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4.55 Psychosis

03:06 / 14.04.02

i hate this time of the morning.

as an update to the 'scary stuff' thread (remember? me od'ing and passing out on a bus, much to the overwhelming indifference of the other passengers): i went back to the docs. saw a nice man, who informed me that he basically didn't trust me with a painkiller that might actually work due to 'my history' and tried to put me on the pill. great to be treated like a child, so i saw a much nicer female doctor who understood that i just wanted to ease my menstrual cramps without fucking up my liver with painkiller ods. so she gave me some kick-ass (i hope) prescription painkillers. i'm on them now. the pain has eased, certainly. but i can't sleep, and i thought it was only pmt that made you *hate everybody* and want to weep. or perhaps it's not the pills. whatever. i guess it's the kind of time that i should be writing some horror fiction....

anyone else up and fucked off?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

03:20 / 14.04.02

I'm up, at work and fucked off. Hopefully you've managed to get to sleep by now, but if not, here's nice thoughts coming your way.

03:23 / 14.04.02

at work! ye gods, far more reason to be fucked off than me. actually, i would love to work a night job, well in theory anyway. at least the cats have stopped yowling outside my window, and i've had a cup of tea, and everything's better after a cup of tea, right?

06:37 / 14.04.02

SFD, whilst I'm in no way medically qualified to advise you on your menstrual problems, the symptoms you've described in the past do bear more than a passing resemblance to the same thing a close friend of mine went through for several years. She had had menstrual cramps - violent enough to keep her off work - for some time, coupled with nausea, vomiting and bowel problems. She went to several doctors who fobbed her off, pretty much telling her that she was a stupid little girl and should go home and take some . After years of this, my partner - who studied nursing - told her to persist with her GP, who finally took her seriously enough to send her to a gynaecologist. Said gynaecologist took one look at her and was horrified that her text-book case endometriosis had been allow to go on for so long. Said friend is now finally getting the help she needs.

Whilst I certainly don't want to alarm you, or to make any mistaken judgement, the symptoms you've described do sound a mite similar, and it may be worth getting it checked out.

The Endometriosis Association page can be found at:

http://www.endometriosisassn.org/

They also have an informative checklist, found at:

http://208.20.109.224/endo/endro.html

Hope this helps...

07:27 / 14.04.02

SFD, I assume your "history" is one of either overdose/self-harm or addictive behaviour? I can see how you'd feel patronised by the first doctor but I suspect his decision was more influenced by the general defensiveness that's gradually pervading UK medical practice. More and more, doctors are being held responsible for the actions of their patients, so I guess he wasn't willing to put his neck even slightly on the line. Luckily, the second one was willing to take a modicum of risk with you.

Hope the situation eases up for you, and you can get some sleep.

09:21 / 14.04.02

ganesh - i did appreciate what the doc was saying, although i only ever took two od's, five or more years ago - a week after the first one, where it was iffy whether or not i was going to survive it - another doc gave me a big pile of sleeping tablets. that was fucked up; in my state at the time, it looked to me like she *wanted* me to take them again. so i would've appreciated the cautious approach back then.

tez - my mother used to become delirious with menstrual pain, with docs telling her over and over it was 'all in her head'. luckily she eventually found a doc who took her seriously. i asked my doc last week about a hysterectomy, but it was no go, not at this stage anyway. will check out the site. thanks.

14:20 / 14.04.02

I was on strong painkillers for a few months several years ago sfd and like you, I got welcome relief from the analgaesics but the buzz of them kept me awake at night.

I had had a series of hypnosis sessions a few years before that (to stop me smoking, which worked for a few weeks and then not) and still had guided visualisation /relaxation tapes from that time so I used them and they worked a treat.

On one side of the tape was a series of systematic physical relaxation exercises which worked really well (also great for long haul flights which scared the shit out of me once upon a time) and on the other was a "visualisation" session, bit like a guided meditation, which just involved removing your head to a better place and time and learning how to take yourself there when the stress was squeezing you hard.

I found both very useful and still practise the routines when I come over all insomniac, which fortunately doesn't happen much these days. There are lots of these things in complementary medicine & some mainstream bookshops usually but I found I needed one with a voice I could relax to and where the language wasn't too wanky for my basic working class sceptic persona.

I would happily send you mine but gave it to a friend years ago and never got it back.

I was working shifts as a psychiatric nurse then and I was fine when I didn't start till lunchtime but 7 o' clock starts were killers on no sleep. The greatest danger, I found, was on my days off when I'd be up reading all night and then would sleep through the next day and that very quickly precipitates all my anti-social and depressive tendencies and I had to work to avoid that downward spiral.

Take care and sweet dreams.