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Queen Mother - Bored of Remembrance

  
 
Tezcatlipoca
07:40 / 13.04.02
Apologies for the lack of intelligent content in this thread, but I thought it was probably time for a little light relief...

I trust there are no Royalists out there...


---------------------------------------
Excerpts from The Board of Remembrance:
---------------------------------------
"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face".
L.Ward, Mansfield.
----------------------------------------------------------
"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I
did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile
for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
A.Christie,Hendon.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are shit"
J.Clement. Grantham.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
D.Holmes, Somerset.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover".
L. J.Worthington, Penrith.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the dayoff".
S.Wilson, Bristol.
----------------------------------------------------------
"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal
family without being accused of being homosexual".
J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to
experiment with drugs".
E. Franks, Cheshire.
----------------------------------------------------------
"On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".
T.Watson, Ilford.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive
around The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".
Y. Howell, Slough.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman
should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?"
W.Waugh, Richmond.
----------------------------------------------------------
"It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
K. O'Neil, Inverness.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her
public duties".
N. Wallace, Swansea.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this
terrible event"
E. Thompson, West Lothian.
---------------------------------------------------------
"Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel
better"
P.McGregor, Southampton.
---------------------------------------------------------
"We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels, jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk
past her coffin".
R. Thompson, Bath.
---------------------------------------------------------
"I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so
again until her majesty is buried"
E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
---------------------------------------------------------
"Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
R. Combes, Romford.
---------------------------------------------------------
"No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a
smile. Just like a retard"
G. Hollins, East Sussex.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so
kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you
know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of shit'. She was a
wondrous person".
E.Collier, London.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
G.Williams, West Midlands.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a good way. God bless you ma'am".
L. Weller, Harlow.
----------------------------------------------------------
"If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you
heartless bastard!"
J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is given a life of privilege and comfort"
T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.
---------------------------------------------------------
 
 
gozer the destructor
09:54 / 13.04.02
Fantastic...I was listening to the radio the other day and the first sound byte at the funeral was a boy who said something along the lines of, "I just think it was really great how she fought for us in the war."(!?)

...good grief...as charlie brown would say...
 
 
Mourne Kransky
12:45 / 13.04.02
First news item about the tragic and unexpected death of the dear old QM said that Tony Blair had made a good speech in memoriam in which he had his finger on the pulse. Surely not.
 
 
Shortfatdyke
13:13 / 13.04.02
so it was tony blair who declared her dead? my, he does get around....
 
 
Wrecks City-Zen
02:01 / 14.04.02
OMG- I was going to quote something here but they are all so...eerie


I mean the twin towers?
 
 
Turk
05:04 / 14.04.02
You know, however much you try to be funny about the death of the Queen Mum, the solemn heartfelt and geniune words of the loony royalists will have your best effort beat on the laugh-o-meter. My personal favourite of many many ridiculous tributes came in the form of the suggestion made in the Daily Mail that she 'willed' herself to die then in order to not risk spoiling her daughter's jubilee celebrations by dying later around that time. The ultimate sacrifice if you will.
 
 
Wyrd
14:45 / 14.04.02
OK, sorry to get tasteless here, but I got these two jokes about the QM and Diane, and thought you'd appreciate it.

Q. What do the Queen Mother and Princess Diana have in common?
A. They were both pushing 102 when they died.

The QM meets Di in heaven.
"You've got a halo," observes the QM. "What do you have to do to get one of them?"
"Actually, it's a steering wheel," replies Di
 
 
Ganesh
14:47 / 14.04.02
Q: What's hard, purple and smells of piss?

A: The Queen Mother.

Ba-boom.
 
 
Turk
23:49 / 14.04.02
See, not as funny as the pure insanity which comes from the wasn't she brave brigade.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:23 / 15.04.02
I was reading somewhere that because the courts shut for a few days as a mark of respect, a lot of child-protection related cases are going to have to be postponed- possibly for 6 months in some instances. So kids are going to be stuck in care or in abusive homes for that much longer, all because grown adualts apparently can't cope with the death of a 101-year-old stranger. How fucked up is that?
 
  
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