Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Conversation >

How do they do that?

04:14 / 05.05.02

You argue with a friend to the point where seperation is the only option. Shortly afterward you discover that although you harbour an everlasting concern for them, they don't care one bit about you, as if it was like turning off a tap for them once you parted.
How do they do that? Why do they do it? It's something wrong with them, right?

05:17 / 05.05.02

Maybe they are concerned. And maybe they think you aren't.

05:32 / 05.05.02

Already checked, with disheartening results.

05:41 / 05.05.02

It's something wrong with them, right?
Yes. They may have a utilitarian friendship-scheme, the affects of which usually clearly manifest themselves in old age. It isn't really the best scheme.

Your dis-ease with the situation is probably healthy.

Feel free to ignore my words. I have only had 21 years of life, and I think I'll need 1000 before I become very wise.

06:27 / 05.05.02

If its termination brought relief to at least one of you, perhaps there was "something wrong" with the friendship generally rather than specifically him. Maybe the relationship was more one-sided than you thought...

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

16:21 / 05.05.02

And old rule I go by is:

You can't make someone give a damn about you.

If someone is able to just walk away from a friendship doesn't mean that they never were your friend, just that they aren't now. And that's OK. Sometimes you find out something about a person you can't deal with anymore. Maybe they change. Maybe they freaked out, stalked you and then lied about it when they got caught (oh, wait, that's one of MY friends), but in the end, all you can really do is just say goodbye and every once in a while send them a polite note letting them know you are thinking of them and hope they are doing fine.

I had a friend about two years ago do that with me, and we started talking again after 5 years of hurt feelings. No, we're aren't as close as we used to be, but we're both different people now.

00:08 / 06.05.02

Wow, thanks. Next, how did you know precisely the perfect answer to my question?