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Cereal Aisle Racist

  
 
grant
18:05 / 10.04.02
I wasn't sure where to post this. It's a slam poem by a friend of mine, The Klute.
I like it. You have to picture it spoken as a kind of rhythmic rant.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Cereal Aisle Racist

It was somewhere between the waffle mix and the maple syrup
That I realized that we still live in a racist society
Now, it’s not overt as it used to be
We don’t have whites only water fountains anymore
And no one’s asking anyone to sit in the back of the bus
But it’s still there, right there,
Between the waffle mix and the maple syrup
In the cereal aisle
The Post Sugar Bear is a racist icon
Think about it:
The Sugar Bear, with his deep, lyrical voice and brown fur
Is the archetypal Negro minstrel stereotype
The cereal that he so desires is Super Golden Crisp
Golden. Gold. Money.
And who possesses this gold?
Granny, a little white old lady
The people at Post don’t show the Sugar Bear working hard,
Earning the money for his cereal?
No.
They show him stealing the cereal from a helpless little white old lady
Sometimes, roughing her up to get it.
What kind of message is this sending to our kids
They might as well change the slogan from “Can’t Get Enough of That Golden Crisp!”
To “All the Blacks Want to Steal Your Gold!”
And guess where Post Cereals is based?
The South.
So I don’t think I’m too far off the mark on this one.
All the white cereal mascots are in positions of power.
CAPTAIN Crunch… COUNT Chocula… KING Vitamin…
It doesn’t stop at the cereal aisle though
All the great chefs of the supermarket have last names
Except for the black chefs
Sara LEE… Betty CROCKER… Duncan HINES… Marie CALLENDER…
But poor old Aunt Jemima remains nameless, working in Dolly MADISON’s kitchen
While Uncle Ben shills rice in aisle 22 for his corporate slavemasters
But at least they have first names!
Does anyone know the name of the guy on the Cream of Wheat box?
I didn’t think so.
We’re segregating our foods as we’ve segregated the country.
The Jews, The Mexicans, the Asians
All have been redlined into the ghetto that is the Ethnic Foods aisle
While Shake and Bake, Manwich Sauce, and White Bread fill the store
But a day’s coming, when the Manischevitz Wine will break bread with Uncle Ben
And the Ortega Taco shells will stand with the Chung King Soy Sauce
The bar code readers at the check out line will read “Kill Whitey”
And the Sugar Bear will let out a mighty roar
Tearing down the aisles and toasting the Wonder Bread
Erasing the redlines and moving next door to Betty and Duncan
And after reading the works of Elijah Muhammed,
The guy on the Cream of Wheat box will change his name to Wheat X
And tell the Saturday morning cartoon watching kids that
Nothing warms you in the morning like a bowl of hot cereal
And that the Man is a bastard
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
19:38 / 10.04.02
I had no idea that Sugar Bear did anything but tell kids to eat cereal that rots their teeth. Prolly because The Man stopped all the "story" cereal commercials and instead just has the character tell you to eat the damn stuff.

I'll have to ask about that next time I go to Cereal Adventure at the Mall of America.

And whatever happened to the Sugar Pops Cowboy?
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
19:51 / 10.04.02
I'm assuming that all makes sense if you're an American?
 
 
Utopia
21:09 / 10.04.02
oh. oh. that's classic!

Rose, are you telling me there's a cereal store at the mall of Fucking America!? Give me directions! Now!!!
 
 
The Monkey
22:17 / 10.04.02
Yes, but what of the Silly Rabbit who can't process that Trix are for kids? Toucan Sam and Lucky the Leprechan are pretty dodgy, too, what with all of that scamming to get a fix of their favorite sugary cereals...in fact, why do cereal-plugging animations remind me so much of characters from Trainspotting?

Did you want pukka critique, or is this just a show piece?
 
 
MJ-12
00:54 / 11.04.02
You have to picture it spoken as a kind of rhythmic rant.

I've heard something quite similar to this a number of years ago, and it really works better in a full on NOI cadence.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
01:13 / 11.04.02
And what about Coco the Coco-Pops monkey? How racist an icon is he?

I want the gorrila back. Okay, the connotations were still there, but at least the gorilla had gravitas.
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
01:31 / 11.04.02
Oh it's more than a store...it's a mini-amusement type park where you see how cereal is made, make your own kind of cereal and can buy Buy BUY shirts, bowls, etc...

It's like Battle Creek, Michigan except in a mall.
 
 
grant
18:02 / 11.04.02
Being American helps.



Apparently "Wheat X" has a name - Rastus. Not everyone knows that, even though he's been around for a while.

then


now


You gotta read this, too:

This logo was used until the 1920s, when the woodcut image was replaced by the face of a Chicago waiter who was paid five dollars to pose in a chef's hat and jacket. The face of this unknown man has been featured on the box with only slight modifications until the present day.
....

To represent Uncle Ben the men used the restaurant's maitre d', Frank Brown whom they considered a good friend.
....

Many African Americans object to the term "Uncle" (or "Aunt") when used in this context, as it was a southern form of address first used with older enslaved peoples, since they were denied use of courtesy titles.

....
Marilyn Kern-Foxworth, in her book Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben and Rastus, calls Aunt Jemima "...the most battered woman in America..."

....

The most famous of and the first Aunt Jemima was Nancy Green, a former slave. Green portrayed Aunt Jemima from 1893 until her death in 1923. Over the decades legends were written, to promote the idea that Aunt Jemima was a real cook who made the best pancakes in the south. When in reality it was a clever promotional strategy that made the company one of the most famous in the world.



Aunt Jemima
Does anybody know what ever happened to
Aunt Jemima on the pancake box?
Rumor has it that she just up and disappeared.
Well, I know the real story
you see I ran into Aunt Jemima one day.
She told me she got tired of wearing that rag wrapped around her head.
And she got tired of making pancakes and waffles for other people to
eat while she couldn't sit down at the table.
She told me that Lincoln emancipated the slaves
but she freed her own damn self.
You know
The last time I saw Aunt Jemima
She was driving a Mercedes-Benz
with a bumper sticker on the back that said
"free at last, free at last,
thank God all mighty
I am free at last."
-- Sylvia Dunnavant, 1983

....
 
 
Baz Auckland
18:49 / 11.04.02
Anyone seen Ghost World?



Coon's Chicken was it?
 
  
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