Here’s two interesting experiences I’ve had recently, one demonstrating some spectacular beginner’s luck, and one demonstrating how stupid you can be when you feel like you’re on a roll. Comments and advice from all and sundry would be appreciated...
To give a bit of background, I’ve been doing a lot of dreamwork recently, reading up on it from as many angles as possible (mainly Jung, La Berge and Moss, as well as looking at my dreams within a shamanic framework through some help from the wise and patient Mr Tuppan, as well as reading a bit of Harner). I’ve had a number of experiences or dreams that have had profound psychological benefits, been of a prophetic nature, or fitted more comfortably within what little I understand of shamanic experience. I’ve also had a number of friends seem to gravitate towards me for the interpretation of their dreams.
My first recent experience involved a friend who had been ill for a number of weeks with a severe cold/flu type bug. During this time she had recurring dreams that were infested with small yellow dogs with bared teeth. Although they were not overtly dangerous, they were irritating and were in her way in her dreams. I surmised that they were a dream representation of her illness. As I drifted off to sleep last Sunday I found myself visualising myself in her dream, surrounded by these little dogs (found myself is the correct term - I hadn’t consciously incubated this experience, nor was I truly asleep. It seemed to come unbidden, when the time was right). I reached down and grabbed one of them, tearing its innards out, and as I did this the action sympathetically effected all the others. The scene was filled with dead dogs covered in blood, their guts stringing out from gaping abdominal wounds. Then a huge surge of pure spring water washed the entire area of the corpses. They were washed into a furnace and cremated. I then spent the next few minutes physically exhaling in ordinary reality, as though I were exhaling the smoke and their ashes, fanning the fumes away from my face so as not to inhaled what I’d breathed out.
The second case is me being really dumb and arrogant. I have a friend who’s going through a nasty bout of depression, who has also been sharing her dreams with me. I thought it would be good to incubate an a journey into their dream environment, to see if I could physically interact with the symbols in order to gain more insight. I had a sneaking suspicion that the events of their dream (without going into specifics) indicated that a soul retrieval was necessary. So, like a twat, I thought I’d investigate.
I entered the dream environment pretty easily through directing my hypnogogic imagery (I had been to this place in ordinary reality, so it wasn’t hard to visualise the slightly different version she had dreamed of). I was accompanied by a guide who I’ve encountered several times in dreams (curious but decent fellow. Is definitely a kind of teacher, only communicates in gestures rather than spoken language). I located what I thought might be the soul fragment using a woodblock instrument he’d given me in an earlier encounter - when I played it seemed to reveal hidden things in the area. I pursued what seemed to be the fragment into an immense field of grey/white light. It was no longer moving, but imprisoned in a cage made out of fire. A man stood next to the cage - his appearance was like a mutual friend, who had appeared in my friend’s dream as a teacher/benign presence. I questioned him at this point, as to whether I was able to open the cage. He smiled but did not answer. The cage door swung open at will to reveal an empty space inside. The man said “There’s nothing there,” and for a second I believed him. I used the woodblock again, and it revealed what appeared to be the fragment inside the cage. In that split second, the effect of the instrument also cast the man’s face in another light: he seemed for a second twisted and deformed. I knew something was very wrong.
I reached inside the cage and passed the soul fragment to my guide, who quickly vanished to a safer place. I knew the man was not what he appeared to be - there was something vile about him, not at all like the teacher that my friend had dreamed about. I quickly visualised something I could use as a weapon: my djembe was the first thing that sprang to mind, and it appeared in non-ordinary reality as a kind of directed energy weapon. I fired at the man, who stood his ground with a kind of strained expression on his face. I thought for a second that my attack was working, but then became aware of black tendrils reaching towards me from him. They had the appearance of living smoke, which entered my mouth and nose. I physically had a gagging reflex which lasted about thirty seconds (not pleasant!), in time calming my body into a more controlled rhythm of exhalation, getting rid of the smoke from my body. When I was more centred I realised I was now locked inside the fiery cage. Thankfully, I didn’t panic: I called upon Jesus to help me, seizing the cross that I keep beside my bed. A glowing golden cross appeared in non-ordinary reality, and a figure unlocked the cage and led me back to the place where I’d first entered the dreamscape. My guide was waiting there, his hands empty - the soul fragment (or whatever it was. I’m increasingly thinking it was just bait for the foolish amateur) was no longer there.
Of course, the first example is a pretty text-book account of dealing with a harmful intrusion. What interests me is the compulsion I had to act - this wasn’t something I had planned, more something that came very naturally. In case you were wondering, my friend is now much better - she didn’t dream of the dogs again, and is almost completely well (although the symptoms persisted for a couple of days).
I was woefully and obviously underqualified to even begin to attempt a soul retrieval, especially in the case of a persistent depression. What a tit. I don’t know whether I ran up against the real spiritual forces that may be at work in my friend’s illness, or just met some opportunistic nasties who happened to latch onto my naiveté. I think my guide left me to my own devices so I could learn a powerful lesson.
Lastly, I’ve had a recurring cough for the last seven or eight years, as well as experiencing dry heaving and seemingly causeless vomiting. These experiences over the last few days have made me wonder whether what seemed to be ailments were actually a preparation for shamanic work, or a kind of natural instinct coming to bear. Bouts of coughing and vomiting have certainly been connected to spiritual purges in the past that I can remember.
It’s a funny old life isn’t it? I’m not sure how this humble God-botherer wound up here, trying to integrate all these new experiences into my existing faith. I’ve not been managing badly so far... it’s just that these experiences have surprised me by their unpredictability and vividness, as well as relation to events in ordinary reality (in the first instance, the person who had the flu believes I cured her). Well, any further advice or insights into either of these experiences would be greatly appreciated, as well as methods for protecting myself in future. |
