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Depressed

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

17:04 / 11.05.02

ok, today i am really depressed and trying to figure out why.
It started this morning when i had this really strong urge to look up some of the folks i went to school with, mainly a girl i was pretty stupid over for a while. I wasnt able to get any concrete info, or find a page associated with my elementary private school.

I cant explain this feeling, its like someone just ran over my cat, but i feel very very upset that i could not find any of these people, whom i have not seen for ages, and hardly thought about really.

Does anyone have any ideas on why i would feel like this, i just broke my cubicle here at work over some trivial crap simply because my mind is all screwy.

Rev. Wright

17:13 / 11.05.02

Minefields of subconscious trauma bubbles, that we collect as we live. Unaware to our Ego, these are stimulated by various associated triggers.
Reflection may uncover teh cause and healing can take place. Lokk at it this way, you initiated this with your 'urge', so your subconscious may well be activating a healing process, which will cause you to go through distinct emotional phases, as you trace back to the moment of trauma, and resolve it.
Allow this process to continue, with as little hinderance as you can offer, if it becomes too engulfing, I would suggest a progressive and intellegent meditation group, to help your mind remeber how togo through the process.
Two things:
- Check your breathing when stressed, and learn to pace it
- Feel your feet on the floor, in your shoe, attached to your legs. It will help to ground you

Bill Posters

18:44 / 11.05.02

yeah, what he said. Good luck with riding it out.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

02:36 / 12.05.02

Oh shit, ask me why I'm cyclical?

Elijah, sweetheart, I'll bet that this isn't the first time anything like this happened in your life. (Speaking from experience here, Christ, give me an award for identifying.)

I get all weirded out and upset for no apparent reason, or for reasons that would seem very infinestimal (sp?) to anyone else. My whole life has been a series of having days or weeks on a veritable personal "I'm good with me" high to be followed by days or weeks with "What the fuck's wrong with me that I can't be okay or happy with me" lows. It sucks. I know. And for me, the thing you described would exactly what kicks me back into it.

Uh, that's all. I'll just go back to being a lurker now.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

03:14 / 12.05.02

It's always odd when the fact that people leave gets tossed in your face. I had it happen again about a week ago, and to be honest, I'm still kind of rattled by it.

But it will pass. There is a reason people go away, even if we don't understand why.

In my case it's because they don't realize how much they will miss me. (he said trying to boost his ego in vain)

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

03:24 / 12.05.02

thanks guys, it's good to have people who i will likely never meet face to face listen and pay attention to whats going on.

So, now i beg the question--would it be a good idea to keep digging and try to find these people risking A: still not finding anything or B: finding them, talking to them and finding out none of them have givin me a thought since we were in school together. And to not be a defeatest, there is always option C: where the ones i can find are really glad to hear from me and want to keep in touch.

Mazarine

04:13 / 12.05.02

I dunno, Elijah, between my personal apathy and indifference to most of the people I went to school with, I'm not an authority. But my guess would be that, more often than not, people do think about each other after school, but most think that if they tried to get back in touch with others that it'd be unwelcome.

As for emotional stability, I too have the mood swings of an atomic powered yo-yo, my cat helps me through the low points, as do the board and bad fanfictions. But anyway, I'd say give it a shot, find 'em. I seriously doubt anything bad would come of it.

Shortfatdyke

07:16 / 12.05.02

there's always a risk with tracking people down, but maybe if you don't do it, you'll always be wondering.

but is that the issue? or is it just manifesting itself that way? - you won't know til you do this thing, perhaps.

i'm always analysing my life. i hate it when people disappear - i have also very recently lost someone i care about deeply and i'm grieving, seriously. but loss is part of life, not one of the good parts but it has to be dealt with.

i've learned coping mechanisms to deal with the 'just can't be happy today' thing. i write if i possibly can (horror stories being perfect for these moods!) or get my arse out of the house and go somewhere i like. or during the good times i write positive statements about myself and make sure it's to hand for when i feel down.

Ganesh

10:04 / 12.05.02

Um... because unpleasant, frustrating things make us unhappy? That'd be my guess.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

15:31 / 12.05.02

ganesh, the one of us authorized by wherever to spout psychobabble, always manages to avoid it,
god i love it here sometimes

w1rebaby

15:51 / 12.05.02

Frankly, the last thing you need in a psychiatrist is the tendency to spout psychobabble... if more of them could say "stop whining and adapt" the world would be a better place.

that

15:53 / 12.05.02

That's all mine have ever said, and believe me, it doesn't help... but the pills are starting to, which is nice.

w1rebaby

16:01 / 12.05.02

Mine spends half the time playing with his Palm Pilot, and the other half pumping me for information about the drugs I work on. I did hear of an interesting creative writing program from him, though.

that

16:02 / 12.05.02

Dude.

w1rebaby

16:05 / 12.05.02

my therapist though...

...hang on, I'm turning into Woody Allen. This must stop.

Ganesh

16:22 / 12.05.02

Elijah, feeling "bummed" for one day after failing to achieve what you wanted does not somehow bring you within the remit of me or any other psychiatrist. Unless you have been feeling this way for two weeks or more without any respite or pleasure, you are not "really depressed".

Stop whining and adapt.

(Insert smiley of your choice.)

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