BARBELITH underground
 

Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.


Fabulous Fictional Bands

 
 
Saveloy
15:02 / 17.12.01
Suggested uses for this thread:-


Mucking about
Concepts of/pictures of/tunes by/reviews for silly-arsed fictional bands that you've made up in your head. Anything that goes beyond just the name.


Creative challenge
1. Person A describes fictional band and their sound
2. Person B tries to produce tunes by that fictional band.

Would work best, I reckon, if person A avoids anything that suggests simple pastiche or spoof.


Big naughty lie
From the Band Names thread:-

I Am:
"A serious project to create a fictional band, and then get a
buzz going about them, would be one of the coolest pranks to pull.
...We could do the whole thing, web pages, fake press, all kinds of fun shit."


count adam:
"It has been my plan for a while to start some sort of hoax relating to a made up band called HEROIN 69. They would be from Europe (it wouldn't matter what part), play glam-________ (fill in the blank yourself), and be "outrageous". That's about as far as I've gotten. If anyone would like to help me out by lying to people about Heroin 69 being their favourite band, that would be super."
 
 
Saveloy
15:04 / 17.12.01
A bit of mucking about to start the ball rolling:


Indie sensation THE LEGS:



Selections from their debut album "15 Denier": http://groups.yahoo.com/group/leswaters/files/01_The_Legs/


Bleep buggering bloop spankers TOKYO SQUIRREL:


French DJ Jardin de Max Facteur whips the crowd up into a frenzy with a steaming slice of Tokyo Squirrel at Belgium's infamous 'Club Floom'

The latest imports: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/leswaters/files/02_Tokyo_Squirrel/


Genetically modified sperm-troopers SPURT AND THRIVE:


They are fertile: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/leswaters/files/03_Spurt_and_Thrive/
 
 
rizla mission
11:24 / 19.12.01
(I would have pictures to go with these, but I don't have a scanner)

THE DIMENSIONAL SHAMBLERS:

Originally hailing from Austin, Texas, Birmingham, Alabama and Boulder, Colorado respectively, it was three years ago that Jeremy Cortex, Conroy Zimmerman, Duncan Wagner and Ford Scanlon came together in a Florida squat to form The Dimensional Shamblers.
“It wasn’t a squat!” protests Jeremy, “It was my mom’s house. She moved out, nobody wanted to buy it, so we moved in.”
It was here, within walking distance of both alligator infested swamps and the 7-11 that the band proceeded to make, in their own words, “a big fucking mess”.
And, as club owners and music fans throughout the South will attest, they make a pretty big fucking mess on stage and on vinyl too.
Drawing on the wilder moments of both the 13th Floor Elevators and the Jesus & Mary Chain, the Shambler’s music has to heard to be believed – like the Flaming Lips firebombing Dresden in a plane built by the Butthole Surfers.
You might call it ‘psychedelia’ if it wasn’t so terrifying. Epic song structure and otherworldly subject matter combines with a furiously intense punk noise assault to create unrelentingly paranoid soundscapes that occasionally give way to moments of almost extraordinary beauty. On Eat My Synaptic Death, a 4 song, 23 minute live recording available on LizardSweat Records, the band play with an energy and enthusiasm
completely at odds with their slacker exterior. “We’d be lying if we said we didn’t take a lot of drugs,” says
Duncan hesitantly “but there’s a lot more to it than that. There’s something .. primal going on.”
“Yeah,” agrees the near comatose Conroy “I think we’ve got some kinda direct guitar/emotion interface .. which we’re gonna milk for all it’s worth, creatively speaking.”
The Dimensional Shamblers have currently relocated to New York, where they’re looking for a producer to work with on their debut album (provisionally entitled “Digging for the New Gunsmoke” .
“We’re looking to get Dave Fridmann, Jonathan Donahue or any member of Sonic Youth with a free weekend” says Duncan optimistically.
The Shambler’s first proper single, an almost unrecognisable version of Echo and the Bunnymen’s People are Strange is out now on the Trance Syndicate label.

THE MANY VOICES OF HAT:

Today, The Many Voices of Hat (Kenneth to his parents) is clad in a ridiculously oversized witch's hat and cape and is carrying his ‘favourite’ pitchfork. "I tend not to dress this way in the street," he says by way of an apology "crying children are not a pleasant site to me". Though this ‘quirky’ singer-songwriter is on the verge on completing his third studio album, There’s a Rasta at the Door, he still resides in the same caravan by the seaside (he refuses to reveal exactly where "for fear of hooligans") where he first picked up a toy guitar one Sunday afternoon and began composing a song about a flying train. "It went on for hours," he explains "it became a kind of endurance test, seeing how long I could keep on singing about this train and it’s adventures."
It was on the strength of this alone that The Many Voices of Hat was first thrust into the limelight when an obviously impressed Alan McGee offered him a deal with Creation records. However, The Many Voices of Hat’s combination of twee surrealism and wilful eccentricity proved to be deeply unpopular and his debut LP Does Anyone Here Play the Cymbals? Was greeted with widespread derision from critics and audiences alike. The NME famously dubbed him ‘the many voices of twat’ and he was quickly and quietly dropped from the Creation roster.
"Poor McGee," says The Many Voices of Hat without bitterness "he does make rather a lot of mistakes".
His next record was really one for the ‘so bad it’s good’ file. A Clambake with the Dwarven Lords was a full blown concept album based on – yes – The Lord of the Rings. The final track, 'Bilbo Baggins Hates Us', fades out on a chorus of ‘smell the elf, smell the elf, smell the elf..’. Pray you’re never unlucky enough to hear it. "It was a purely financial measure" claims The Many Voices of Hat unrepentantly, "those Tolkien fans will buy any old bollocks".
But underrate this man at your peril, for There’s a Rasta at the Door is a far better record than anyone had a right to expect. Ably accompanied by electronic wizard Dr. Klaxon and classical woodwind maestro Marina Von Innocence-Mutter, The Many Voices of Hat’s songwriting has lost it’s previous python-esque silliness and matured into something altogether more beautiful. Sometimes sounding like Bob Dylan after a valium overdose and an 18 hour Dungeons and Dragons session and sometimes like a 21st century musical rewrite of Alice in Wonderland, The Many Voices of Hat’s new musical vision combines instantly likeable pop melodies with complex instrumentation and fastpaced narrative tales of lost love, sunny days, giant pigeons and gateways to other universes. Try it. You probably won’t like it, but hey, you never know.
 
 
Jack Fear
12:56 / 19.12.01
Recycled from an incomplete project solicited by Rizla...

Soldier’s Joy: Achtung, Baby!

In the post-Pogues musical landscape, whither folk-rock? To southeastern Massachusetts, apparently, where the three men and four women who make up the songwriting collective Soldier’s Joy have been tearing up local venues with their ramshackle, ecstatic reinventions of the American and Anglo-Irish songbooks.

All the good stuff is there—frantic acoustic strumming, swirling Hammond organ, impassioned boy-girl harmonies (all the band members sing), squalling guitar/violin duels, fat basslines, clattering multiethnic beats—all put together in constantly surprising combinations, with weird splashes of instrumental color enlivening both heady originals like "Kate On A Hot Tin Roof" (with its epic guitar coda), "Purple Jesus," and "We Who Love The Sun," and reworked traditional songs like "The Buffalo Skinners" (done up as a rattling spaghetti-western death march) and the eerie, chiming "Searching For Lambs," as well as the occasional wild card (a storming krautrock-informed cover of Nick Drake’s "Know").



Certain touchstones are apparent—the street-gang camaraderie of Les Negresses Vertes, the brooding power of the Bad Seeds, the angular guitar heroics of Richard Thompson or Television—along with a taste for quote-unquote "world music" and a widescreen sensibility: but Soldier’s Joy (named for a traditional dance tune) undercuts the earnest worthiness of po-faced crusaders like the Levellers with healthy doses of sleazy glamour and sexual heat, the former supplied by guitarists Ricky Hero and Kaz Haxsaw, the latter enhanced by the deep, warm grooves from bassist Jay Vincent and twin percussionists Tara K and Snigda Chatterjee. The band’s enormous musical reach is expanded by multi-instrumentalists Lydia Christian (keyboards, fiddles, and Celtic harp) and Drew Magyar (banjo, whistles, bouzouki, mandolin, reeds, and god knows what else).

With their debut disc Key on a Kite String (on their own Plaid Pyjama label) picked up for UK distribution and a summer tour to follow, look for the Joy to spread far and wide.

[ 19-12-2001: Message edited by: Jack Fear ]
 
 
Jack Fear
16:15 / 19.12.01
Yeah--scanned it out of one of my old sketchbooks, and then Photoshopped the hell out of it.

I'm not much of an artist, but I can do aggro/punk girlz with geetars okay.
 
 
Saveloy
21:18 / 20.12.01
AMOEBA DISCO


A chimp in a suit watches some amoebas having a disco

Chimps have always been fascinated by the amoebas that live underneath the jungle. Now you can hear why!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/leswaters/files/05_Amoeba_Disco/

(All sounds made by amoebas, except vocals on "Steve Irwin is Strong", which come courtesy of Sean, their chimp roadie).
 
 
Warrington Minge
17:59 / 13.01.02
THE HELENS



Art rock Dadaists from the rural setting of Forestside,
West Susex. Lead Voice Sh@t-nerwo Mann believes
THE HELENS style dates back as far as the stone age
of the 1960's B.N. ( B.N.=Before Numan ). Making
not so much music as bodily sounds and uses the sense
of smell as a stage set. Sh@t-nerwo Mann also believes
in flying above hedges to add intrinsic values to her onstage
persona.

Seen here perfoming to an educated gathering of Squirrels,
rabbits, mice and hobbitts THE HELENS perform their
masterful cover version of I DO LIKE TO BE B-SIDE THE
C-SIDE originally performed by the fellow Dadaist and close
pal of Bunuel, Dali and Ernst. Namely Mr B.A.ROBERTSON.

THE HELENS will be appearing at THE OLD VIC from the
29th to the 32nd of Februrary 2006. Book now to avoid
disappontment!!!!

For tickets call now on: 09065 558820

[ 13-01-2002: Message edited by: Warrington Minge ]
 
 
Saveloy
21:59 / 17.01.02
Re: the Helens

HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF...! I've just looked at that picture for the nth time, in light of certain background info gleaned last night, and I'm thinking "hang on, what's he talking about 'hedges' and 'one arm'?" and I've only just noticed the figure in the top right corner. I am scared. Warrington - was this reaaally, you know...

[ 18-01-2002: Message edited by: Saveloy ]
 
 
Warrington Minge
16:00 / 18.01.02
As I said the other night this picture was taken by my dad when he was young. Unfortunatly I cant ask him what it was about as he's no longer alive but I know he was only an amateur photographer and I would imagine anything created in this photograph was actually happening at the time ( the figure may well be standing on something, I dont know ). But I doubt very much that any type of technical camera wizardry was used at all. If this is forestside where he lived when he was young then it dates around the late 40's early fifties.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:09 / 21.01.02
Chillwinter Bastard

London New Wave/synth act with a nice line in droll, sarcastic wit. Think The Magnetic Fields if they radiated alcoholic Hackney sleaze instead of New York cool, or Hefner in black polonecks covering Laptop and Luke Haines numbers. Highlights of their debut album, Songs For Very Modern Lovers, include the hard-rocking ‘Shoreditch Woman’, ‘Is It Love Or Is It Closing Time?’, the Velvet Underground-esque ‘Pansexual Cigarette’, and ‘She Said She Knew The Way (Yeah)’, which details the apparently true story of one of lead singer Jared Cartwright’s crazy nights on the town with a young lady friend. Best of all however is the country-flavoured ‘You Can’t Trust Me With Your Girl (But You Can Trust Your Girl With Me)’, a live favourite and if they have any sense, their next single.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:12 / 21.01.02
Whitstable Jesus

Mild-mannered, delicate folk music that’s actually the work of just one man, Jonathan Gurnsby, who lives on his own in a small leaky hut in the Lake District. Gurnsby landed a record deal by happy chance after Gimp Records label boss Alex Phant got lost whilst on a camping holiday and found himself in the reclusive minstrel’s local, where he was performing a rare gig for a couple of friend’s wedding anniversary. Now the man who prefers to be known as Whitstable Jesus has his eponymous debut album: a collection of 23 beautiful acoustic ballads, none of them more than two minutes long, and all topped off with deceptively sweet vocals and such strange extra instrumentation as cowbells, the sound of someone sawing wood, and a boiling kettle. Listen closely and you realise that the subject matter of the songs ranges from mass murder and incest to Gunsby’s genuine fondness for collecting stamps.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
22:10 / 21.01.02
Daddyslap
Reclusive Turkish rap collective. Refuse to enter recording studios, preferring instead to FedEx a mobile phone to anyone who wants to hear them. Somewhere between 5 and 15 members. Roughly the same number of fans.
 
 
Warrington Minge
22:25 / 21.01.02
Not sure if I should post this here but in a rare case of life imitating art during His sell out Brixton acadamey gig in 2000 Gary Numan had a suprise guest make an appearance on the stage. None other than Dr Who himself during the Patrick Troughton Regeneration. Apparently the Tardis materialised on stage during the song REPLICAS and out popped the good Doctor to play an impromtu flute solo.

I apologise for the poor quality of this picture. A mixture of reasons ie: The crowd jostling and the general poor quality of my Kodak 110 camera.

 
 
Mr Ed
13:02 / 22.01.02
Briefly posed as the Ex-guitarist of Barcode, until I discovered they were (briefly) an actual band...
 
 
rizla mission
13:35 / 22.01.02
Warrington, that's got me crying with laughter..

..speaking of which, I'm currently pondering the creation of a band entitled World's Smallest Violin whose sole purpose is to mock Radiohead and Spiritualized..
 
 
Warrington Minge
22:19 / 27.01.02
Flyboy

this has been bugging me since you posted it but CHILLWINTER BASTARD is a quote from a book or a film or something. I know I've seen it before. Where's it from? Puh-leeeeese? Put me out of my misery.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
07:10 / 28.01.02
It's from the opening sentence of A Clockwork Orange, except I took out the space between 'chill' and 'winter'. Er, when I say 'I', of course I really mean lead singer Jared Cartwright and guitarist/synth-player Tony Baker Styles.
 
 
Mikaël
07:30 / 28.01.02
quote:Originally posted by Saveloy:
Suggested uses for this thread:-

Big naughty lie
From the Band Names thread:-

I Am:
"A serious project to create a fictional band, and then get a
buzz going about them, would be one of the coolest pranks to pull.
...We could do the whole thing, web pages, fake press, all kinds of fun shit."


count adam:
"It has been my plan for a while to start some sort of hoax relating to a made up band called HEROIN 69. They would be from Europe (it wouldn't matter what part), play glam-________ (fill in the blank yourself), and be "outrageous". That's about as far as I've gotten. If anyone would like to help me out by lying to people about Heroin 69 being their favourite band, that would be super."


So, what is this Heroin 69 band?
Who are they?
 
  
Add Your Reply