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Underground > Radio & Music >

Covers That Ain't Worth A Good Goddamn

00:04 / 05.10.01

Much to my regret, the other day I heard David Lee Roth's version of "Just A Gigolo", which was Louie Prima's signature song. Man what a piece of shit!!

Anyways, what covers, in your book, pale in comparison like an albino to the origional songs?

01:37 / 05.10.01

Well the fact that it originally came out more than 10 years ago may have something to do with why its shit now..but it was great in its day...(now I know the meaning of 'too damn young to feel this damn old")

How about Madonna's cover of American Pie...I almost cried.

The Return Of Rothkoid

10:16 / 05.10.01

Rod Stewart's cover of "Downtown Train" is terribly, terribly bad. The man was cool, and then - fuh? Tom Waits gets splattered by the mulleted-one's pitiful rendition.

Regrettable Juvenilia

10:30 / 05.10.01

Geri Halliwell - It's Raining Men
Atomic Kitten - Eternal Flame
Louise - Stuck In The Middle With You

Now, I just don't understand how anyone could think that these covers needed to exist. None of them bring anything new to the mix, the first two being so similar to the originals as to make telling the difference quite hard (except for Geri's trademark strangled-cat yelp). And the originals are still being played constantly in the kind of clubs and on the kind of radio stations where they play the new ones.

Ugh.

No star here laces

10:34 / 05.10.01

All of the execrable UK garage mixes of Joe Smooth's timeless classic Promised Land are an insult to the memory of this uniquely emotional and moving piece of dance music.

Mary J Blige's cover of First Choice - "Let no man put asunder" is pretty fuckin watery. The original is an absolute disco masterpiece that I defy anyone not to love - full of smart, sharp songwriting, nice building washes of orchestral sound and an incredibly sincere and powerful vocal performance. The cover makes it sound like R&B by numbers.

But the prize probably has to go to Louise - "Stuck in the middle with you". What the unlubricated haemorroidhal FUCK did the record company think they were doing in suggesting she cover that song?

[ 05-10-2001: Message edited by: Tyrone Mushylaces ]

10:44 / 05.10.01

Am I the only one that has been subjected to the guy from the Goo-Goo Dolls singing Wish You Were Here. With Limp Bizkit. I wanted to put my gun in my mouth.

11:02 / 05.10.01

That wanky nu-metal group who covered Blue Monday. What utter pricks.

The (ugh) Red Hot Chilli Peppers slap-funking their wretched way through 'Search & Destroy' - FUCK OFF NOW!

Everything on that fucking Jam tribute album, especially that Liam Gallagher whining abortion that got into the charts..gah.

[ 05-10-2001: Message edited by: Rizla Year Zero ]

11:46 / 05.10.01

Inspiral Carpets version of Paranoid.
Was it the Cardigans who covered Iron Man.
That was shit too.

That pop tart covering "Stuck in the middle"

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:58 / 05.10.01

The Cardigans cover of 'Iron Man' is genius!

More shit and pointless covers:

Toploader, 'Dancing In The Moonlight'
Kula bloody Shaker, 'Hey Dude'

The Return Of Rothkoid

12:02 / 05.10.01

quote:Originally posted by Bio K-9, the Judgmental Jigger:
Am I the only one that has been subjected to the guy from the Goo-Goo Dolls singing Wish You Were Here. With Limp Bizkit.No. With nu-lyrics, in fact. "So Glad You're Here"? I'm sorry, but what? Yeah, let's turn a song about Syd Barrett being lost in space into the next "Kum-Bay-Ya", hey Fred?

Fuckwipe.

Riz: I think you're thinking of "Orgy". Eugh.

The Lemonheads' "Mrs Robinson" was shithouse, too. Phoned-in fuzz. Why thanks, Evan, you really showed Simon and Garfunkel what for with that, dincha?

I am also fucking appalled to learn, via the Encyclopedia Metallica Covers Info Page that Jaymz-uh Hetfield-uh and crew have covered Nick Cave's "Loverman".

Words fail me.

Coincidentally; bar bands that make their living solely by regurgitating Top-40/popular tunes for the edification of the drunken patrons (and a special glass-in-face mention to "Rock Steady" at the Henry the Ninth in Sydney) should fuck right off. Yeah, I want to hear you play "Black Hole Sun" with a midi accompaniment, you fatbeard Ibanez-totin' cock-knocker...

GRR!

[ 05-10-2001: Message edited by: Rothkoid ]

12:10 / 05.10.01

quote:Originally posted by Flyboy:

Kula bloody Shaker, 'Hey Dude'

That was a cover version??

Holy shit, no wonder it was their only good song..

12:17 / 05.10.01

Not so much bad as utterly unnecessary: Sixpence None The Richer's cover of the La's "There She Goes." Note-for-note the same, but with female vocals. Totally superfluous.

deletia

12:22 / 05.10.01

Not unlike ver Sixpence themselves. But don't tell my . Girl. Friend. I said that.

The Return Of Rothkoid

12:41 / 05.10.01

I thought I'd blocked it from my memory. But a boyband called Ball In The House have released a cover of "Karma Chameleon". Don't think it's made it to the UK yet. Yet. It will, and it will probably be big, and it fucking sucks. There's a rap involved. A very, very, very bad rap. The whole thing starts with an "aaaaawwwwww yeah!". And goes downhill from there.

Fortunately, there's no soundclips of it on their site. But I have a copy. And am forever marked, leperlike.

14:05 / 05.10.01

My Ruin's version of 'Tainted Love' is quite embarrasing, and, in the pointless vein, a1's cover of 'Take On Me'. IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME...
Life Of Agony's cover of the simple minds classic '(Don't You) Forget About Me' isn't brilliant either. Good band, shit cover.

I almost forgot, Alien Ant Farm's cover of 'smooth criminal.' Covering early Jackson is sacrilege.

[ 05-10-2001: Message edited by: Johnny Mother ]

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

14:09 / 05.10.01

Honestly, have you heard Billy Idol's cover of that selfsame Simple Minds song?

And after I felt a little better liking him after watching Behind the Music.

14:38 / 05.10.01

'salright: Simple Minds' version is sort of a cover itself, in that the band didn't write it.

It was written by producer Keith Forsey... who, come to think of it, has produced most of Billy Idol's records.

Anyway, IIRC, Forsey's first choice to sing "Don't You..." would have been Bryan Ferry.

Jack The Bodiless

16:05 / 05.10.01

The Bates, 'Billie Jean' (no one needs to go there).

Metallica, 'Loverman' (I've heard it, Rothkoid. And am forever marked. Fungally).

The Cure, 'Young Americans' (much as I love them... no, Bob. No).

Chrissie Hynde, 'Creep' (wrings the tiny scrap of goodness that sparked merrily away in that song out like a spunky dishcloth).

All Saints, 'Under The Bridge', and Sixpence..., 'There She Goes Again' - "But we didn't know they were about heroin!"

I'm gonna cover Queens Of The Stone Age doing 'Feelgood Hit Of The Summer' and say that. You know... for kids.

16:07 / 05.10.01

Puffy P Diddly Daddly- I'll be missing you.

"I ruined this classic song for my fat dead friend! Respect!"

18:04 / 05.10.01

quote: Rod Stewart's cover of "Downtown Train" is terribly, terribly bad. The man was cool, and then - fuh? Tom Waits gets splattered by the mulleted-one's pitiful rendition.

Hi. I think "Downtown train" by Mr Stewart is brilliant. Everytime I listen to it I feel joy. One of my all-time favorite songs.

Warrington Minge

18:36 / 05.10.01

quote: Originally posted by Flyboy:
Kula bloody Shaker, 'Hey Dude'

I think HEY DUDE was original actually. It was HUSH that was a cover. Deep purple or someone like that I think.

To be honest the words Kula Shaker and original should never really go together.

My worst cover would have to be SHAMPOO's cover of GARY NUMAN's CARS. They even got the words wrong for christs sake!!!

19:11 / 05.10.01

Not exactly in the same category, but William Shatner doing "Mr. Tamborine Man" and "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" are travesties beyond measure.

08:37 / 06.10.01

..in a good way.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

08:37 / 06.10.01

Sleeper's cover of Blondie's 'Atomic', the only difference is between Louise and Debbie's voices. Still, The Shirehorses cover of 'InBetweener' was much better.

Ganesh

15:03 / 06.10.01

a1's weedy boyband cover of a-ha's 'Take on Me'. Bollocky bollocky shitness.

22:20 / 06.10.01

bonnie raitt singing "burning down the house". i heard it over the p.a. in an auto parts store and almost had a fit.

quote:Originally posted by Flyboy:
The Cardigans cover of 'Iron Man' is genius!

damn strait

15:49 / 07.10.01

Sheryl Crows whiny cover of that G'N'R rawk classic, Sweet Child O' Mine.

Incidentally, G'N'R's cover of Live And Let Die is twelve times better than the original.

The Return Of Rothkoid

17:35 / 07.10.01

And both versions are eclipsed by the version sung by the singer at the second Filet Of Soul club in the film. She had it goin' on, and wasn't wearing fucking bike-pants.

19:35 / 07.10.01

what about that wheatus cover of a little respect?..

that was shit .. then again so was the original.

22:35 / 08.10.01

pearl jam: last kiss
why the HELL for ANY reason did they EVER get to cover this song? benifit shcmenifit, they ruined a classic song

and i still have issues w/ presidents of the united states of america covering video killed the radio star... oddly enough almost every ska and punk cover i've allways liked (save for save ferris's come on eillen, mostly cuz it was unnessasary)

Graham the Happy Scum

03:43 / 09.10.01

quote:Originally posted by Rothkoid:
Coincidentally; bar bands that make their living solely by regurgitating Top-40/popular tunes for the edification of the drunken patrons (and a special glass-in-face mention to "Rock Steady" at the Henry the Ninth in Sydney) should fuck right off. Yeah, I want to hear you play "Black Hole Sun" with a midi accompaniment, you fatbeard Ibanez-totin' cock-knocker...

GRR!

Indeed.

Gwyneth Paltrow's "Bette Davis Eyes". Bad.

Tiddas' take on WPA's "For A Short Time". Bad. (Tiddas are fine and all, but they really stuffed the mood of that song.)

The Cure's "Hello, I Love You". Huh?

Midnight Oil's take on "The Real Thing" was OK, but nowhere near as whacked as Third Eye's version from 1991.

Frente's "Bizarre Love Triangle". Great for the way it majorly pisses off serious New Order fans.

03:43 / 09.10.01

i dig new order, and most new order covers are just out of order (ithangew), but i prefer the frente version of bizarre love triangle.

on the other hand, i recently heard a pretty dire version of dusty springfield's am i the same girl? dunno who it was by, but it was basically identical, except with a modern crapoid beat and absolutely no soul in the vocals. unlike dusty, who made it one of her most soulful (i have friends who've heard it and refused to believe she was white, which is pretty prejudicial, i know...)

03:29 / 10.10.01

Pearl Jam doing "Sonic Reducer" was rather pitiful.
Marilyn Manson covering "Sweet Dreams" was pretty bad, but then, I hated the original too...
Some local punk band covered "Cop Killer" and made it about a police officer that pulls them over all the time, kinda pissed me off...

09:20 / 11.10.01

quote:Originally posted by Zarathustra:
what about that wheatus cover of a little respect?..

that was shit .. then again so was the original.

hey, I LIKED that

...but then again, I think admitting I like wheatus in the first place is probably the first step towards addressing my problem....

18:41 / 12.10.01

Joe Cocker covering "Unchain My Heart".
I just got the original 1964 version by Nancy Wilson and it's another world alltogether.

Oh, and Cocker covering "You Can Leave Your Hat On", too.
Check out Randy Newman's original.