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So awful it's awesome...

  
 
Murray Hamhandler
03:24 / 10.05.02
I'm thinking that this could be the most awesome thing ever. God bless Portal Of Evil and all of their horrible, wonderful links!
Arthur Sudnam, II
 
 
Margin Walker
08:18 / 10.05.02
Awe inspiringly, jaw dropingly awful, you say? I got that in spades:

Learn how to play chess from TV's Screech

Yes, you too can learn how to play chess from this former child actor of the inexpicably awful "Saved By The Bell"...



...For

Four

(yes, 4!)

FUCKING!!

HOURS!!!!!
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
08:34 / 10.05.02
From the link above:

I really loved watching Dustin play the different characters. It made chess fun and the tapes a blast to watch. I watch them over and over again.

G. Spadafore - Newark NJ


I think I'm going to be sick...
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
09:01 / 10.05.02
I actually watched one of the video clips for this. The "different characters"? He dresses up and pretends to be a cowboy and an Arab and stuff.

Oh, my sides, my sides.
 
 
Lurid Archive
09:17 / 10.05.02
Do they at least throw in some transvestitism? And some egg whisk and prawn cocktail action, for us in the back row?
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
09:24 / 10.05.02
I actually watched one of the video clips for this. The "different characters"? He dresses up and pretends to be a cowboy and an Arab and stuff.

Ah ha! Clearly my recent trend of bad chess playing is due to my lack of pantomime wardrobe…
 
 
mondo a-go-go
13:45 / 10.05.02
what? dood got rid of his jewfro. maaan.
 
 
Saint Keggers
15:36 / 10.05.02
Gotta love the dramatic lighting on that pic. It gives him the "I will now bend this chess piece using only the powers of..MY MIND!!!!"look. gasp!
Watch your ass Kreskin! He's gunning for you!
 
 
w1rebaby
15:45 / 10.05.02
What about Wake Up Gay?
 
 
bitchiekittie
15:48 / 10.05.02
the honor of gayskull....werent we just discussing this stuff? did one of you write that?

and I just misspelled "write". argh I need more sleep
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
15:55 / 10.05.02
Do they at least throw in some transvestitism?

Lurid, the concept of Screech in a frock is second only in horribleness to the concept of you wanting to see Screech in a frock.
 
 
w1rebaby
16:10 / 10.05.02
Oh come on. If I posted a link to a picture of Screech in a frock, how many people would check it? Shitloads.

I might try that later on tonight.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:23 / 10.05.02
Okay then...
 
 
bitchiekittie
17:34 / 10.05.02
jesus. you people give me more goddamn nightmares
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
18:15 / 10.05.02
Quote--"dood got rid of his jewfro"

we actually always called it a Hebro...
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
22:42 / 10.05.02
more goddamn nightmares

BWHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
 
 
Margin Walker
09:31 / 12.05.02


YATTA!!!

YATTA!!!

YATTA!!!
 
 
mondo a-go-go
09:54 / 13.05.02
elijah -- you may call it a hebro, but i know it as jewfro. my friend who used to have one called it a jewfro (justifiably, as he was jewish). the beastie boys did a whole massive feature on jewfros in 'grand royal' -- including an interview with dustin. mike d also grew a mullet for that issue and spike jonze said he thought it was the coolest thing in the world...
 
 
Mystery Gypt
10:46 / 13.05.02
... and, to further connect those dots, there was always that heated rumor, oft denied, that Screech was Mike D's brother...
 
 
Margin Walker
19:10 / 13.05.02
According to this Onion interview, Screech & Mike D. aren't related

But this is a moot point, as there is much YATTA! goodness to be had. Who are you to resist such sublime lyrics (oh, Elysium!) as...

"I drink water that's tasty! (All right!)
I get in the sun and feel toasty! (All right!)
Havin' a belly laugh's fun! (All right! All right!)
Try keeping dogs--they're cute! (All right!)

[Repeat]"
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
23:37 / 13.05.02
From the Childhood Memories Collection:

"Our gleeful, nearly foot-and-a-half tall sculpture is meticulously handcast in designer resin replicating a work of art that’s been bringing smiles for over a century...."
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
23:38 / 13.05.02
Not from Kitty, it ain't.
 
 
Margin Walker
06:37 / 22.05.02
Guess what? Screech, our favorite Kasparov-in-waiting, will fight Horshack (a.k.a. Ron “The Pulverizer” Palillo) on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing II"

If the lowest common denominator gets any lower, this country's gonna get the fuckin' bends....
 
 
Grey Area
07:16 / 22.05.02
That's assuming your country ever resurfaces from this lowest common denomiator (and does it quickly)...you could just be crushed by the incredible pressure. Personally, I think this is much more likely. :P
 
 
CameronStewart
12:33 / 22.05.02
That Yatta thing is a joke - it's deliberately ridiculous.

So it doesn't quite qualify as camp...
 
 
grant
15:30 / 22.05.02
Mordant - o my god. o my god. o my god.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
15:41 / 22.05.02
What- Screech in drag, or the garden ornament?
 
 
Knight's Move
16:33 / 22.05.02
Why not both?

I really have to get the Screech thing...or maybe I really need to get help.
 
 
grant
18:00 / 22.05.02
the garden ornament.

I really want to know if i could drill a hole into the cat's head to attach to a fountain pump, so water would come out of its mouth.
 
 
grant
18:49 / 22.05.02
It's very pink.

And you can make it yourself.
 
 
Margin Walker
08:22 / 24.05.02
Have you ever wanted to learn how to dance? How about learning to dance from a dork that looks like he just got done working at The Olive Garden? Make no mistake: Germans are not only lame dancers, but also lame dance instructors. The dub & hip hop clips had me laughing my ass off.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:14 / 24.05.02
Awww! I'm all broody now.
 
 
A
06:45 / 25.05.02
I took an informal poll at a party recently, on whether "jewfro" or "hebro" was the more appropriate term (i used my young friend and guitarist James as an example of said 'do).

By an overwhelming majority, "hebro" was the winner.
 
  
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