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Underground > Creation >

Cartoons of the Eighties: 20 Years On

  
 
Captain Zoom
19:47 / 25.04.02
Interior of typical interview programme set

Interviewer: Thanks for tuning in to what promises to be the first in a shocking and powerful series of exposes. With us in the studio tonight is a star of not only television, but her own line of toys and books. Ladies and gentlemen, Strawberry Shortcake.

Strawberry Shortcake: Thank you. It's lovely to be here.

Interviewer: It's been a few years since you've been in front of the cameras Ms. Shortcake. And, if you don't mind my saying so, the years have certainly been kind. Last time we saw you, you were a little girl. Why don't you fill us in on what's been happening for you in the last 20 years.

Shortcake: It's really a long, dull story. After the show folded, and the toy and book sales fizzled out, me and some of the girls did some theme park work, but even that didn't really pan out. As we got a little older the things they wanted us to do get increasingly, um, more bizarre. Me and Blueberry Muffin got out early, but as far as I know some of the other girls are still there. There were things involving fruits and baked goods that I still shudder to think of.

Interviewer: But after that, things started looking up again....

Shortcake: That's right. There was a brief revival in, I think, "91, but it was short-lived at best. Nobody was interested in dolls that smelled like fruit. And, to be honest, we were all getting a bit old for that frilly dress and cute pets thing.

Interviewer: So, after the revival in 1991, where did you go?

Shortcake: Well, me and Blue and Apricot and Butter Cookie moved to Seattle and tried to get into the music scene. But it was really hard, y'know. There was so much good music going on there at the time that basically we were thought of as a bit of a joke. We called ourselves "The Smelly Dollz", but in retrospect, it probably would have been better to divorce ourselves completely from the past.

Interviewer: But that was something that was really out of your hands, as we'll see after these commercials, when we talk about the Purple Pieman, and his unexpected return to your life.

Pans back and fades to commercial
 
 
DuskySally
04:14 / 02.05.02
Commercial:

Shadowed face, strange psuedo spanish accent on a female voice-
“She was a little full of herself, sure, but they had auditioned 800-900 people for the part, you know? They picked the rest of us of the street. I was selling egg plants and lilacs in a bodega. And she didn’t care about that. She had room for everyone, you know? That was the whole idea.

“....yeah, I remember when she started on cocaine. I couldn’t tell the difference, really.”

Cut to a young woman. She looks to be in her late teens, a star tattooed on her cheek. There are rainbow streaks in her long blonde hair. She is smoking what looks to be a red papered cigarette.

“Acid was the best thing that happened to me. If you want to see the real colors of the rainbow, that’s the way to go.
Oh, E’s good too, don’t get me wrong. But I’ve been feeling cuddly for everyone since this whole thing started.
I smoke up every morning. Nicotine just makes me edgy. So does caffeine. Stuff’s really bad for you.”

Pan out from young woman’s face. She is surrounded by a group of rainbow colored candy ravers:

“The people in the New York rave scene have been very good to me. It’s not a cult, really. It’s just a bunch of kids having fun. And Red always said I liked being the center of attention. I got alot of royalties from the show, and I used it to support my friends.

“We believe in love, and having fun that’s all.”

Cut to clips from Rainbow Brite, distorted, played in slow motion and in black and white.

VO: “She brought color into our lives. Now learn to the true story behind Rainbow Brite. Drug abuse, Conflict, Underground Cults. The Rainbow Brite Story.”
 
 
FinderWolf
04:20 / 02.05.02
These are pretty good! Nice job!
 
 
Mr Tricks
17:53 / 02.05.02
Next week on E's true anima stories...

He-Man an his Green tiger... The PETA contravercy that never made the news!!!
 
 
Saint Keggers
18:39 / 02.05.02
To most people they seemed like your average bunch of kids. The jock, the geek, the washout and the promqueen. But was there more going on in their lives than most people imagine. What cause them all to go isane and murder one of the US's best loved basketball teams The Harlem Globe Trotters.
Did Fred's quest for fame as a TV detective ruin him and those around him? Or was Daphne's ego what led them down this dark path. Perhaps brainy Thelma led them into things man was not meant to know. Shaggy? Did his drug problem finally lead them to such extreems? And who was "Scrappy"? Was he the mythical crime boss known as Don Scrapnelli.

In the trial transcripts its obvious that drugs and strange occult rituals were an integral part of their lives. Much like the Son of Sam killer, they too blamed all the murders on a mysterious talking dog. Who was this Scooby and what did he Doo?
 
 
Captain Zoom
20:21 / 02.05.02
Zooms back in on interview set

Interviewer: Thanks for rejoining us. I'm here with Strawberry Shortcake, beloved heroine of cartoons and toys. Before the break we were talking about your Seattle grunge days. Once you'd decided to quit the music biz, what happened?

Shortcake: Well, I kind of lost touch with the other girls. Without the show or the toys, or even the music, we found that we didn't really have too much in common. I used most of what was left of the royalties to set myself up in Vancouver. I've always loved the mountains. I spent most of my time thinking about the glory days and draining bottles of JD. And just as I was hitting rock bottom, Purp walked back into my life.

Interviewer: And by "Purp" you're of course referring to the Purple Pieman, your nemesis from the cartoon?

Shortcake: Yes.

Interviewer: During the original run of the cartoon there was some controversy over this grown man starring alongside a group of very young girls. I'm sure you've heard the allegations, but is there anything you'd like to say about this?

Shortcake: Anything you've heard is patently untrue. Purp was a father-figure to all of us. He helped us get to know the business, always there with a kind word or a shoulder to cry on. A true professional and a pleasure to work with. I don't know who started these slanderous lies, but they're not true.

Interviewer: And when he found you in Vancouver, what happened?

Shortcake: Well, at this point I was drunk 23 out of 24 hours in the day, and I was not distinguishing between reality and fantasy very well. At first I was very rude to him. I mean, he'd been my adversary for so many years. But once he sobered me up and took me to the museum and up Grouse Mountain, and showed me that there was another life to live apart from the show and the toys, I realized just what a wonderful man he was.

Interviewer: The wedding came fairly soon afterwards.

Shortcake: It was beautiful. We invited everyone from the show. I won't name names, but seeing the state of a few of them really broke my heart. There were lots of others too, He-Man and She-Ra, Rainbow Brite, who was just lovely, some of the surviving Joes and a few Care Bears. Optimus Prime showed up to drive us to the hotel. It was just wonderful, and it's been a wonderful 7 years.

Interviewer: We're running short on time, so I'll ask the question that's been on everyone's minds: Are there plans for a second generation of the Shortcake/Pieman family?

Shortcake: Deep Blush, matching her hair Actually, I suppose now's as good a time as any. We're due in September.

Interviewer: Well congratulations. I'm sure that you'll be as adept at motherhood as you were at entertainment. Thank you so much for joining us today. I wish we had more time.

Shortcake: Thanks for having me.

Interviewer: Turns to camera And thank you for tuning in. Next week join us for an inside look at the cartoon girl turned cult leader. That's The Rainbow Brite Story, next week on Cartoons of the 80's.

Fade out and pan back as interviewer and Shortcake continue to chat.
 
  
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