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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

The Italian Job

11:12 / 11.04.02

Anyone seen this yet -

(Link fixed)

Italian Job is being re-made with Mark(y) Wahlberg as the Michael Caine character, oh and their re-locating to LA...

I've never actually seen the orginal, well not that I remember but someone I work with really likes it he's very upset - is there any chance this can work?

Any films you'd like to see remade? What films do you think will be remade when we're all grey and old?

Are there any good remakes out there?

11:26 / 11.04.02

Don't. Don't even go there. Mark Wahlberg as Charlie Croker? It'll never work. I can't tell you how outraged I am by this.

gozer the destructor

11:49 / 11.04.02

My god is NOTHING sacred? I thought Get Carter with Sly was bad enough..I wonder if the penny grabbing Maurice Micklewhite will make another cameo? he should be safe guarding these films not help piss on them...!

12:19 / 11.04.02

At least I feel safe in saying that they'll never try to remake The Ipcress File or Funeral In Berlin.

Because as we all know, modern audiences would just find them too confusing...

pointless and uncalled for

12:57 / 11.04.02

They'll have to change the script. There is no way that Marky Mark will be able to properly deliver the line "Lads, I've got a plan"

12:59 / 11.04.02

"You're only supposed to ugh! Uggg! ugugusugugugugugugugu! UUUGGGGGGGGG!"

20:17 / 11.04.02

Not to mention Billion Dollar Brain.

Actually, mad texan dictator... trying to rule the world... not so far fetched, really...

wembley can change in 28 days

01:31 / 12.04.02

There is no way it can work, for the simple reason that no-one will understand why they're driving Austin Minis. It isn't possible to top that car chase sequence, period. Or perhaps they'll be behind the wheels of red, white and blue VW Bugs (the horror!).

10:49 / 12.04.02

Like they'd be driving minis... they'd probably think that was just a bit too smalltime and put them in "high performance sports vehicles".
Which makes me want to shout "That's not the point!That's not the point!That's not the point!That's not the point!That's not the point!That's not the point!That's not the point!That's not the point!" lots.

Why must they do this to all my favourite films?
Get Carter - agh
Rollerball - bastards
Mean Machine - nnnnnn!
The Italian Job - grrr
Day of the Jackal - blublublub

I feel safe saying no-one would remake Escape to Victory, coz everyone bar me thinks it's shite anyway. You know, I'm having trouble thinking of a remake that was actually worthwhile.

Although I am currently considering 'reimagining' Bram Stoker's Dracula. I've got a great title...
Bobby Davro's Dracula (we couldn't get Larry Hagman).
Whaddya think?

gozer the destructor

11:03 / 12.04.02

Escape to victory rocks like a three legged fucking mule!

13:00 / 12.04.02

I love you. I just wanted you to know that.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

15:10 / 12.04.02

Ocean's Eleven. Which is not so much a remake as an Ohhhhmaaarge.

But why does no one ever remake shite? Why do they always try to remake masterpieces?

And does this trend extend into other arts? Will be be seeing 'Mona Lisa' by Hirst modelled by Hurley?

Or better yet, sponsored remakes? "'Adoration of the Magi' by Ruebens. By Givenchi - because adoration is what you want..."

21:55 / 12.04.02

>>>But why does no one ever remake shite? Why do they always try to remake masterpieces?<<<

I've often wondered this - there are sooooooo many films which are [i]almost[/i] - but not quite - great, films with brilliant premises but terrible execution, films with terrific first halves but lousy second halves, etc etc...why not take the opportunity to turn an "almost great" into a "really great"?

I suppose the thinking is that if it was terrible the first time around, audiences will assume that the remake will be no better. Whereas "Planet Of The Apes," "Psycho," et al have proven "brand-name" status...

I wonder how a director in charge of one of these dreadfully misguided remakes - like, say, "Get Carter" - actually feels about what he's doing. Is he comfortable with it? Does he think he's making a good film, or is he aware that it's just a stupid bastardization?

22:25 / 12.04.02

With that question in mind - The Vanishing. Same director on both the original and the remake.

What the fuck happened there? To abandon the entire point of the story like that is just perverse.

13:27 / 13.04.02

And talking of pointless remakes:

http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=1089

16:09 / 13.04.02

And 'Vanishing Point', which I think was remade with the bloke who played Aragorn in LotR. Ok, so 'Vanishing Point' was not all that great to start with, IMHO, but, if my memory serves me correctly, in the remake, he was rushing across America to be with his wife, who was about to give birth. I did not watch it (wonder why?), but you can bet your arse it did not end like the first one did...

A couple of films that would get my vote to be remade with a decent budget and some frigging attention paid to them are:
'A Murder of Crows', a made for tv film with Cuba Gooding Jnr.
and 'Witchblade', which could've been really good if it'd had a feminist director and some serious script changes, and something approaching a plot. Probably as a mini-series or proper series rather than a film though.

10:17 / 14.04.02

More pointless remakes:

Wings of desire? City of Angels? What the fuck?

And similarly the moving of Insomnia from Norway (point) to Alaska (pointless) along with Christopher-Memento-Nolan, Al Pacino as Stellan Skarsgard, Robin Williams probably with a beard, and Maura Tierney and her bum.

I don't know.

Oh, also, films so clearly INFLUENCED by but not remade: Enemy of the State as a shitty knock-off Conversation, etc.

Worst remake news of all time, from today's Sunday Paper:

Nic Cage. As the Sergeant Howie. In the Wicker Man. This is some not good shit, folks

13:37 / 16.04.02

Nononononononono. No.

Please say you're joking.

The Return Of Rothkoid

14:08 / 16.04.02

Well, there's an old story about it here. And it gets better: the director of the second Blair Witch flick was meant to direct.

Ahem.

On another note; anyone heard anything more about the Ring remake? Isn't it out soon?

wembley can change in 28 days

14:27 / 16.04.02

Whaaaaaat? No. You don't remake The Wicker Man.

What do you think is in the heads of these people? I mean, Marilyn Manson does a really interesting (at least for the first 30 seconds)cover of "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics, and the world doesn't fall apart. Jacob Dylan redoes "Heroes" and it ends up exactly like the original, just with "bland" tattooed on its arse. Covers of songs are at least successful if they bring something new to the piece and are really interesting.

But covers of movies? What made anyone think that another film was necessary after seeing Wings of Desire? What makes them think they can do it more interestingly or entertainingly or with a better-used budget? Why don't I just sit down and rewrite Bleak House, updating it, keeping the characters, dialogue and plot, but dumbing it down a bunch, losing all the artistry, and then call it Bleak House? Do they figure that the people who know the originals will probably hate them (they might be curious), but at least they'll get the younger generation's money? And I hate to accuse actors of being whores, but why are they taking these jobs?

And why do they keep picking classic, brillinat films? If you recognized the mastery of The Italian Job, you wouldn't want to remake it, right? Where am I missing a synapse, here?

15:43 / 16.04.02

I must have had this thread in the back of my mind on my most recent trip to North Bay. We stopped off at my brother's friends place, where we were staying, and they were just finishing watching 13 Ghosts, which I'm pretty sure was done by the same people who did House on Haunted Hill, both remakes of William Castle gimmick horror.

I thought, well, here's a few films that were based on "bad" movies. The problem is, the more I thought about it, can you really say that there is such a thing as a bad movie? Almost all movies have a cult following, and in the case of the William Castle remakes, even though most people wouldn't care or were glad for the updates, I'm sure there were a whole lot of fans of the movie who couldn't believe this travesty.

15:59 / 16.04.02

There's one in the pipeline that might just work, and that's Barbarella, with Drew Barrymore in the title role. I think the time is right for a camp, saucy film that makes the most of the incredibly sexy fabrics available today. As long as they don't do it as a spoof or a piss-take of 60s design/culture (a la Austin Powers), they might just pull it off.

14:25 / 21.04.03

The trailer's out.

It reminds me so much of the remake game,where you take an old, well regarded film and imagine the worst possible Hollywood version of it?
" Dude, they'd get monkey-kisser Marky Mark Wahlberg to be a hip young Charlie Croker, give Mr Bridger a sexy safecracker daughter (love interest), played by Charlize Theron. Then they'd relocate the film to present day LA, but still call it The Italian Job, just to dust it with the ashes of the original in a hope it will rub off!"
The game has obviously caught on in the boardrooms of Paramount.
I'm not saying the original Italian Job is a fantastic film, I'm just so totally gobsmacked that they even bothered remaking it in this form. The original fans will loathe it, and people who've never heard of it won't give a crap whether it's called 'The Italian Job' or 'Mr Croker's Wild Ride'. Edward Norton has recently been saying that he was only involved in this through contractual obligation. I wonder how many other people involved wish they could say that too...

12:45 / 15.05.03

Been looking at reviews of the preview to this remake and its a bit of an Evil Dead 2 by the sounds of it. By this I mean that the first Half of Evil Dead 2 was a remake of Evil Dead and then the second half was the sequel. Half way through Evil Dead 2 is the scene that was the end of Evil Dead and from this point on the sequel starts.

Minor spoilers follow...

Now, getting back to The Italian Job remake, it starts in Venice with the thieves pulling off a heist stealing loads of Gold in Mini Coopers and then escaping into the mountains. Then instead of the ending we have in the original film, a double cross takes place and one of the crew runs off with all the Gold. From this point on its about the thieves trying to steal the gold back off the double crosser. (Which takes place in LA). For some reason that puts it in a better light for me and I loved the original. Still not sure about it though. I'll wait till more reviews come in.

13:38 / 15.05.03

If they continued this Evil Dead 2 metaphor and cast Bruce Campbell in the Charlie Croker role it might just work. Nothing less than Bruce could save this premise.

14:56 / 15.05.03

Caine said in an interview recently that there was always supposed to be sequel, which is why the first one ended on that scene, but the cash wasn't there to finance it. I can't remember the specifics of what he said the sequel's plot was going to be, but that sounds about right; they lose Bridger's gold and have to get it back.

gentleman loser

19:27 / 15.05.03

Judging from the trailer:

A. It looks suspiciously like a Mini Cooper infomercial, much like Matrix:Reloaded looks like a Cadillac infomercial. B. It stars Edward Norton. I fucking hate Edward Norton. C. If you don't hate Edward Norton, watch Death to Smoochy. Trust me, you will after that. D. If Bruce Campbell sawed up the rest of the cast with his Evil Dead chainsaw arm, I'd love it.

14:30 / 19.09.03

sorry to be dragging this thread back up to the fore-front, but as I'm seeing nothing but (really) bad reviews for this I was reminded of a little piece of information/gossip/whatever about this remake.

it goes like this: sortly after BMW started production on their version of the Mini, someone in their organisation came up with the brilliant idea of remaking the "Italian Job" so they could use it to advertise the new car. Just like British Leyland did with the original... NOT.

So we are exposed to this steaming pile of crap all because a major mulit-national wants to sell their product to us (and not in the normal manner of Hollywood where the product is the film itself).

Anyone else hear this story?

nedrichards is confused

22:32 / 19.09.03

Didn't hear that particular one but as trailers for cars go the remake of the Bourne Identity (surprisingly fun) had a very, very good Mini sequence. Yay to Minis down staircases!