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it's incredibly easy to get someone to say what you want without thinking, without running it through their own heads first, it's what Labour Parties are all about. It's a good reason why we have party whips, to not fulfill Norman Tebbit's gem "better to say nothing and have everyone assume you're an idiot than say something and prove it".
Assuming that celebrities are insecure, which I supppose will be a given a lot of the time, then we have to add some more into that and say that they will be looking for the best way to look on top of things, in control, giving 110%, blah blah blah.
For this, the nominees are:
(1) don't give a fuck
(2) get a big award
(3) get a cause
(1) is hard, because a lot of the time, it means that people will be angry with you, and will ostracise you, if you don't give a fuck about the right sorts of things. If you accidentally say "yay for fucking America, don't we have enough fucking flags already?" as opposed to "I cried for a whole week, I was so distraught" about September 11, for instance, then you're done for, you damned commie enemy of the people.
(2) is hard, because there aren't that many awards that count. Oscars, Golden Globes and stuff are nice. Nice too, just to be nominated. But, Mariah Carey and Britney Spears aren't going to get much beyond standing in front of a mirror and saying "this, like, toadly rules! for sure!"
(3) easy! Every kid with big sad eyes is looking for a patron saint, and every sinner wants to be it. get in, say "free tibet" at enough awards ceremonies, make enough documentaries of you in Uganda, and bammo! you're on your way.
The thing is, that causes get pretty nutty, and the competition is fierce. You either end up on one extreme, batting for the NRA, and on the other, duking it out with Elizabeth Taylor clawing at ball gowns and pulling hair yelling "no, I care about kids with AIDS more than you, you hag!"
So, who is the anti-christ? It's perhaps mean to assume that nobody cares about their cause, but sometimes it's not hard to see who's there to get their picture in People magazine. Lucy Lawless pointed out that you get all 'cared out' after a while, because you've just been asked to give and give and give.
So, it's the most tiresome, the most sincere, the most dedicated, and the one who, flipsidedly, gets to be on the front covers all the time, in articles that mention sad kids, derelict animals, dying people and political oppression very little.
Until I can figure out who that is, I'll give props to Matt LeBlanc as default anti-Christ, with Ricki Lake as Miss Congeniality. |
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