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Classic TV: The Things That Make You Go "What The Fuck?!"

 
 
Margin Walker
23:48 / 03.09.01
So, I just got done watching this "Classic TV Bloopers" show and all of these repressed questions all of a sudden came to the forefront of my consciousness. Like:

--Why the fuck is it that someone as cool as Fonzie is hanging out with a bunch of squares like The Cunninghams?!

--In "The Facts of Life", Tootie is always going around in rollerskates. How the hell does she get up the stairs to her dorm room?!

--On "Gilligan's Island", where the hell did they get the batteries for the radio?!

Let's get nitpicking, y'all!!
 
 
johnny whatif
07:54 / 04.09.01
Why the fuck didn't Hannibal from the A-Team's cigar ever get all mushy and covered in spit? He had it in his mouth the whole goddamn time...

Why the fuck didn't Stringfellow Hawk ever crash horribly because he never opened his fucking eyes?!

Why the fuck was Karl Malden ever allowed near the lens-end of a camera? (Not, strictly speaking, nit-picking, but for fuck's sake...)

"Epilogue..."
 
 
sleazenation
08:00 / 04.09.01
how about - on rainbow why did bungle walk around naked all day, but put pyjamas on to go to bed...
 
 
rizla mission
08:58 / 04.09.01
Why did Dr.Who's Tardis always land somewhere where something exciting and dangerous was going on?

I realize it would have been a prety dull show if he just landed somewhere nice and stayed there, but it bugged me when I was a kid and I've never got a satisfactory explanation..

Oh, and The Daleks - just .. WHAT THE FUCK? How do they become "the most feared race in the galaxy" when a)they move around like dodgem cars and, technically speaking, can't actually go anywhere except the specially converted floors of their city on Skaro and b)they're clearly the most ridiculously impractical machines ever invented - how are they ever supposed to do anything when the only way they can manipulate objects is via a sticking straight out immovable plunger on their chest? and c)If they were (almost) the only ones to survive the nuclear war on Skaro, how come they catch bloody radiation sickness as soon as somebody leaves the doors open? and d) couldn't you foil their plans more or less forever by building a foot high wall around their city which, even when they figure out how to leave the city, they wouldn't be able to get over?

(this is all on the basis of their first appearance, btw)

And, I mean, what do they do all day? What's their motivation when there's nobody around to exterminate?

(let them go, Rizla, they've suffered enough..)
 
 
Johnny Mother
10:37 / 04.09.01
similar to the one about Bungle....Donald Duck only wears his sailor, so why when he gets out the shower or bath does he wear a towel round his waist????
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
11:24 / 04.09.01
How come Goofy gets to act human while Pluto's stuck being a damn pet dog?

Why did nothing from Acme work? (I still harbour a secret desire to have an Acme catalogue.)

And how the fuck did Mr Kotter get anywhere near a classroom? And why were the Sweathogs still there? Everyone in class looked like they were about 25, for fuck's sake.

And, the classic, applicable to all superhero/spy/whatever shows - why doesn't the evil genius just shoot the hero in the head when they have the chance? (It's worth pointing towards the Evil Overlord List at this point, too.)
 
 
grant
19:02 / 04.09.01
On the Daleks, I think the impression was the ships did all the damage and the rolly things were just battle-modified wheelchair/bubble things so they could cart their sorry asses around.

Fonzie hung out with the Cunninghams because he was their boarder - they rented him a garage apartment.

I don't think they got batteries on Gilligan's Island - I seem to recall the Professor rigging up a bicycle generator. But that's ben a while so memory may fail there.

Goofy acts human because he was a stupid wolf, introduced in his own story about not fitting in with the evil pack. Pluto is a pet first and a dog second.
 
 
Dee Vapr
00:31 / 05.09.01
quote:Originally posted by grant:
Goofy acts human because he was a stupid wolf, introduced in his own story about not fitting in with the evil pack.


That's a nice inversion of the Tarzan / feral child myth, isn't it? I never noticed that.
 
 
A Bigger Boat
16:19 / 05.09.01
Goofy is a wolf?
 
 
RexMonday
00:59 / 06.09.01
quote:Originally posted by grant:


I don't think they got batteries on Gilligan's Island - I seem to recall the Professor rigging up a bicycle generator. But that's ben a while so memory may fail there.

Goofy acts human because he was a stupid wolf, introduced in his own story about not fitting in with the evil pack. Pluto is a pet first and a dog second.


i distinctly remember an episode where the batteries for the radio go dead and the professor uses some cockamamie chemicals mixed together in coconuts to recharge them.

and when i was little, i had a book on the history of disney cartoons that said goofy started out as a character named "dippy dawg."
 
 
grant
14:50 / 06.09.01
I too remember the coconut batteries....

The Dippy Dawg thing I don't know anything about, though.
This page confirms it. Hmph.

And this informative site seconds it (and adds stuff like plot details and the fact that his original voice was provided by a circus clown).

I'm going to have to "correct" my sources on that one. (reaching for length of garden hose)
 
  
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