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What's the worst comic you ever read?

 
  

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Spaniel
17:43 / 06.08.02
Ah, thought I'd dredge this one back up.

Alan Grant's Anarchy miniseries. For those of you that haven't had the pleasure, Mr Grant decided to jump on Morrison's bandwagon and reference his favourite literature and philosophy within a comic.

The result is truly breathtaking.

Anarchy - boy-genius named after famous political movement (intriguing concept Alan)- goes in search of pure evil (and again with the intriguing). On the way meets Etrigan, Darkseid and, if I remember rightly, the Joker - also has rucks with Bats.

All great stuff.

But not as great as the appendices where he recommends such beauties as:

Who Lies Sleeping? (the dinosaur heritage and the extinction of man)

Have you ever wondered why aliens are often reptilian in appearance?

Who are The Sleepers That Will Awaken?

What is our future here on earth?


I shit you not. Alan Grant is one dumb bastard.
 
 
Wrecks City-Zen
18:33 / 06.08.02
Sigh...

I was going to um...slag a couple of New Universe titles...until I saw Zoom's post...and he lives in the same city as me I believe so...

Remember:

ROM?
THE ADVENTURES OF KOOL AID MAN?
U.S. 1?
MICRONAUTS?

I have more.
 
 
Spaniel
18:45 / 06.08.02
Rom the space-knight? Bad? The guy was grafted into special space armour, had a huge gun and loads of cool space-knight mates. Gotta disagree - Rom's as cool as fuck.

Another thing about Anarchy the miniseries, the books recommended by Mr Grant have absolutely nothing to do with the actual narrative. I have to assume they're just his favs.

Only in comics, my friends. Only in comics.
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
18:51 / 06.08.02
I remember that mini-series. It actually did so well that they tried a regular series with it, but it crashed and burned pretty fast, as Alan Grant was no longer a "hot writer."

Is he still doing comics?

I loved the Micronauts. Loved loved loved. Wunnerful art by Michael Golden for the first 12 issues, and Pat Broderick doing his best Golden impersonation (mind you I was 14 and loved the toys too). I still remember the Gil Kane issue being a revelation to me, as I didn't care for his work before that, but he inked himself on it and I was mesmerized.

OK...the worst comic I ever read was X-Men 190-191...the issue where Kulan Gath takes over the world, people are tortured and die for two issues until somehow it all never happened.

:P

Made me drop the freaking X-Books until Morrison took over.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
11:33 / 07.08.02
I read the Anarky miniseries thing, initially it seems like a good idea, but when he actually manages to visit Darkseid and get back in one piece, then that horrible 'he dreamt it' utopia scene, ugh.
 
 
Sax
11:46 / 07.08.02
OK...the worst comic I ever read was X-Men 190-191...the issue where Kulan Gath takes over the
world, people are tortured and die for two issues until somehow it all never happened.


Is this the one where Manhatten gets transformed into a mediaeval island, and anyone who passes through a forcefield gets transformed similarly. That made me stop reading X-Men as well. In fact, I think they are the last issues I got up to Grant's run on NXM.
 
 
Spaniel
17:11 / 09.08.02
Sounds pretty appalling. X-Men meets D&D.

I win, however. That bibliography takes some beating.
 
 
Axel Lambert
17:47 / 10.08.02
Children's crusade (VERTIGO). Started off well enough with Neil Gaiman, then... argh
 
 
Wrecks City-Zen
18:38 / 12.08.02
OK.

Rom was cool.

Back to my original statement...

New Universe was kife.( except Starbrand)

Sorry Zoom.
 
 
arcboi
20:26 / 13.08.02
Crisis.

Truly terrible stuff and not even Carlos Ezquerra's art could save it.

It spelled the beginning of the end for 2000AD and I actually stopped reading comics some time after (for a long time).
 
 
houdini
19:08 / 14.08.02
I stick up for:
Starbrand, Spitfire (even with the frickin' Troubleshooters), ROM, Micronauts (although the current retropastichedonkeypoop will blow as bad as anything). And it's too bad you guys quit UXM with the Kulan Gath thing. Sure it was lame but it came right before Claremont's greatest run - through to about the end of the Mutant Massacre, where the Era Of True Suckage began, IMHO.

I will not stand for:
Youngblood. In fact, anything touched by Rob Liefeld. Wolverine. Lady Death and all her ilk. Xena. Buffy. Rising Stars. Mutant X. Sin City: The Big Brown Stain. Martha Washington Saves The World. Ghost Rider. Nomad. Comics' Greatest World. Deadpool. Captain Canuck.

But the winner is...
The complete works of Jack Chick. Just follow the link and you'll see why.
 
 
arcboi
22:22 / 14.08.02
Revolver (as I was reminded in another thread).

Outside of Dan Dare (which had TPB written all over it anyway) it was just terrible. So terrible in fact that I'll have to now dig it out to remind myself about how bad it was....

Pull out your own copy and then put it next to any copy of The Invisibles while restraining the urge to construct a sigil saying "KILL FLEETWAY".

Urge to kill, rising... RISING!
 
 
Sax
06:18 / 15.08.02
I thought Revolver was fab. Rogan Gosh. Top stuff And some Philip Bond thing with two girls that was quite nice.
 
 
The Natural Way
07:12 / 15.08.02
I, too, dug Revolver. Rogan Josh rules.

It was a good time - loads of acid house/ecstasy fueled experimentation.

I always enjoyed the pop a pill and write "Really and Truly" vibe.
 
 
Ellis says:
07:16 / 15.08.02
Deadpool? The early issues of that (Joe Kelly I think) were hilarious, especially the issue where he goes back in time and becomes Peter Parker. That was just brilliant, on so many levels.
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
09:18 / 15.08.02
rogan gosh/josh (wot wozzit?) was amazing - I will put it next to Invisibles as you say and what I will do is this:

honour both stories with a new medal of comics excellence. (with a special commendation tagged on to rogan's award for being so revolutionary it hertz)
 
 
sleazenation
09:31 / 15.08.02
without fleetway - would we even *had* an invisibles to compare its content to? I think not. I was having this discussion with one of my housemates yesterday - while revolver and crisis and escape and ultimately deadline all ceased publication, they did bring some of the most experimental and exciting comics of the time out - many of which have subsequently been collected.
 
 
The Natural Way
10:47 / 15.08.02
Yawn - I'm w/ you there, but I think yr forgetting to include a special cap and badge with the medals. They have to look their best, afterall.
 
 
DaveBCooper
11:28 / 15.08.02
Sleazenation, I agree entirely. There’s a tendency for us to ignore history (howsoever recent) in favour of the new stuff, even when the new stuff has used the old as a springboard.

I mean, I don’t rate cave paintings that highly as art nowadays, but I appreciate what they led to…

DBC
 
 
The Natural Way
11:41 / 15.08.02
I quite like cave paintings.
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
11:56 / 15.08.02
- the words of DBC

'I mean, I don’t rate cave paintings that highly as art nowadays, but I appreciate what they led to…'

nowadays?

so you like them when they came out first? you've been around a looooong time, dude....

and anyway, they led to 'Witchblade'.

(smiley enclosed)

Happy?
 
 
DaveBCooper
12:26 / 15.08.02
Yup, I was one of those who said this drawing lark’d never catch on.
But they ignored me, and went ahead and started drawing on the cave walls - basic figures holding odd weapons, in hot pursuit of … well, you know, sometimes it’s hard to tell, isn’t it ?

And lo, they did beget Witchblade, and I felt my scepticism was warranted.

So yes, I’m quite chipper about it, thanks. You okay ?

DBC
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
12:31 / 15.08.02
Hey Dave - I have no recollection of typing that 'Happy?' bit at the end of the post.

But I'm glad you are.

'spek.
 
 
Karen Elliot
01:14 / 24.08.02
I personally loath Dan Abnett's stuff. He's the symbol of everything that's wrong with 2000AD at the moment.

Any idea when any of the old writers might return? (you know who I mean....)

Also Mark Waid's dialogue in JLA is dire when compared to GM. I also seem to remember hating some of his plots on JLA. It seems to me that GM has a better grasp of physics than MW though MW has a degree in it.
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
09:40 / 06.12.05
anything by gordon rennie - the cunt who killed 2000AD.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:01 / 06.12.05
Oh, cripes. Just found the Shadowhawk/1963 crossover mentioned elsewhere. Not only does it turn out that HIV was invented by Doctor Cockroach the evil Communist, but there is also an attempt to exorcise Shadowhawk's AIDS. And the dialogue:
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
15:29 / 06.12.05
There are lots of BAD comics, it's true. But for me, the WORST comic EVER has got to be Amazing Spider-Man #512. It's one thing to write a shit comic book where the protagonists act completely out of character and don't seem to have a problem with emotionally horrific events. It's another to do the exact same thing and simultaneously shit over 30 years of history and the grave of a long gone and beloved character at the same time.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:33 / 06.12.05
Oh! I don't know what issue of Amazing Spiderman is being referred to above, but it has reminded me that the worst comic I've ever read in terms of writing (the art's quite good) is probably the 9/11 issue. "Even I, Victor Von Doom, could not have conceived of such an atrocity!"
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
16:35 / 06.12.05
I believe 512 reveals a) that Gwen Stacy had twins (of course they want to kill Peter and his entire family) and also b) that Norman Osborne is the father. And she gave birth to them 'fully grown.' I kid you not.

Actually, I just read most of Straczinsky's run on Amazing, and, well, pretty much all of it sucks.
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
17:12 / 06.12.05
That's the one. I thought Straczinsky's run was alright enough when it started (not spectacular, but not bad), but it didn't ever really improve. I stuck around for the art mostly (JR JR- I don't care much for most of the normal people he draws, but he does a mean spidey) and for love of Spider-Man. Then Romita walked away, which made me sad, and then this bullshit, and now I am a sad little arachnid.
 
 
Horatio Hellpop
18:07 / 06.12.05
re: movie-to-comic adaptations, i've been reading the "star wars" comic strip that archie goodwin and al williamson did in the early eighties and have been quite enjoying it. similarly, the al williamson adaptation of "bladerunner". i think, generally, there's some interest to be had in the "star wars" adaptations. in the first issue of marvel's version of "star wars: a new hope" (with howard chaykin on art), there's a bizarre scene where darth vader is standing around at a meeting drinking a glass of milk! (i guess that didn't make the final cut in the movie!) bill sienkiewicz' dune adaptation is pretty ace, but mostly for the art, because the length doesn't allow for the story to really get through. (sienkiewicz, however, said that he felt frustrated by the necessity of sticking to model on the characters because it seemed a backward way of doing things to limit comics more-expressive possibilities.) walt simonson's "alien" adaptation was interesting, if not quite capturing the tone of the movie.

on the other hand, i read the walt simonson/klaus janson adaptation of "close encounters of the third kind" which should have been pretty cool but just wasn't. at all.

the ones above are just exceptions; the rule is obviously that movie-to-comic adaptations are horrible.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
18:32 / 06.12.05
Killing is not our way.

No.. nor mine. Usually I just break their spines.

Waaaaagh!

Also in the same sale - the first three issues of Images of Shadowhawk - a Legends-of-the-Dark-Knight style attempt to provide different visions of Shadowhawk, perhaps even ONE THAT ANYONE CARED ABOUT. These visions featured Shadowhawk, the bargain-basement Batman, up against Trencher, who appears to be a low-cost Lobo. Created by Keith Giffen, who really ought to have known better.

I particularly liked the bit where Shadowhawk gets all upset because a nurse possessed by a psychotic assassin (just go with it) scratches his face, spilling HIS BLOOD. If he's that neurotic about the risk of others contracting HIV from him, has he considered a profession in which he is punched in the face by people with claws less often? Like, all of them?

Bonus points for Shadowhawk referring to the act of breaking somebody's spine as "breaking". As in "Impossible! Nobody I've broken has ever got up!"
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
18:33 / 06.12.05
there's a bizarre scene where darth vader is standing around at a meeting drinking a glass of milk!

Through a straw?
 
 
eddie thirteen
02:15 / 07.12.05
Off the top of my head, I think everything that I hate about comics all fits between the covers of Kevin Smith's Daredevil: Guardian Devil. Monstrously self-indulgent, this volume managed to fill what felt like 1600 endless pages with Claremontian blocks of purple text (Karen Page's "dear John" letter to Murdock must go on for at least six of them, and to me all on its own represents the very worst writing this field has to offer), pointless character deaths, tired rehashes (Bullseye), useless cameos by characters who apparently only appear because they give the writer a chubby, as it were (Black Widow and Spider-Man), and...well, that's really it, but isn't that bad enough? Not to mention that all ends on a shitty "twist" that was obviously extracted whole and breathing from the author's ass ten minutes before it found its way into his Word program. In terms of writing, this is about as bad as comics get.

But...you know, the art was okay.

PS: I too will stick up for The Micronauts (at least until it went direct-sales exclusive), and US1 and ROM have both aged well in a so-bad-it's-good kinda way. Interestingly, both series featured art by Steve Ditko. Like...interesting in a human tragedy sense, I mean.
 
 
Ganesh
11:14 / 07.12.05
there's a bizarre scene where darth vader is standing around at a meeting drinking a glass of milk!

The patron saint of milk-smelling mouth-breathers?
 
  

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