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But I won't do that

21:36 / 12.04.02

A little (very little) back story before I get to the point.

I've recently found myself in one of those horribly confusing 'is it/isn't it', 'does ze/doesn't ze' romantic situations that generally lead to much pain and self-centred whining. The whole thing seems to have become even more... ambiguous... over the last week.

Now, whereas I would traditionally leave well enough alone so as to avoid embarrassment, ridicule, face-slappage etc, it would appear that my brain's 'Caution' switch broke off just after Christmas (due, possibly, to gross overuse).

I think I'm about to make A Grand Gesture.

It's reminded me of something our very own Lady Godiva said to me a few days ago. SHe, if you remember, was worried about fucking up hir current relationship after a little indiscretion. It was decided that, should hir object of desire reject all apologies, hir only recourse would be to strip naked and run down the street, jumping between the roofs of moving cars while screaming of hir love.

I am, it should be pointed out, not about to go that far.

But how far have you gone before now? Please, regale me with your tales of abject stupidity in the face of the most humiliating emotion known to our species.

21:55 / 12.04.02

Oh, "grand gestures". Don't do it. If it needed to be that grand, it wasn't meant to be in the first place. At least, that's my POV.

The stupidest thing I've done was writing her name in the snow on the windscreens of parked cars. In other words, not that stupid. Not even legally actionable.

22:02 / 12.04.02

Oh, it's not all that grand. Just by my standards.

In fact, for most people it's probably the equivalent of looking at someone for a couple of seconds longer than usual.

22:05 / 12.04.02

Okay, how grand? This is necessary for judgement purposes, you understand.

22:10 / 12.04.02

No, no, no. I'm not looking for advice. I never follow it anyway. I'm honestly interested in hearing the extremes to which other people have taken it.

Not that I'm planning to use subsequent replies to make myself feel better once it all goes terribly, terribly wrong, you understand. Oh no.

23:32 / 12.04.02

I once decided to do everything I possibly could to improve myself and my social life, because I was in love with a lady who was already taken. To what extent I succeeded or failed, I cannot say, but it was a good time in my life, anyway.

23:04 / 14.04.02

I'm there, SMS, in that I like how hir presence is making me change myself.

I was, however, hoping for humourous anecdotes and the like. Surely some of our esteemed members have tales of woe to tell?

If it helps, here's what I've done. Ze was massively depressed over the Christmas period, partly due to my own ability to stick my foot in it and say precisely the wrong thing. When I apologised, I was jokingly informed that the only apology that would be accepted would be one that came with flowers. Now, it seems I may have fucked up again. So I've ordered some flowers to be delivered to hir house this week. Like I said, not a big deal really, but not how I'd normally approach things.

Now that I've shown you mine, let me see yours.

wembley can change in 28 days

01:45 / 15.04.02

My grand gestures always fail when they're made in effort to get out of the doghouse. I had one of my worst mornings when I was eighteen or so, came home around six in the morning after an all-night acid trip with my drug buddy dAve, but stopped along the way to pick up a box of doughnuts at Tim Horton's. My mother, who never clued in to the fact that I was massively coming down, was so annoyed that I'd been out all night that my excuse for buying the doughnuts ("I just thought I'd do something nice for everybody ... I just felt like doing something nice") just seemed to give her Go To Your Room argument that much more substance. Sigh.

The Apple-Picker

04:25 / 15.04.02

The only move I've made to get myself out of trouble was: sending the flowers. I'd done something the previous year, by which I knew my best friend would be hurt, even though I thought it was selfish of her to restrict me. The guilt was killing me. And I told her what I'd done. [This is how I came to my conclusion that complete disclosure is more often a selfish act than a righteous one.] My explanations, my apologies, nothing was winning her back.

So I ordered some flowers.

This was my first time doing such a thing.

And let me tell you: $35US does not go very far in buying an impressive bouquet. (Of course, I didn't know this until after they'd arrived.) (At that point $35, was more than I could afford to spend anyway [good gracious, it's more than I can afford to spend now].)

But it worked. We started talking again instead of shouting at each other.

20:01 / 15.04.02

Flowers never go wrong.

A bread machine, that can be a bit elaborate. Especially to an ex. (and that's all I'm saying)

But flowers... they're nice. Seasonal and either local or very exotic.

20:07 / 15.04.02

Just do what you do and be honest and stuff. If you like yourself then you don't need to change for anyone else, and if you don't then you should do the changing for yourself. So, erm, there.

20:23 / 15.04.02

Oh, and if you're strapped for cash, flowers growing in a pot are a lot cheaper than the cut kind.
And, when properly watered, last a lot longer.