Star Wars called Padme,
Those Yankee cops Lacey and Cagney
Even Theresa Randle
None can hold a candle
To Barbelith's own Ariadne
 
 
w1rebaby
09:14 / 14.05.02
they say that I'm meant to be workin,
but i'd rather be quaffin a firkin
of ale, lager, wine,
beer, spirits, all fine,
and spilling a lot down my jerkin.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
10:16 / 14.05.02
Under floorboards: noise.
Static permeates my posts
LOOK! I'VE GOT A PLANK!
 
 
Cavatina
10:32 / 14.05.02
So.

Let's put the matter finally to rest
An' 'fess that pirates are really the best.
To claim otherwise is spurious,
mere waste o' words, however furious.
Yes - it's futile to further protest.
 
 
deja_vroom
11:10 / 14.05.02
A Cthulhu haiku:

Tentacles arise
Fear all over the planet
Time to say goodbye.
 
 
Sax
12:03 / 14.05.02
I've never met Haus or Ganesh-a
But I dreamed I met them in the flesh-a
Their laughs were unsweet
Now I won't Barbe-meet
'cause I'd feel under too much damn pressure
 
 
Cavatina
12:20 / 14.05.02
But Sax, if you don't Barbe-meet,
you may sadly miss out on a treat.
Ariadne, you reckon you're stalking.
Well, just think, you could actually be talking
And surely, man, that would be sweet.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
17:57 / 14.05.02
Any day now, it'll all come out right
The future's incredibly bright
Deep denial's the key
To my problems, you see
Any other approach is just shite
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
18:03 / 14.05.02
Limerick eludes
Perhaps a sonata or
even a sonnett

Barbelith my love
A cruel and yet kind mistress
My attention yours

Haus on the prairie
The Haus beneath the ocean
Ad infinitum
 
 
Mourne Kransky
18:53 / 14.05.02
I need to get more frivolous:

There was a young stalker called Sax
He got whacked up on some Scoobie Snacks
Then, in trousers of leather
And armed with a feather
Wooed Ariadne with tickling attacks
 
 
Ierne
18:53 / 14.05.02
I don't go down to Creation
round by Barbelith Nation.

It's not that I can't write,
just that my poetry's shite.

My structure & grammar's ok
but my rhyming and flow is ixnay

Sometimes I check and see
why my homies go hee-hee

but I don't laugh cause yo!
my shits' no betta, bro.

(I take great pictures, tho!)
 
 
Sax
18:57 / 14.05.02
Have at you, sirrah:

A chap with the fictionsuit ZoCher
Was more gamekeeper-stylee than poacher
He looked such a real corker
In plus-fours and deer-stalker,
Princess Margaret asked him to coach 'er.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
19:00 / 14.05.02
There was a yuong suit named Sax
Who looked like a North Going Zax
He walks hither and fro
To this day I don't know
If he ever will sit to watch K-Pax
 
 
Mourne Kransky
19:33 / 14.05.02
While the posse from Greenland were dormant
The Lizards conspired and grew rampant
Though the world did not end
The Dutch went round the bend
And to tempt Fate like this, I'm reluctant
 
 
Ariadne
19:41 / 14.05.02
There was a young lady called Ari
Though Saxy was well due to marry
Since she clicked on this link
She keeps turning quite pink
This stalking is extraordinary
 
 
Ariadne
19:42 / 14.05.02
Darn. Please mentally add a 't' in that second line to make it 'thought'.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
20:07 / 14.05.02
He was Potus and, Boy, he was Special
His computer was his magic pencil
He would talk to the globe
And opinions would probe
Rating heated debate as essential
 
 
The Knowledge
22:47 / 14.05.02
Fuck-damn all you stuck-up pompous boring-ass fuckwits,
You know who you are and you all suck dick.
Commenting on every thread, as if the Lord God himself,
had obliged you to rain judgement and comments as you saw fit.

Well ????, old boy, I spy,
That you’ve no wise words left to echo in mine ears,
But thinly veiled insults and grammar correction
and etiquette.
BORING!

????? if she had her way,
would banish all the young thinkers,
and any females with passion
and any males with stomping hard-ons.

?????? is a wanker,
A paranoid cocksmoking cunt.

????? has a lot of venom in her bite,
(she’s obviously very frustrated),
I really hate her.
She can fucking EAT MY PLANK.
 
 
The Apple-Picker
23:04 / 14.05.02
I read 'bout a fella named Sax
who built Ariadne love shacks.
It's a little old place.
Get together, end chase;
BANG BANG BANG, her heart attacks.
 
 
The Apple-Picker
23:28 / 14.05.02
I know a lady named Kittie
who sings a saucy, brash ditty;
fellas dig her bum
saying "mmm, gimme some,"
inspiring her nekkid-jig city.

This cat thinks that she is a bitch.
How this does make my mind itch.
I thought a bitch was a dog?
"Stop thinking, drink grog!"
Says she, "I'm the famed Pirate Twitch."

Our kitty--when spirited, she purrs
while she dons her favorite two spurs,
then solicits demon spawn
when she puts her chaps on--
What? Isn't that the story you heard?
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
01:25 / 15.05.02
If you're still here, Knowledge, and you're at all curious, this is why I stopped speaking up for you. Keep burning those bridges.
Arthur Sudnam, II
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
12:12 / 15.05.02
It's true I'm not a monkish man -
I've eyes for ruby lips, a tan,
And, though perhaps I'm getting fickler,
The wit of that young Apple Picker.

Not to mention Mordant's ire,
(A truly dangerous desire)
And Nesh's wisdom, cool and spicy,
Saveloy's just plain enticing.

And all around the board, it seems,
There's summer magic, fruity dreams -
Well-rounded, supple, muscled japes
Share space with funnies sweet as grapes

And typos, glitches, flubs and goofs
Are pairing off like cantaloops;
Typography has gone all sexual,
Thank God this rhyme is homotextual.
 
 
Sax
12:16 / 15.05.02
I wish you would all think of balking
At using the phrase "Sax is stalking"
It makes me sound like a pest,
Who should be under arrest.
Up to experience this I'll be chalking.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
12:30 / 15.05.02
This board is clearly of the times
As people stalk and slash in rhymes
 
 
The Apple-Picker
13:07 / 15.05.02
I must hand some thanks out to Nick,
that fella with such a wit, quick.
Like my apple flavor?
Let me return the favor
(and admit some find me a bit thick).

I do disagree with them, though;
those folks must be a tad slow.
Don't scorn my genius;
This lady's keen, yes.
(I sing my praises plenty, you know.)

Immortalization is a big word,
but as Miss Muffet with her curd
a silly story serves
to ease the nerves
while your fame lingers in the absurd.

Here's a tuffet, Nick; have a seat
(Batting my eyes) "Hey, you're neat.
I've eaten the curds today
but you can have your whey."
With me, flirting's almost discreet.
 
 
The Apple-Picker
13:08 / 15.05.02
Now to counter het flirting, dear boy,
let me call to Kitty: "Ahoy!
Little pirate lass,
let me swab that ass,
er, deck, I mean"--Oh, how I'm coy.
 
 
The Apple-Picker
13:48 / 15.05.02
Decadent sweets from the Ghyslain chocolatier
intoxicate, overwhelm better than beer;
edible beaux arts
get a gold star--
if you wanna read more about 'em, click here.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:32 / 15.05.02
Rhythm method never caught on in America, then?
 
 
bitchiekittie
14:45 / 15.05.02
apple, for those poor barbelithers who dont know about the kittie jig youve drawn quite a frightening picture! hahaha
 
 
The Apple-Picker
15:10 / 15.05.02
I auditioned for a choir;
my master advised I aspire
to some rhythm-sense.
I ignored his two cents,
then sang an octave higher.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
17:32 / 15.05.02
Seems like All Human Life here is found
In the hubbub of this Underground
From daft, bubbly froth
To obtenebrate Goth
With the fire of Prometheus Unbound

Then there are some who post on the Lith
Who are too fond of taking the pith
There are others so serious
With agendas mysterious
And some you could cuddle up with

Some read twenty five books every day
Others troll around, stalking their prey
Some have mighty web-fu
Posting images too
Or they change fiction suits every day

It can irk and can challenge assumption
Snarky people might spark off a ruction
But when real life is draining
It's a Monday, it's raining
There are huggles and penis-ear suction
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
17:35 / 15.05.02
Oh Yeah
ZoCher
Talented
So there.`
 
 
Margin Walker
22:03 / 15.05.02
I once had an onerous stye
that did nothing but sit there & lie
with a tug and a shout
the doc said "It's out!
See? Wasn't that easy as pie?"
 
 
mondo a-go-go
08:56 / 16.05.02
there was a young man named tom coates
who wanted to float all our boats. (arrr)
he built barbelith,
place of legend and myth --
remember to take lots of notes.

the injokes here do abound --
you can get confused, i have found.
gen up on ssssemen and lizards,
shurikens and slit gizzards (arrr)
or you may find this ship runs aground.
 
  

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